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introduction to femdom movies - 6/16/2010 8:22:18 AM   
submale4u1964


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Can anyone recommend a movie that introduces people to Femdom? I am introducing my wife to this, and she wants to learn what to do, limits, techniques, etc.
Thanks to everyone.
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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/16/2010 8:24:47 AM   
AAkasha


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quote:

ORIGINAL: submale4u1964

Can anyone recommend a movie that introduces people to Femdom? I am introducing my wife to this, and she wants to learn what to do, limits, techniques, etc.
Thanks to everyone.

Showing her any femdom porn is a big mistake.

Watch something like "Bull Durham" instead.

Akasha


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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/16/2010 8:24:55 AM   
Miyani


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I would go for non-fiction sites, rather like the forums here, over a movie. A movie will be romanticized, to an extent, no matter what the content. It will also show only one viewpoint, one that in all likelihood won't be compatible with what works for the two of you.

So, for techniques, here, Fetlife, blogs written by Dommes. For limits, well, that's entirely up to the two of you, isn't it? You can use a BDSM checklist, like the one found on the profile side of this site, to get an idea of what some of the activities are, and you can both rate them to see which ones you want to try, and which ones should be left off the table, now or forever.

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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/16/2010 8:34:37 AM   
ReginaMirus


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Ok, so are you looking to add a little spice in the bedroom style of domination, or are you seeking to genuinely serve her? Your answer will determine my answer.

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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/16/2010 9:13:32 AM   
LadyPact


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No, there's not a movie that I would recommend.  I think you'd be better off getting yourself a copy of the book "When Someone You Love Is Kinky" and have both of you read it.

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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/16/2010 9:18:03 AM   
Lockit


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How did you get your wife's permission/agreement to come here and look for playtime dominant's as you travel for work? Did you get a movie for that too? You know, that's the first thing I do when I want to learn something... find a movie about it!   And I love movies!

You have the feel of a guy looking to spice things up with mama or not, whether she knows it or not and wanting to find a movie she might watch in hopes of her taking an interest because she see's your drooling.

What basis do you have that makes you think your wife is even remotely interested in being superior to you and playing kinky? Why a movie? Why not something real life? You can't talk to her and express a desire to hold her above you in superiority? Why is that seeing as though you believe in female superiority and some sign of it should already be showing? Why would it be so hard for her to grasp that she would need a movie to pave the path?

If you have talked to her already (since you did say she wants to know how)... because she found out you had an interest somehow and is trying to please you or keep you and wants to know how to do the little tricks to make you happy... a movie is the last place go learn how to squeeze your balls. So you come to a real place where people know how to do it and ask us about a movie, which suggests to me, your wife's involvement at this point is little to none.

That's not how to treat a superior woman. First lesson.


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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/16/2010 10:08:51 AM   
PeonForHer


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Steady on, Lockit!  The OP didn't say that his wife was unenthusiastic about it all . . . .

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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/16/2010 10:12:31 AM   
LadyPact


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In all fairness, he didn't say that she was, either.

Belonging to the site for six years and just now the wife is getting involved?  I'd be shocked beyond belief if he had her consent for the first five he was here.


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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/16/2010 10:20:53 AM   
PeonForHer


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Hmmm.  OK, OP, what's the story?

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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/16/2010 10:44:14 AM   
Lockit


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See the way I see it is that if a man is submissive and believes in female superiority, somewhere in life that will show up. How one perceives that or understands it might be dependent upon their knowledge and experience. People see d/s all over in life and the animal kingdom and don't associate it to a relationship or life. They don't know to see it. I know I didn't at one time.

But I sure as hell knew a guy who loved to take care of me, do things for me and who thought I was the best thing since the Ford engine. It wouldn't have been a great leap to think he might be a bit more interested than I understood. A lot of things that a submissive will do for a dominant woman are things a gentleman or very romantic lover will do.

Someone with a partner who claims to believe in female superiority ought to be seeing something that would be a stepping stone to a half open door.


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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/16/2010 11:08:36 AM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

See the way I see it is that if a man is submissive and believes in female superiority, somewhere in life that will show up. How one perceives that or understands it might be dependent upon their knowledge and experience. People see d/s all over in life and the animal kingdom and don't associate it to a relationship or life. They don't know to see it. I know I didn't at one time.

But I sure as hell knew a guy who loved to take care of me, do things for me and who thought I was the best thing since the Ford engine. It wouldn't have been a great leap to think he might be a bit more interested than I understood. A lot of things that a submissive will do for a dominant woman are things a gentleman or very romantic lover will do.

Someone with a partner who claims to believe in female superiority ought to be seeing something that would be a stepping stone to a half open door.



I get that . . . but for some, all this stuff can be a helluva lot lighter - more fantasy, and bedroom-focused. 

However, how that relates to the OP's marital arrangements - and the issues of honesty and trust - is something else.

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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/16/2010 3:24:19 PM   
JhonDean


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quote:

A lot of things that a submissive will do for a dominant woman are things a gentleman or very romantic lover will do.


Personally, I see the submissive, the gentleman and romantic lover as being one in the same but my personal views are rarely the same as femdoms, regardless, I believe if this man were truly attempting to introduce his wife to a more diverse mindset he would not need a movie or the internet.

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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/16/2010 4:36:43 PM   
Politesub53


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

But I sure as hell knew a guy who loved to take care of me, do things for me and who thought I was the best thing since the Ford engine.



Only a Ford Lockit ? I would imagine you to be like a Rolls Royce.

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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/16/2010 7:07:37 PM   
MsAlisedeSade


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Try finding a cuple night event at your local dungeon. Someplace even teach technique. Stay away from the porn! Try getting here to read some of the books written about bsdm not fantasy but the real deal. You will need it to be from a female point of view. The Art of Female Sensual Dominance by Claudia Varrin is a good one for newbs and you may want to look at some of Elise Sutton's work as well.

< Message edited by MsAlisedeSade -- 6/16/2010 7:11:54 PM >


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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/16/2010 8:25:41 PM   
Glasgow


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quote:

ORIGINAL: submale4u1964

Can anyone recommend a movie that introduces people to Femdom? I am introducing my wife to this, and she wants to learn what to do, limits, techniques, etc.
Thanks to everyone.


I'm sure others have more experience than I, but I would suggest a movie instead of pornography. People around here can certainly suggest a few good ones that show more than the brutal sex side of bdsm.

As for limits, I certainly advise a good deal of talking over movies. A nice chat about the difference between fantasy and reality is also helpful.


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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/16/2010 9:00:38 PM   
cloudboy


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Try Body Heat.

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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/17/2010 2:26:14 AM   
MissAsylum


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everybody has pretty much said it best- NO PORN. if you poke around the boards a bit, the genral population isn't in favour of femdomme porn. if you show anything like that to your wife- she will either run screaming(wouldnt blame her- femdomme porn creeps me out too), think you are some derranged lunatic, or take it too litteral and will turn into the cookie cutter domme in those videos. if thats what you want, fine, but it has no place in a marriage. if you want to go the film instead of book route(i second MAS's choice for books) i suggest a movie that focuses on the RELATIONSHIP aspect. my favourite movie of all time is "Secretary" and you'll get an elequently done outline of relationship dynamics. however, since it bears repeating- NO FEMDOMME PORN.

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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/17/2010 5:46:31 AM   
PeonForHer


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I thought 'Secretary' was all maledom/femsub, which is why I've never bothered with it.  It sounded a bit of a yawner to me.

I can't think of a single film that would really help.  The OP's wife needs to grasp the point that she can take the power that the OP's (presumably) offering.  The most likely thing that she'll get from watching films is a richer array of ways in which she's obliged to 'act as a dominant', rather than feel it.  It'd be counterproductive. 

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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/17/2010 6:50:08 AM   
MissAsylum


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on the surface, yes it appears that way. But as a result of writing a dissertation on the movie due to chosing it at random on the Independent Film Channel in the US, it goes much deeper than Maledom/femsub. It moreso goes into Sado-Masicism, but the roles of Top and bottom are blurred greately. The boss introduces it as a coping mechanism for his Secretary's cutting problem, allowing her to express her pained nature in a postive manner. When he starts backing off due to guilt about "perverting" her, she takes the dominant role to get what she wants.

its quite interesting.

i suggest it because it can show how to ease he use of the D/s dynamic into everyday life which is also shown in the film and how it can progress into the kink aspect quite easily once the dynamic has been established. Having the OP show his wife a typical FemDomme film and pretty much saying- "Treat me like that", there is a good chance of failure and in the worst case scenario, can result in failure of the marriage.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I thought 'Secretary' was all maledom/femsub, which is why I've never bothered with it.  It sounded a bit of a yawner to me.

I can't think of a single film that would really help.  The OP's wife needs to grasp the point that she can take the power that the OP's (presumably) offering.  The most likely thing that she'll get from watching films is a richer array of ways in which she's obliged to 'act as a dominant', rather than feel it.  It'd be counterproductive. 



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RE: introduction to femdom movies - 6/17/2010 7:24:37 PM   
Ambyant


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Perhaps I just missed seeing this suggested, but I'll suggest EXIT TO EDEN as a fun feisty film.

Playful kink easing into mainstream Hollywood.

c'mon, it's too easy!

Always the best Diva~Zya



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