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RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 2:33:09 AM   
splorff


Posts: 386
Joined: 2/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

It doesn't matter what your profile says, you've already proven yourself to be a raving childish idiot with your posts


you're gone out of your way to behave like a spoiled petulant child and no, it's unlikely most women with a brain will find that attractive.


Well would you care to explain your coments ? Which posts are you referring to ?

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 2:39:18 AM   
splorff


Posts: 386
Joined: 2/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

I like the fact that you list your interests, because it seems like you're primarily looking for activity partners, but I do agree that you need to tell a bit more about yourself. Are you a jeans and t-shirt guy or does your closet only have button downs? Do you drive a SUV, a Prius, a motorcycle? What do you do for a living and do you enjoy it? If you had a free vacation would you choose Paris? Morocco? Camping?

Even people who are looking for casual play are looking for more than "some guy who has his own toys" - they want a person they can enjoy spending time with.

Also I'd recommend adding a photo of yourself, even if it's taken from far enough away that your facial features can be easily blurred, it adds a more human dimension to the profile.


Thank you for a useful reply. I'll use this to re scribe with

(in reply to Elisabella)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 2:52:48 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

It doesn't matter what your profile says, you've already proven yourself to be a raving childish idiot with your posts


you're gone out of your way to behave like a spoiled petulant child and no, it's unlikely most women with a brain will find that attractive.


Well would you care to explain your coments ? Which posts are you referring to ?



If I may reply with a few of your posts which I thought shed a less than ..... positive light on you in these early days here....

quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff
If you are ever in my area Ma'am do drop by and spank me for my atrocious spelling.  maybe this was meant to be humour however to me it came across as creepy and do-me subbish


quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff

Well that was odd There was a good discussion going on in here about choice, race and perception. Then wham ! The thought police seem to have decided that we cant do that !

Odd that its a taboo subject at a place where people are enlightened enough to speak openly about perversion and unnatural sex. Maybe we need some new mods in here. whiny petulant child using passive aggressive language to make out that you are the victim of the mean nasty moderators


quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff

No. This is the thread that came into being to discuss how another got ditched and died an untimely death, and which has now been replaced and is now called Racial Preference. Its interesting and sparkly.

How about we let this one die too , or maybe, a mod could rename it.....
as above


I don't know if the above are attempts at humour by you, if they are to me at least they are not coming across in that way.  Instead you came across as someone who was immature.

There are a number of people on the forums I joke around with, some Dominants(male and female) and submissives that I call babe or other pet names however these are all people whom I have built up a connection with on here over a period of time.  I would never address someone I do not know as dear, pet, missy etc etc nor would I make a joke asking them to spank me or anything similar. To me that is poor taste.


_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to splorff)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 2:56:00 AM   
splorff


Posts: 386
Joined: 2/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself


quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

It doesn't matter what your profile says, you've already proven yourself to be a raving childish idiot with your posts and yes I look at those too with any profile that has them. In my opinion, you're gone out of your way to behave like a spoiled petulant child and no, it's unlikely most women with a brain will find that attractive.


To be fair Laurell, we got the better end of the deal. The Mistresses got servile and creepy. We got arrogant boy with no respect for women.

I'm guessing we saw the 'real' Splat


I dont think thats at all fair.

I used my sub pen to address the Dommes, and my Dom pen to address the subs.

Dommes expect to be called Ma'am, Mistress, Goddess etc, and spoken to respectfully. I'm sure they would approve. But a sub would not wish me to address her that way. A sub would probably prefer, Hey you , or You girl. Well thats what I have found.

Servile, creepy, arrogant boy ? How about about unpleasant bitchy ladies.

A big thank you to those ladies who actually did have something thoughtful and useful to say.

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 3:10:08 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff

I dont think thats at all fair.

I used my sub pen to address the Dommes, and my Dom pen to address the subs.

Dommes expect to be called Ma'am, Mistress, Goddess etc, and spoken to respectfully. I'm sure they would approve. But a sub would not wish me to address her that way. A sub would probably prefer, Hey you , or You girl. Well thats what I have found.

Servile, creepy, arrogant boy ? How about about unpleasant bitchy ladies.

A big thank you to those ladies who actually did have something thoughtful and useful to say.


Oh good grief, so only d types want to be spoken to with respect? On the forums I have found that by far the majority of people (irregardless of which side of the kneel they are on) would prefer that you use their user id when addressing them so if I were to address you I would refer to you as Splorff  not as sir or pet based on you being a d or s, that is just silly and incredibly presumptuous.

eta and yeah, I am definitely one of the unpleasant bitchy ladies....and guess what, the things we are telling you could actually help you if you took them on board


< Message edited by wandersalone -- 6/18/2010 3:12:14 AM >


_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to splorff)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 3:12:45 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff

Thats right you missy !

Go and see my profile, I would like to see what you think of it. Is it attractively laid out to a female sub/switch ? Are there any improvements I could make? Is there enough or too much detail ?

All comments welcome

Thank you !



Usually only Jeffff calls me missy. It's like our little love understanding.

Good luck in your search.
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to splorff)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 3:15:31 AM   
splorff


Posts: 386
Joined: 2/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

It doesn't matter what your profile says, you've already proven yourself to be a raving childish idiot with your posts


you're gone out of your way to behave like a spoiled petulant child and no, it's unlikely most women with a brain will find that attractive.


Well would you care to explain your coments ? Which posts are you referring to ?



If I may reply with a few of your posts which I thought shed a less than ..... positive light on you in these early days here....

quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff
If you are ever in my area Ma'am do drop by and spank me for my atrocious spelling.  maybe this was meant to be humour however to me it came across as creepy and do-me subbish


quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff

Well that was odd There was a good discussion going on in here about choice, race and perception. Then wham ! The thought police seem to have decided that we cant do that !

Odd that its a taboo subject at a place where people are enlightened enough to speak openly about perversion and unnatural sex. Maybe we need some new mods in here. whiny petulant child using passive aggressive language to make out that you are the victim of the mean nasty moderators


quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff

No. This is the thread that came into being to discuss how another got ditched and died an untimely death, and which has now been replaced and is now called Racial Preference. Its interesting and sparkly.

How about we let this one die too , or maybe, a mod could rename it.....
as above




I don't know if the above are attempts at humour by you, if they are to me at least they are not coming across in that way.  Instead you came across as someone who was immature.

There are a number of people on the forums I joke around with, some Dominants(male and female) and submissives that I call babe or other pet names however these are all people whom I have built up a connection with on here over a period of time.  I would never address someone I do not know as dear, pet, missy etc etc nor would I make a joke asking them to spank me or anything similar. To me that is poor taste.



The first quote you list was indeed an attempt at humour. Regarding the second, I thought at the time that the post had been stopped because we were discussing race and discrimination. There is a whole bunch of people out there who seem to strongly disapprove of people discussing things of which they disapprove. That sort of things annoys the hell out of me.

I think every topic is there to be discussed. I dont like the interference of the thought police and do gooders. I could see no obvious reason why we were being treated in such an arrogant high handed fashion. However, soon it was pointed out why it had been pulled. It was because one poster had named another, and drawn attention to her post or something of that fashion.

I then saw that possibly, the mods were right in doing what they did. No offence was intended. At the time it seemed absurd that people were discussing cutting, beating and other sadistic acts, yet some who chose to discuss race,choice and discrimination, were to be silenced. If you think my comments were whiny and petulent, then think on. I did not

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 3:36:27 AM   
splorff


Posts: 386
Joined: 2/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff

I dont think thats at all fair.

I used my sub pen to address the Dommes, and my Dom pen to address the subs.

Dommes expect to be called Ma'am, Mistress, Goddess etc, and spoken to respectfully. I'm sure they would approve. But a sub would not wish me to address her that way. A sub would probably prefer, Hey you , or You girl. Well thats what I have found.

Servile, creepy, arrogant boy ? How about about unpleasant bitchy ladies.

A big thank you to those ladies who actually did have something thoughtful and useful to say.


Oh good grief, so only d types want to be spoken to with respect? On the forums I have found that by far the majority of people (irregardless of which side of the kneel they are on) would prefer that you use their user id when addressing them so if I were to address you I would refer to you as Splorff  not as sir or pet based on you being a d or s, that is just silly and incredibly presumptuous.

eta and yeah, I am definitely one of the unpleasant bitchy ladies....and guess what, the things we are telling you could actually help you if you took them on board






It is not disrespectful to call a subby woman missy, or to say- hey you ! to such a person. It is playfully engaging.

Certainly I would choose to address someone with their user id, but I was not addressing someone in particular. Go see ! I was addressing every subby female in here.

Do you really expect me to list every female user id on this forum, and then produce a body of text ?

I would not care at all if you called me Sir, boy or Splorff ! I certainly would not put pen to paper about it ! I think that you and a few others are grossly over reacting for whatever reason. But that’s fine, I don’t mind.

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 3:40:47 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
Splorff
What people are trying to explain is that you approached the dominants different to the s-types instead of approaching the forum as a group of people and treating everyone with equal respect until you get to know them.

the.dark.

_____________________________


RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to splorff)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 3:41:23 AM   
splorff


Posts: 386
Joined: 2/23/2008
Status: offline
I have run out of ink, and my pen is weary. I shall not reply to any more comments

If any ladies do have some comments regarding my original post, please send a pm. For the others good luck at charm night school, you certainly need it.

(in reply to splorff)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 3:44:30 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff
It is not disrespectful to call a subby woman missy, or to say- hey you ! to such a person. It is playfully engaging.

You are missing my point entirely..... it is playfully engaging if Jeff calls Sunny "missy" as they are friends who have built up a rapport over time, it is not playfully engaging for a stranger to address strangers as "missy".... that is patronising and off-putting.

Certainly I would choose to address someone with their user id, but I was not addressing someone in particular. Go see ! I was addressing every subby female in here.

How about "hi everyone"?

Do you really expect me to list every female user id on this forum, and then produce a body of text ?

I would not care at all if you called me Sir, boy or Splorff ! I certainly would not put pen to paper about it ! I think that you and a few others are grossly over reacting for whatever reason. But that’s fine, I don’t mind.

And that is your preference to be addressed in a number of ways by strangers, however myself and many others do not share this view.  You may feel that myself and others are grossly over reacting and hey, that's fine, I don't mind






_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to splorff)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 3:55:46 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
Subs like to be called "Hey, you!"?  I never knew that...

Until a submissive agrees to be yours, they deserve the same respect as anyone else.  After they agree to be yours, they will get as much respect as you choose to give.  I have never called a submissive "Hey, you!", including my own.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 4:26:02 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
If only he had said, "Hey you bitches"

Subs really dig being called bitches.



Also.... sorry about capitalizing the s in subs. It was at the beginning of what might be a sentence.
My dom pen does that automatically.


Oops...." Dom pen"

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 5:38:23 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff


quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself


quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

It doesn't matter what your profile says, you've already proven yourself to be a raving childish idiot with your posts and yes I look at those too with any profile that has them. In my opinion, you're gone out of your way to behave like a spoiled petulant child and no, it's unlikely most women with a brain will find that attractive.


To be fair Laurell, we got the better end of the deal. The Mistresses got servile and creepy. We got arrogant boy with no respect for women.

I'm guessing we saw the 'real' Splat


I dont think thats at all fair.

I used my sub pen to address the Dommes, and my Dom pen to address the subs.

Dommes expect to be called Ma'am, Mistress, Goddess etc, and spoken to respectfully. I'm sure they would approve. But a sub would not wish me to address her that way. A sub would probably prefer, Hey you , or You girl. Well thats what I have found.

Servile, creepy, arrogant boy ? How about about unpleasant bitchy ladies.




If I expect to be treated with respect by my dominant, what makes you think I don't expect the same from a total stranger who is asking for help and advice?

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to splorff)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 5:38:48 AM   
subrob1967


Posts: 4591
Joined: 9/13/2004
Status: offline
Jimmy Fallon says it best.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 5:44:17 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff




It is not disrespectful to call a subby woman missy, or to say- hey you ! to such a person. It is playfully engaging.

Certainly I would choose to address someone with their user id, but I was not addressing someone in particular. Go see ! I was addressing every subby female in here.

Do you really expect me to list every female user id on this forum, and then produce a body of text ?

I would not care at all if you called me Sir, boy or Splorff ! I certainly would not put pen to paper about it ! I think that you and a few others are grossly over reacting for whatever reason. But that’s fine, I don’t mind.



It was not playfully engaging. It was rude. No one expected you to address every single person by name, that would be silly.

A nice, "Hello, would you please let me know what you think of my profile?" would have gotten you that which you sought.

Instead you got a lesson in forum etiquette (for free!) and you've still learned nothing.

People often start off of the wrong foot here. I did as well. Some people learn from it, and become valued members of the forums, and others don't. Choose which one you prefer.  

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to splorff)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 6:08:56 AM   
KariCloud


Posts: 74
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff

I have run out of ink, and my pen is weary. I shall not reply to any more comments

If any ladies do have some comments regarding my original post, please send a pm. For the others good luck at charm night school, you certainly need it.


If you are weary about being shown that submissives appreciate respect, then I don't wonder that you've had a hard time finding submissives to interact with.

It wasn't playfully engaging. I personally think playfully engaging is best reserved for individuals.

I am submissive, and I, like many submissives who posted here, do not care to be addressed the way you did. I would suggest that unless you intend to attract the kind of submissive who wants rudeness from the first hello, that you would do well to look at your assumptions about submissives as a group. We are people, primarily. There is no need to treat submissives any differently than you'd treat strangers in the grocery store. A polite "hello" works miracles where a rude "hey you!" attracts nothing good.

Your profile says very little about who you are. There's no mention of a life outside kink. You don't talk about anything you enjoy doing in life except leather-working. If that is all you are, then you have a pretty serious problem. I'd suggest taking an activity class or two at a local college, joining an activity club or two, learn something you enjoy and then do it. Then, come back and talk about why you like it on your profile. Someone who has no life, no interest, outside kinky things is ikely to have trouble attracting interesting people.

If you do like things outside of kink, then say so! Do you like horseback riding? Hiking? Painting? Writing? Do you practice a specific spiritual path? Do you tutor under-priviledged children? Do you love attending raves? Whatever it is, mention as much of these types of things as you can and feel comfortable doing so. The more of the not-kinky aspects of you on your profile, the more likely you are to attract compatible people. Do you make anything non-kinky with your leather-working skills? That'd be good to mention too. Here on CM, one can assume that others are kinky. It's all the rest that I like to see on a person's profile.

(in reply to splorff)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 6:18:58 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff

I used my sub pen to address the Dommes, and my Dom pen to address the subs.

Dommes expect to be called Ma'am, Mistress, Goddess etc, and spoken to respectfully. I'm sure they would approve. But a sub would not wish me to address her that way. A sub would probably prefer, Hey you , or You girl. Well thats what I have found.

Servile, creepy, arrogant boy ? How about about unpleasant bitchy ladies.

A big thank you to those ladies who actually did have something thoughtful and useful to say.


You have so very much to learn, young Jedi....so very very much.

(in reply to splorff)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 6:20:33 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subrob1967

Jimmy Fallon says it best.




Now THAT was funny.

(in reply to subrob1967)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Hey you ! - 6/18/2010 6:35:11 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff

It is not disrespectful to call a subby woman missy, or to say- hey you ! to such a person. It is playfully engaging.



You are missing my point entirely..... it is playfully engaging if Jeff calls Sunny "missy" as they are friends who have built up a rapport over time, it is not playfully engaging for a stranger to address strangers as "missy".... that is patronising and off-putting.




I totally get what you are saying (both of you).

Here's the thing, OP. Perhaps what you are experiencing in this thread is what happens in real life? I did in fact take a look at your profile. I sometimes find that with folks I don't know it's not a bad idea to do that. Itsometimes gives me more of a sense of who they are.

I think we can see the issue that is coming up here is also in your profile (as I have read and understood it). I don't know that it's right or wrong, but it will give a certain type of woman pause. Your profile is chock full of play references, toys, roles. Nowhere is there anything about sharing yourself as a person or what you are looking for in a person other than a warm body. To me this smacks of a man trolling for an easy lay or for a one night stand. Nothing wrong with that, but that is not the norms on this board. On this board, generally there is a sense of comraderie and respect toward one another. A goodly number of people here have met and are real life friends. It seems that you have missed that realization. This is perhaps what is getting things twisted for you here on the board. Women generally don't like a level of familiarity that has not been earned. You are addressing the people on this board as if you have earned it. You have not.

Sure, there are folks who enjoy objectification and those who enjoy the whole "hey all you bitches" but I daresay that unless you actually have built a relationship, that will not go over well. *Wanders was absolutely correct about Jeff and me. One of my dearest girlfriends can call me up and say "hey girl, whatchoo doin'?" and it's all good. She's also a gal I can call at 4 in the morning with exciting news and the one I can call sobbing with a broken heart. She has earned that level of informality. So, too in these kinds of relationships. Just because someone enjoys a little hanky spanky or enjoys a power-based relationship does not mean they are open to it with any and everybody.

For your profile, I'd suggest making it a bit more personal. Let people know who you are... and you may want to get to some munches and see *people* as they are.

Good luck in your search,
sunshine

(To Jeff - I know, I know... I said sobbing and now you are packing Mr. Stiffy. I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not).

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 40
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