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Self-Depressive Sissy Slave - 6/18/2010 3:21:45 PM   
angelicbst


Posts: 16
Joined: 1/23/2008
Status: offline 		Okay, I am here to ask for help from any who are experienced.  Here is the story, I have a long-distance, sissy slave.  Personal friend from a trip.  The problem is the attitude.  She is so self depressive that I have a hard time trying to be too strict.  Because S/he is a personal friend.   I have recently had a baby and been in recovery for a week, around 11 days total, when I got back on line, I find depressive e-mails and suicidal pics.  I understand that slave need attention, but all things considered I think I have had a pretty damn good excuse, and we have still been in contact over the phone.  Any ideas are welcome.  Any advise is appreciated.  
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RE: Self-Depressive Sissy Slave - 6/18/2010 3:35:56 PM   
LadyCimarron


Posts: 625
Joined: 12/29/2009
Status: offline 		To be blunt I would dump her.  You have a new baby, you are recovering and you have a lot of changes in your own life to adjust to. You should be focusing on your child. You do not have time to prop up someone who may be clinically depressed and suicidal. And frankly the kind of help she needs, you cannot give her. Do yourself a favor and let this go.

(in reply to angelicbst)
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RE: Self-Depressive Sissy Slave - 6/18/2010 5:11:09 PM   
FelineFae


Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline 		OP, you are their friend, not their therapist. All you really can do as the friend is advise them into treatment for their depression.

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RE: Self-Depressive Sissy Slave - 6/18/2010 5:15:07 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Agreed!

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RE: Self-Depressive Sissy Slave - 6/18/2010 5:17:50 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyCimarron

To be blunt I would dump her.  You have a new baby, you are recovering and you have a lot of changes in your own life to adjust to. You should be focusing on your child. You do not have time to prop up someone who may be clinically depressed and suicidal. And frankly the kind of help she needs, you cannot give her. Do yourself a favor and let this go.


What LadyCimarron said, but more emphatically.  Someone who is so self-focused that they overlook your new baby (who needs you) and cannot see past themselves is not a friend.

And congrats on the new kiddo!

Since it's a boy, I should call him a little squirt!


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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: Self-Depressive Sissy Slave - 6/18/2010 5:20:07 PM   
KYsissy


Posts: 781
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline 		You have your hands full, and will have your hands full for years to come.  Do you have room to prop up this person?  It sounds like they need help or at least someone who can devote the time and attention they are wanting.  For them not to understand your situation and act accordingly sounds selfish and self absorbed.  

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RE: Self-Depressive Sissy Slave - 6/18/2010 5:20:57 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyCimarron

To be blunt I would dump her.  You have a new baby, you are recovering and you have a lot of changes in your own life to adjust to. You should be focusing on your child. You do not have time to prop up someone who may be clinically depressed and suicidal. And frankly the kind of help she needs, you cannot give her. Do yourself a favor and let this go.



You are not a retard!

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RE: Self-Depressive Sissy Slave - 6/18/2010 5:30:35 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		And may I suggest a CoDependents Anonymous or AlAnon group for you? That you don't know this suggests you have boundary issues yourself. It is hard when we want to support others and be kind. But by the time people are your age generally they know to put first things first. You don't know that and are being manipulated. You are allowing the manipulation.

Good luck,
sunshine

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RE: Self-Depressive Sissy Slave - 6/18/2010 5:42:30 PM   
cassandria


Posts: 86
Joined: 6/6/2010
Status: offline
First of all, I'd like to offer you Congratulations - you must be so happy!! pants with zippers, here you come! and isn't it wonderful to finally see who was kicking you? :) You must be just overjoyed at being a new mother!

New babies sense stresses in their mothers. It can affect your milk production, it certainly can affect the quality of the rest that you receive, and in my opinion, new mothers need to be under as little stress as possible. This is a very special time for you and your new baby, and you need to be given the time to enjoy it, and to rest and recouperate as well. Your body needs to be cared for, in all ways.

Your friend needs a good therapist and quite possibly some meds I think, perhaps...even temporarily, to help pull him up while he is given the counselling tools to help himself. It's sad he is struggling this way.

But...you cannot be worrying about him so much...he has some issues that are beyond your ability to control, from what you've shared here. Domme or slave, every woman who gives birth needs that time to bond and enjoy their new baby, and to heal. He is not your problem to worry about...he has to take responsibility for his own problems, when it comes to his own life and his desire to live it. That is my opinion...I realize it's a bit strong, but I don't believe in coddling someone who does things like this - a slave is supposed to live to serve...he's obviously not in a place in his life where he's able to do that, which is why I feel he needs more help than you are able to give.

I hope you give yourself that time to just rest and love your new baby, and that you have the wisdom to know your own limitations. Not only do you have a "damned good excuse", but you've already over-extended yourself by the sounds of it.

Time to have a bath, relax with baby, enjoy the flowers and gifts and visits from those around you, and anyone who is going to take from that joy...that person really needs to go in a different direction for the time being, in my opinion. Surround yourself with healthy, supportive people, as much as possible.

Sometimes the best expression of love towards someone is forcing them to address their own issues, by whatever means you need to do so - even if that means detaching yourself from the friendship, temporarily.

Congratulations again!




(in reply to Jeffff)
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RE: Self-Depressive Sissy Slave - 6/18/2010 5:53:32 PM   
LadyCimarron


Posts: 625
Joined: 12/29/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

You are not a retard!


OMG! That's the nicest thing any anteater has ever said to me.

(in reply to Jeffff)
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RE: Self-Depressive Sissy Slave - 6/18/2010 5:57:45 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		i am good with werds!

< Message edited by Jeffff -- 6/18/2010 5:58:06 PM >

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RE: Self-Depressive Sissy Slave - 6/18/2010 6:23:47 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with sunshinemiss that you are being manipulated.

You are long distance. What can you do? What are you able to do?

Tell him to seek help locally.

(in reply to angelicbst)
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RE: Self-Depressive Sissy Slave - 6/18/2010 6:33:18 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'd say bitch slap 'em with a greasy glob of vaseline, but since it's long distance...



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RE: Self-Depressive Sissy Slave - 6/18/2010 6:36:44 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Order this person to go see a psychiatrist. Suicidal depression is not something a dominant can cure. You may be her lifeline but this is beyond your scope. If she is a personal friend, do you know her family? If so, contact them, tell them about the threats and suggest they take her to the doctor. Or the psych hospital.

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RE: Self-Depressive Sissy Slave - 6/19/2010 8:45:19 AM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Order this person to go see a psychiatrist. Suicidal depression is not something a dominant can cure. You may be her lifeline but this is beyond your scope. If she is a personal friend, do you know her family? If so, contact them, tell them about the threats and suggest they take her to the doctor. Or the psych hospital.


spot on !!

thought to add:  there is no such think as "self depressive" but if this girl's need to be a sissy slave is brought on because there have been issues of suicidal depression and "self depravation," then this person seriously needs help.


< Message edited by RealSub58 -- 6/19/2010 8:50:08 AM >

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RE: Self-Depressive Sissy Slave - 6/19/2010 11:12:41 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Added thought. Nobody becomes suicidal because a friend is too busy. It isn't deliberate manipulation, it's mental illness. Which requires professional intervention. She calls you up and threatens to kill her if you don't drop everything and come visit, call her local police and tell them her name, address and that she threatens self harm. They are trained to handle this, you aren't. And 72 hours involuntary is more than enough for most diagnoses and to begin medication trials.

When I told my doctor I was having suicidal ideation and refused a weekend in the psych hospital, she put me on a starter set of Zoloft. By the time I saw the psychiatrist on Monday the ideation had lifted and all we needed was to play with dosages to eliminate side effects and then slowly over months build the levels back up.

But you bear the responsibility of playing therapist until now when it is no longer convenient for you. You were wrong to start it. You should have insisted every time she call that she go see a professional and been clear that this was beyond you. Instead being the only person she could trust was a huge ego boost so you encouraged it. And now that you can't deal with it, suddenly she's being manipulative? Not from where I stand. And I've been on both sides so I see clearly.


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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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