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ORIGINAL: Dustyn

What influences do you think makes a switch who and what they are?

1.  I'm a pretty medium person in general.  A little bit of drama is good to keep life interesting, but not so much that I'm drowning in it.  I like food at a 3-star spiciness most of the time.  I'm a Libra (the scales, justice, etc), bisexual (which I began noticing in high school) and polyamorous. 

2.  Balance is pretty important to me.  Reciprocity and the ability to resolve conflict are important to me in any relationship that's going to last a while.  The most believable relationships I've ever encountered are ones where all partners are putting in what seems to be the same amount of attention and care.  (The Four Seasons with Carol Burnett, Alan Alda and Rita Moreno was a big influence on me at an early age.)

3.  Complexity is also good.  Variety, variation, the interest in being a generalist, learning a great many things and wearing multiple hats rather than specializing in just one thing.

4.  Surprising people.  Because I'm a rather medium person who doesn't stand out much, I've found that many of my behaviors and attitudes -- down to the way I talk and some of my politics -- really seem to catch some people off guard.  I grew used to this at an early age, so anyone's surprise that I can and do switch kinda rolls off of me now.

5.  Early experiences with a lover.  After my first flogging as a nervous novice by a lover who'd been kinky for years, I ended up nibbling at his neck as we cuddled.  My lover was also a pain slut, so my nibbling became chewing and went on until he was screaming -- though he only paused me once due to feeling a bad pain.  Afterwards, he rolled his head towards me and said, "Wow, you flipped me.  I didn't know you did that."

6.  Early experiences in the sex-positive community.  Any discrimination against switches where I play is an underlying current that I haven't really bumped into yet, though others apparently have.  For the most part, it's a "if you want us to accept you, you'd jolly well better be accepting" attitude.  There's no real overt hostility towards switches, and the orientation was positively presented to me shortly after I first joined.

7.  Also, I agree with SubCatherine.  Having some bad experiences in both my childhood and my adult life have encouraged me to explore balance in multiple parts of my life, including kink.  I get twitchy if I submit all the time, as though I'm unfinished.  Given my relationship with my Daddy, I know I'd get twitchy if I dominated all the time -- I'd miss his and my dynamic too much!  The need to endure and be cherished is strong in me, but so is the need to guide and provoke reaction.