RE: What does "submissive" mean to you?

RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (Full Version)

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laurell3 -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:28:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Well, all I can say is, I had a topic today go to squat fairly quickly because I used the term "sub males" rather than bottom/sub/slave/masochists/switchesthatbottom/switcheswhosub/pickyourtermhere. I'm not sure where that is LP, and it's unfortunate. I think often times real discussion is hindered by unrealistic attitudes. I guess my question is why do we (we meaning the population at large, not you and I) perpetuate these myths? Why are there so many unrealistic expectations and responses?

xXsoumisXx -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:29:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Well, all I can say is, I had a topic today go to squat fairly quickly because I used the term "sub males" rather than bottom/sub/slave/masochists/switchesthatbottom/switcheswhosub/pickyourtermhere. And that is crazy when everyone knows what You mean. It reminds of some groups out there always looking for something that is not PC..!

laurell3 -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:32:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Oh well that's because people want to mix up orientation with personality and turn personal relationship dynamics into a social status heirarchy. No biggie. If we want it to stop we need to speak against "caps rules," speak against calling doms sir and subs nothing, speak against subs needing mentors/protectors while doms don't and all those other double standards that are perpetuated in the scene. Some doms need protectors! (looks at Jeffff). I have taken the liberty of placing Jeffff under my protection and consideration. [;)] How do we stop the perpetuation of those myths and double standards LA?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:32:48 PM)
quote: I guess my question is why do we (we meaning the population at large, not you and I) perpetuate these myths? Why is are there so many unrealistic expectations and responses? Because it makes them feel squishy inside and if they had to own it for themselves, it would be too scary, too independent and too much responsibility. Much better to keep the fantasy alive so you can have that protector, call all doms sir, feel like there's something special and universal about "submission" so you can call us all "sisters." quote: How do we stop the perpetuation of those myths and double standards LA? Speak out about it at the relevant opportunities in a direct and respectful way.

laurell3 -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:34:49 PM)
Yeah I agree LA. I respect your opinions, but you are NOT my sister, sorry. [;)]

ncprincess -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:35:02 PM)
We will never stop them. You will always have the ones that think unless you behave exactly as they behave you can't be "truly" submissive, dominant, etc.

Jeffff -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:36:38 PM)
I am gonna need some leather pants. I was hoping to avoid the expense.

laurell3 -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:37:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff I am gonna need some leather pants. I was hoping to avoid the expense. Those might be painful if you keep insisting on going commando. See? how unsubmissive was THAT response?

Jeffff -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:38:13 PM)
One word.......Quirt..... nuff said

ncprincess -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:41:45 PM)
If you wear the leather pants and have a whip at all times I'll have scrapes on my knees from crawling around on them because I would be in such awe of your domliness. [8D]

LadyPact -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:43:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 I'm not sure where that is LP, and it's unfortunate. I think often times real discussion is hindered by unrealistic attitudes. I guess my question is why do we (we meaning the population at large, not you and I) perpetuate these myths? Why are there so many unrealistic expectations and responses? I think it has something to do with debating it to death, rather than just experiencing things. There are a lot of things that get written on boards that I've never run across any time I walked outside My front door.

laurell3 -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:44:21 PM)
You really mean from literally rolling on the floor laughing right?

laurell3 -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:45:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 I'm not sure where that is LP, and it's unfortunate. I think often times real discussion is hindered by unrealistic attitudes. I guess my question is why do we (we meaning the population at large, not you and I) perpetuate these myths? Why are there so many unrealistic expectations and responses? I think it has something to do with debating it to death, rather than just experiencing things. There are a lot of things that get written on boards that I've never run across any time I walked outside My front door. Yeah that's what I mean about unrealistic attitudes. Life isn't much like fantasy sadly. Thanks LP. Great point.

ncprincess -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:47:00 PM)
exactly. [:D]

littlewonder -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:50:18 PM)
if you say you are submissive it means you surrender. If you say you are A submissive it means you surrender at specific times at your choosing. If you say you are a slave it means you surrender..period. You don't get to choose. You don't get to say how or when. those are my definitions. If you call yourself one of those then that's what I'm going to assume you are and how I would define that person in my mind.

laurell3 -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:53:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 Yep these statements are indeed silly laurell, and they drive me nuts. I am "submissive" in my own relationship and probably even to him, not enough. When random people that I don't even know tell me the rules of submissive behavior, it makes me either irritated or amused, depending on my mood. Being submissive to your partner, for me, have absolutely no bearing on my day to day life or my very not submissive personality. Yeah I agree Aynne and I am very much the same way. However, these comments are so common that I have to wonder is that what people really want to be true and is that realistic or are they just overexposed to the internet and not experiencing at all (as LP points out)?

mummyman321 -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:54:23 PM)
Ah.....you have to love the internet world. While some people may choose to live 24/7 of a sub, slave, Dom(me), insert you're favorite title here, in everything they do in real life and internet life, the greater reality is most people tend to be more private and choose to play their role behind closed doors. Mind you I said most and not all. For me, I am only submissive to my special person. At work I am certainly not submissive, at play (non-bdsm play) I am very aggressive. When I post in the forums I speak my mind regardless if I am replying to a Domme or a sub. Just because a person lists themselves as a submissive does not mean that everything they do/say/write need be in a submissive manner.

laurell3 -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:55:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder if you say you are submissive it means you surrender. If you say you are A submissive it means you surrender at specific times at your choosing. If you say you are a slave it means you surrender..period. You don't get to choose. You don't get to say how or when. those are my definitions. If you call yourself one of those then that's what I'm going to assume you are and how I would define that person in my mind. Thanks littlewonder, outside of your dynamic, do you have some expectation that a submissive or slave would act in a certain manner towards you who is not in that dynamic based on their label/role?

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:55:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 As an opening, I'm a bit annoyed. I have seen probably 10 references to posting in a manner that "isn't submissive" or "isn't slave-like" or "isn't dominant" just in the last week. Am I totally offbase in thinking those statements are silly? Do you truly believe that you can gauge a person's ability to surrender/submit on posts on the internet when they are not submissive to YOU? But this annoyance got me thinking about our different viewpoints, in the more general sense, what does the word submissive mean to you? No, I'm not asking for dictionary definitions, a semantics debate, or the difference between subs and slaves and or limits or the lack thereof, please don't go there. What does it mean for someone to be submissive in the larger sense of the word for you personally? Does your personal definition leave room for reality? The question is about YOUR viewpoint, there are no right or wrong answers and yes, it is vague intentionally. No role is limited from answering this thread. Submissive means generally one of two things in my book, either it's their general personality or the submissive partner of a D/s relationship. I'm with LA regarding how people get personality and relationship dynamics all screwed up. My definition leaves plenty of room for reality, at times reality is far more interesting and stranger than fiction even. I myself am not none stop Dominant 24/7, and to be honest with you I've yet to encounter anybody submissive who is none stop submissive 24/7 either. I'm speaking in terms of personality or disposition wise here. Regarding people's relationship structure, it's what terms they come to regarding what does or does not define their D/s relationship. Mind you, I would have some serious reservations about calling somebody submissive that is bossing the Dominant partner around and telling them what to do. I would have to make the "not submissive" or "not Dominant" call on things. Then again, it might be entertaining to simply watch with delight and for entertainment.

Aynne88 -> RE: What does "submissive" mean to you? (6/21/2010 7:57:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 Yep these statements are indeed silly laurell, and they drive me nuts. I am "submissive" in my own relationship and probably even to him, not enough. When random people that I don't even know tell me the rules of submissive behavior, it makes me either irritated or amused, depending on my mood. Being submissive to your partner, for me, have absolutely no bearing on my day to day life or my very not submissive personality. Yeah I agree Aynne and I am very much the same way. However, these comments are so common that I have to wonder is that what people really want to be true and is that realistic or are they just overexposed to the internet and not experiencing at all (as LP points out)? Well personally yes I think it is a product of porn, and sites like Kink,which no offense, I do enjoy from time to time, but I live a real life and so for me, these "rules and regulations"of what a submissive should be are just foolish. I live by your sig line baby! [;)]. Only one, and it ain't you!

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