Fuzzy Hard Limit? (Full Version)

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joey46 -> Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:14:40 AM)

I have been invited to accompany a Domme friend to a week at her family's cottage at the lake.  She says that her parents who are in their late 80's (she and I are in our early 60's), her brother, her sister, and their families will be there.  The youngest child is now 13 and their ages go up from there.

One of my hard limits has always been involving children, for reasons that I have always thought were obvious.  But, just what does "involve" mean?

She says that she has been bringing slaves with her to the cottage for years and that everyone loves it. Long ago they just wrote it off as another thing that crazy Aunt Katie does and they've looked for the positive.   They don't have to do dishes, or make beds, or clean up, or cook unless they want to.  They don't have to be polite to a guest, or set an extra place at the table, or share hot shower water with an extra person.  And at least one person will be following the house rules, or else.

I realize that I have been relatively closeted in my submission and that may be what I am reacting to.  However, I do wonder about the effect on the children, even the ones who are by now technically adults.  Is it good for them to be able to order an adult around, to be served, to enforce rules, to be in a superior role?

I have to admit that the idea of being sub to three generations turns me on, and I'm a bit uncomfortable with that.

Should I go and probably learn something, or pass on the invitation?

joey



mstrjx -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:22:47 AM)

It sounds to me as if you're being asked to be maid, butler, chauffer, gardener, bottle washer. It didn't sound as if you're taking the strap-on with amphitheater seating.

Be nice. Be polite. Be helpful. Don't make an issue of what your position is. Go and make the most of it.

Jeff



sirsholly -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:25:37 AM)

quote:

I have to admit that the idea of being sub to three generations turns me on, and I'm a bit uncomfortable with that.
the youngest of the three generations is thirteen years old. Sorry...that is absolutely unacceptable in my view.



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:28:12 AM)

I'd also consider this a 'fuzzy hard limit' and say that it is completely up to you. It depends on how you see this. Our household has servants. Our household also has members ranging from 4 months old to 63 years old... and our extended families also have individuals of all age ranges from infants to grandparents. The servants in our household embrace their roles, and provide common services like food service and household care for everyone in the house -- even our members who aren't involved in authority-based relationships. They dress in uniforms or in basic street-wear, and, to outward appearances, aren't any different than a paid servant out in the world (except that their "salary" comes in the form of behavioral management, rather than in dollars/cents). There is -nothing- sexual about the service done for the good of the whole household, and so, to me, this would be sort of like "Aunt Katie" hiring a housekeeper for the weekend. I've often brought one of our servants with me when I've traveled, and had that servant help out in the households of friends and family where I was staying -- and as long as the service remained "service"... as in "household service"...  nobody had any problems with it, and considered the person just as they would a hired hand.

Where I would draw the line myself may not be where -you- would draw the line, but for me, I would expect that all overt sexual references and sexually-explicit clothing would be off-limits in such a case... no vinyl hoods or cat-suits, g-strings, or cock-leashes, thank you very much... just a nice business suit for butlering, and jeans and a tight t-shirt for working in the yard (Yes, this would be purely for the enjoyment of our family members who would appreciate such things... gratuitous, yes, but not vulgar). I would also expect that the servant in question would understand that, were there to be any sexual 'reward' involved in hir service, that it would be attended to in the privacy of my room, outside of the eyes of the family, and preferably after everyone else had retired out of earshot for the night... but that's just me.

Calla



sirsholly -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:29:58 AM)

quote:

She says that she has been bringing slaves with her to the cottage for years and that everyone loves it. Long ago they just wrote it off as another thing that crazy Aunt Katie does and they've looked for the positive
Aunt Katie is sharing her kink with a child. 



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:32:34 AM)

I don't see where there's any harm in being of service on these levels. You're cleaning up, cooking and waiting on people. It's really not unethical to make pizza or fetch Cokes for a 13 year old along with other people. Your doing things like setting tables and making beds, where's the harm in that? I'm with Jeff on this one, does not sound like you're expected to take a strap-on or do anything illegal or extremely questionable.



AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:34:24 AM)

Hmmm what if they had a House Keeper? Is that sharing a Kink with a child?
What if they had a Butler? Is that?

I mean The fact that everyone knows that the sub in question is a Sub to Crazy Aunt Katie is just Disclousure, but unless they are taking the strap on in the ass I see nothing wrong with someone basically being a domestic for the weekend and people being served.

It's like saying that the waitress should not bring things to your table if there is a child there.

QSM



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:38:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
Aunt Katie is sharing her kink with a child. 

But is this really a kink or not here? If so then everybody who hires servants to do this tasks, is a deviant. Most of America has been corrupted by seeing Alice on the Brady Bunch.



LadyPact -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:39:24 AM)

Are you quite sure that the situation is that the youngest is the one who will also be giving the orders?

Here's how I see this if you would be in the position of doing something similar at such a gathering with Me. 

You would actually be in service to Me.  Not to anybody else.  It's not a free for all where every relative in the house has the ability to command you to do something and you obey.  What you may do in the course of being is service to Me may have a benefit to the others sharing the living space (such as doing the dishes) but that is under My control.  It's unlikely that I would relieve underage persons of their normal responsibilities, such as making their own bed, but people will have different opinions on that.

I really don't see this as any different as the way some of us have a way of raising children in our homes.  I have never seen clip as "in service" to any other member of My household except Me.  If something like a submissive doing the dishes is somehow exposing kids to D/s, I would love to know if people feel that way when it comes to their own families.



LadyCimarron -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:39:33 AM)

you are just being used as a domestic servant. You have mentioned nothing sexual or inappropriate for a child to see.  Its not like the sight of you washing dishes is going to adversely affect a minor. I say go for it, enjoy and learn from the experience.



sirsholly -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:42:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

Hmmm what if they had a House Keeper? Is that sharing a Kink with a child?
What if they had a Butler? Is that?

I mean The fact that everyone knows that the sub in question is a Sub to Crazy Aunt Katie is just Disclousure, but unless they are taking the strap on in the ass I see nothing wrong with someone basically being a domestic for the weekend and people being served.

It's like saying that the waitress should not bring things to your table if there is a child there.

QSM
If you want to "disclose" your kink, feel free, just not to a child.



sirsholly -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:44:50 AM)

quote:

Are you quite sure that the situation is that the youngest is the one who will also be giving the orders?

Here's how I see this if you would be in the position of doing something similar at such a gathering with Me.

You would actually be in service to Me. Not to anybody else. It's not a free for all where every relative in the house has the ability to command you to do something and you obey. What you may do in the course of being is service to Me may have a benefit to the others sharing the living space (such as doing the dishes) but that is under My control. It's unlikely that I would relieve underage persons of their normal responsibilities, such as making their own bed, but people will have different opinions on that.
it is not what he would be doing that is an issue, but rather that ol Aunt Katie shared her kink with a thirteen yr old. Sorry...unacceptable.




LadyCimarron -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:44:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

Hmmm what if they had a House Keeper? Is that sharing a Kink with a child?
What if they had a Butler? Is that?

It's like saying that the waitress should not bring things to your table if there is a child there.



I agree. If he worked for "merry maids" this would not even be a question.So why should it be an issue just because he is, in essence, a "friend" who likes to serve her in this way.

ALSO- there is a difference between a child "knowing" about a kink and a child "being exposed" to a kink. I think some of us forget that at times.



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:50:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Are you quite sure that the situation is that the youngest is the one who will also be giving the orders?

Here's how I see this if you would be in the position of doing something similar at such a gathering with Me. 

You would actually be in service to Me.  Not to anybody else.  It's not a free for all where every relative in the house has the ability to command you to do something and you obey.  What you may do in the course of being is service to Me may have a benefit to the others sharing the living space (such as doing the dishes) but that is under My control.  It's unlikely that I would relieve underage persons of their normal responsibilities, such as making their own bed, but people will have different opinions on that.

I really don't see this as any different as the way some of us have a way of raising children in our homes.  I have never seen clip as "in service" to any other member of My household except Me.  If something like a submissive doing the dishes is somehow exposing kids to D/s, I would love to know if people feel that way when it comes to their own families.



Quite so!

Calla



sirsholly -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:51:48 AM)

quote:

ALSO- there is a difference between a child "knowing" about a kink and a child "being exposed" to a kink. I think some of us forget that at times.
a 13 yr old knows and is exposed to whatever dynamic they display, and his submissive nature to Aunt Katie is displaying the dynamic.

The fact that this woman made a thirteen yr old aware of a BDSM dynamic is beyond my comprehension.

Would you sit around and discuss bondage, making a CHILD "aware" as opposed to "exposed"? If it were my kid, the person who did so would remove my stiletto from their ass right before they hit the curb.

It is the knowledge the child has that freaks me out. Otherwise, i would be telling the OP to go, have fun, and behave.



LadyPact -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:56:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly
it is not what he would be doing that is an issue, but rather that ol Aunt Katie shared her kink with a thirteen yr old. Sorry...unacceptable.

The amount of disclosure that Aunt Katie has with the thirteen year old is rather up in the air.  Nowhere in the original does it say that it's being presented as a kink.  Merely that Aunt Katie brings these folks along and they do the chores. 



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:57:49 AM)

quote:

it is not what he would be doing that is an issue, but rather that ol Aunt Katie shared her kink with a thirteen yr old. Sorry...unacceptable.


I'm not sure I see it as "sharing a kink" -- you see, our household's servants, even our paid ones when we've had those, have traveled with me, and I've shared with the family that I am "bringing a servant". The family doesn't know what terms this person serves under, and I don't share that information before the "little pictures" (for those who don't know the reference, it is a reference to children's overhearing of adult conversations.. the quote is "little pictures have big ears")... though it wouldn't surprise me to discover that some of my relatives haven't been quite so discrete... but a few of my adult relatives and friends (even some who have offspring) do know more about the life-choices I've made, and it's up to them whether or not they think it appropriate discussion to have around their own offspring.

I see this situation as less innocuous than having the youngsters in our family know that I'm bringing more than one of my mates to a family event, or bringing a mate of the same gender (because there is no way that those relationships are anything BUT intimate, so sharing that is specifically about the romantic/intimate details of my life). I see bringing a servant as a different issue entirely, as far as the family is concerned, and no different than if I were to bring my friend J, who happens to be a trained butler.

Calla



LadyCimarron -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 11:59:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ALSO- there is a difference between a child "knowing" about a kink and a child "being exposed" to a kink. I think some of us forget that at times.
a 13 yr old knows and is exposed to whatever dynamic they display.

The fact that this woman made a thirteen yr old aware of a BDSM dynamic is beyond my comprehension.

If you think a 13 year old hasn't heard of bdsm...........

Would you sit around and discuss bondage, making a CHILD "aware" as opposed to "exposed"? If it were my kid, the person who did so would remove my stiletto from their ass right before they hit the curb.

If I have a partner who serves me  and we are around my family, I would very well let everyone (children too) who was around me know that this is my partner and he serves me.

It is the knowledge the child has that freaks me out. Otherwise, i would be telling the OP to go, have fun, and behave.

The child is a teenager. They may be able to tell you a thing or two. But nevertheless, there is nothing inappropriate about telling a child of any age, this is my partner (insert- friend, sub, servant or any other descriptor) and he serves me. That does not expose a child to kink. It exposes a child to the fact that there are servants in this world.




laurell3 -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 12:01:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ALSO- there is a difference between a child "knowing" about a kink and a child "being exposed" to a kink. I think some of us forget that at times.
a 13 yr old knows and is exposed to whatever dynamic they display, and his submissive nature to Aunt Katie is displaying the dynamic.

The fact that this woman made a thirteen yr old aware of a BDSM dynamic is beyond my comprehension.

Would you sit around and discuss bondage, making a CHILD "aware" as opposed to "exposed"? If it were my kid, the person who did so would remove my stiletto from their ass right before they hit the curb.

It is the knowledge the child has that freaks me out. Otherwise, i would be telling the OP to go, have fun, and behave.


Holly if that were true, every child in the 50's in the typical household then would have been abused. Every child born into a marriage with one parent having more responsiblities and the balance of power is abused. This isn't unique to us. Unequal power balances exist all over the world and kids are raised to those relationships without issue.

I do agree the mother strung up in the bedroom next to a child's where they can hear or observe is wrong. I'm not getting the impression this is anything other than someone doing chore type service. It happens every day.



AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: Fuzzy Hard Limit? (6/22/2010 12:04:08 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

Hmmm what if they had a House Keeper? Is that sharing a Kink with a child?
What if they had a Butler? Is that?

I mean The fact that everyone knows that the sub in question is a Sub to Crazy Aunt Katie is just Disclousure, but unless they are taking the strap on in the ass I see nothing wrong with someone basically being a domestic for the weekend and people being served.

It's like saying that the waitress should not bring things to your table if there is a child there.

QSM
If you want to "disclose" your kink, feel free, just not to a child.



Are you telling me that a parent should not be honest with their own children?

A Butler is not a Kink.
A Maid is not a Kink.

If I own a slave, and my child will be around us then I feel they should have a basic understanding as to why we act differently than other people do.

And if my FAMILY is okay with me and with that disclosure then who the fuck are you to judge what WE do, you can get all high and mighty with your own family. What I do in my home is and with my family is up to me and them.

Condem me to hell all you want, I feel sorry for the confusion that a child who isn't given a discussion might have. It must look strange from the outside looking in.

Beyond that who is to say that the 13yo knows anything at all maybe they just see another person who does what is asked of them without complaint.

Seriously are you too busy looking down your nose to see a situation that isn't someone throwing a kink in a childs face...

Seriously.... get off it.

QSM



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