RE: High End Sub?

RE: High End Sub? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: High End Sub? (4/15/2006 12:20:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TNstepsout When it says compulsion, it doesn't mean there is NO choice. It simply means that ones own ability to choose is harder and becomes swallowed up in the face of that overwhelming hypnotic feeling of control being exerted by the Dominant. It's very much like a hypnotic suggestion. When hypnotized we have choice, hypnotists all say so, it's just that our desire to DO as suggested becomes greater. I agree with this, very much. When I was younger, I found myself drawn to naturally dominant people. I could never guite understand that feeling of compulsion I had to put their will above mine. As I became more aware of the consequences of doing so, I learned to keep that compulsion in check as much as possible. It was not easy, and yes, it felt like a mask. It confused me that people saw me as a dominant person; taking control was the last thing on earth I really wanted to do. So, yes, as Celeste pointed out, some of us don't really have a choice about submitting. Since this is the case we have to learn how to spot the person (or persons) we can wisely submit to. I don't know whether I am ready to label myself as H.E. sub, but parts of it rang very true to me; it was very interesting to read. Cin

BitaTruble -> RE: High End Sub? (4/15/2006 1:01:22 AM)
quote: What I ment was the thread was an interresting read. To see others thoughts on this type of subject... and I gotta tell ya... I agree with TN on this. Everyones pretty much wrapped in the title.... and not the rest of it... the meaning.... But looking back on your post Bita..... I see what you are saying to me.... huggggggggggggggggssssssssssssssssssss (always respected your post and humor... thanks for stearing me back to rereading yours) Oh, doh! Gee, I don't think I'm too much the center of the universe do I? ::giggles:: Got ya.. just throw me an apple, will ya? lol Celeste

mydestiny2043 -> RE: High End Sub? (4/15/2006 1:37:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: starymists quote: ORIGINAL: TNstepsout I'm going by what's in this article. I think what you are describing is something else. This particular article specifically says it's a compulsion. "When in the presence of an 'expressing' Dominant male or female this submissive will feel 'compelled' to respond. This is not a thought or voluntary choice. The best way I can describe it is on a primal or instinctive level. When I say 'expressing Dominant' I am describing any individual who is in the midst of a strongly emissive Dominant event." The article, I think, in some ways is misleading. That particular compulsion that is cited is in rsponse to specific stimuli that would suggest the Dominant might not be in control of him/her self at the time the compulsion to submit happens. "The submissive 'needs' the Dominant to stop . . . to control. In addition this submissive will often 'express' submission. No threat. Calm. The apparent intent is to deflect the Dominant energy, summon or return the Dominant to control of themselves. The interface of unexpected submissive energy will often 'shut down' the explosive or violent scene. Sometimes the submissive will go so far as to 'draw' the 'energy' of the Dominant and they may find themselves within the whirlpool of uncontrolled violence of a Dominant out of control. This reaction or response is irrational to many outside viewers. The article spends a great deal of time talking about the masks that a High End/High Need submissive wears without really talking about what is going on beneath the masks. As the article states, the mask is really an attempt at self-protection. It is an attempt that allows the high end/high need submissive remain in control of him or herself. But underneath the mask is the dual fear of being discovered for who and what they are, coupled with a deep desire to set that part of themselves free. "Their greatest fear and desire is to be recognized, properly identified." The article then goes on to explain how the internet makes a high end/high need submissive more vulnerable to that which they fear. But it never really talks about what it is they are hiding. Because I've know a number of people like this and because I've done the reading on this subject be happy to provide other articles discussing this in further depth for anyone interested I'm aware of what it is they are hiding. And that is an intensive vulnerability, an intensive need for reasurance, amongst other things...which was the frame of reference of my original post [;)] I would very much be interested other articles discussing this in further depth if your offer still stands[sm=book.gif]thanks[:)].

SparklyAltoGirl -> RE: High End Sub? (4/15/2006 7:51:23 AM)
This sounds very much like a submissive who may be suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder.

KatyLied -> RE: High End Sub? (4/15/2006 7:55:52 AM)
I think we need a thread about the "High End Dom" (yes, I am joking)

mysecret40 -> RE: High End Sub? (4/15/2006 8:18:37 AM)
[:)] ~~~nods head~~~agrees with Katy~! I have met many a Dom that fit this bill as well......their expectations high, but what they truly have to offer low. secret

MyCaptainsPet -> RE: High End Sub? (4/15/2006 8:56:15 AM)
i don't want to thread jack here... but what other kinds of submissives are there?????

AngelaK -> RE: High End Sub? (4/15/2006 9:25:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritualWater I feel a true submissive is exceptionally sophisticated ...skilled in the fine nuances of life ...is the desire, envied and respected by all who appreciate life's perfections and flaws and know how to separate all of it properly. A true submissive can stop an approach with only a simply glance and can reveal her want to be conquered with the whisper of just her breath. A true submissive is elegance defined possessing articulation extraordinaire ...she is the utter definition of woman and her place is with her perfect One ...she submits only to Him while the world submits to her. If this means that only high end submissives are true submissives in My view then so be it , Never should any who are True in Ds be anything less than exceptional. Guess I'm a false submissive. Because I'm more likely to walk up to you at a party and ask if you're in the mood to do something with that flogger?

AngelaK -> RE: High End Sub? (4/15/2006 9:43:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SparklyAltoGirl This sounds very much like a submissive who may be suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. Not really. " The symptoms of borderline patients are similar to those for which most people seek psychiatric help: depression, mood swings, the use and abuse of drugs and alcohol as a means of trying to feel better; obsessions, phobias, feelings of emptiness and loneliness, inability to tolerate being alone, problems about eating. But, in addition, borderlines show great difficulties in controlling ragefulness; they are unusually impulsive, they fall in and out of love suddenly; they tend to idealize other people and then abruptly despise them." http://www.bpdresourcecenter.org/what.htm

TNstepsout -> RE: High End Sub? (4/15/2006 10:16:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MyCaptainsPet i don't want to thread jack here... but what other kinds of submissives are there????? At this point you couldn't possibly hijack this thread any more than has already been done. It's a lost cause.

willowheart -> RE: High End Sub? (4/15/2006 10:17:39 AM)
nah... My ex and I had to take personality tests during a custody issue. No "Borderline Personality Disorder" for me. However, he was found to be Passive Aggressive and dealing with VietNam Vets syndrome.... I became his "subbie rock" and caretaker... Go figure! quote: ORIGINAL: SparklyAltoGirl This sounds very much like a submissive who may be suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder.

SpiritualWater -> RE: High End Sub? (4/15/2006 10:22:30 AM)
I doubt you're a false submissive, and I didn't mean to be arrogant sounding, I don't wish to be thought of that way. I simply feel that in Ds, we are genuine, we allow our most primal feeling to manifest and in that there is complete truth. But when one feels that Ds is not a realm of genuine nature, such as those who feel it is a place where they can act out a need to be abusive, then they're really not Ds. You can be exceptionally sophisticated by asking Me what I intend to do with that flogger if that is truly who you are and not merely an act. Perhaps I meant that people in Ds don't have to always love lifes finest to be high end, they just need to be honest, and when they are they likely will always improve by moving forward with eyes wide open even when wearing the most exquisite of blindfolds. And I agree with your comments about spanking. An elegant spanking from a caring true Dominant will take one to her deepest culmination of intensity and bonding with her One, and yes that is an act of love ...while a blunt beating is only the work of a hack who is NOT High End and only cares about his selfish needs. Isn't Ds really about giving or perhaps more accurately sharing ??? If W/we share W/we J/journey T/together and that means all W/we feel is experianced by B/both or as I prefer by O/one. That's My view of high end.

SpiritualWater -> RE: High End Sub? (4/15/2006 10:26:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mysecret40 [:)] ~~~nods head~~~agrees with Katy~! I have met many a Dom that fit this bill as well......their expectations high, but what they truly have to offer low. secret secret, do you think you can sense this in a potential Dom before you were to meet him ???

mons -> RE: High End Sub? (4/17/2006 4:18:49 AM)
greetings As a Domme iI find that many submissive do not know for sure what they may like. I think it is a learning process for both the Domme and the submissive. I try not to ask " oh what do you like " I alway began with what do you think you may like. Then I work toward what he says . Now this high end submissve, the only thing I have ran into is a submissive who thinks everyone wants to use him as a doormate, he has to prove he has been around for sometime and will take only the best Domme nothing less. I spoken to some who are like this and they are very high strung. They think if they pick you as their Domme your blessed to be chosen. I stay away from someone like, that to much work to be bother with. I like a submissive who knows he is worth having but does not make it a big issue. I have one more thing I am about to meet a new slave we have talked and have great times speaking but he is shy as I have never seen he is shy about what his limits are I have work on him letting me know what he needs and wants now the meeting. I hope it goes well he is a wondeful person and man! I will say this, this time I feel i will very lucky to have someone like this submissive he has my trust and he is honest. I think bragging about how long you been asubmissive and how much you know is not going to do it. Many Dommes like it different do not count submissives on what your last Domme love, and then think it will work on the new Domme we train each one different at each time. so Submissive remember it is not what you know as much as what you can relearn again. best wishes to all mons/jane

asiandoll27 -> RE: High End Sub? (4/18/2006 3:14:58 AM)
loves the term - wonders if its me :)

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875