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DarlingSavage -> RE: Age... (6/22/2010 6:47:09 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
quote:
ORIGINAL: laurell3
I don't care how old or young someone is as long as they have the tools to make a relationship successful and are compatible. Like any stereotype, it's foolish to assume anything based on age other than physiological differences. I know a helll of a lot of really immature 40-50 age range people that many 20 somethings have beat hands down on maturity and relationship skills.
As someone that is a parent of a very young adult, I would not approve of it if he brought home a 50 year old woman, why? I want him to find someone that there is the possibility of building a life with. My oldest brother married a woman my age when he was 18 and it was a huge mistake for him.
If I offer advice to someone about matters like this, it isn't because I think I know it all, but I do believe that in most cases that level of age difference between a teenager and their significant other is detrimental on average. On average most teenagers do not have the skills to engage in an intimate relationship with someone so much older than themselves, and I think it is wrong to have such a relationship with a teenager. Someone in their mid to late 20s, somewhat different, they are more established into adulthood....
People do what they are going to do, but in my experience with the people I have known that engaged in these relationships, and I have known a few (teenagers marrying people over 40), it did not end well. I have another friend who was a widow at 38 and because she couldn't deal with the death of her hubby that was 35 yrs older than her, they took her kids away.... she melted down. He told me before he died he thought he had made a mistake, he should have let her be and maybe she would have made a life with someone her own age. In some ways he said he felt like he had raised her.
Now perhaps you know of better ending stories, but to ignore the potential for abuse of power, the potential for a young person to invest emotionally in a relationship with no real future, etc etc etc, I do not think it is "judgmental" to advise against it, and I would advise my son against it... but only because I want what is best for him and I love him
Thank you, juliaoceania, you said everything I was trying to say much better than I was able to say it. That whole situation really gets to me, though, having been taken advantage of when I was a teenager, my emotions may have gotten the better of me, though, I don't think I was wrong. But that, along with your previous post on here, is exactly what I was trying to say.
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