RE: The Importance of Touch

RE: The Importance of Touch (Full Version)

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Zevar -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/24/2010 8:19:14 PM)
Greetings CD: Touch has a dualistic nature in that touch can be experienced as delightful within the right circumstances and interactions. From another viewpoint touch can also be revolting or unwanted or rather repulsive if it has been forced upon another. As far being a sensualist, well I could win an award for my excessive sensual ways. I have however over the years learned to express my sensual ways in a far more moderate manner as too much of anything that is desirous can form habits that are detrimental to personal self control if left unchecked. IMO the necessity of touch to the human is required for survival as it is a primal instinct for myself. Sensual touch can be expressed in a most delightful manner thus bringing about sensations that releases all of those wonderful endorphins. On the other hand any form of unwanted touch is the least of my desires. As I stated I am a sensual man without a doubt and with that being said I would add that I clearly prefer consensual touch in all instances. Feels so much more intense within the confines of mutual consent, IMO.

chamberqueen -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/24/2010 8:41:58 PM)
I think it is extremely important, whether from the top or the bottom, to treat our partner as an individual in all ways - including touch. Sometimes the way someone wants to be touched depends on their mood at the time, and one can learn the small signals that go along with that.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/24/2010 8:43:51 PM)
~Fast Reply~ i love to touch and i love to be touched. i can't live without it, but it makes a difference who's doing the touching, where, and in what context. However, i never assume that someone else likes to be touched in a certain way or even touched at all. i'm a very huggy person, but i always ask first before hugging anyone else. That's something that needs to be communicated. i also love to give full-body-massages, if there is a willing recipient. ~sweetsub~

LadyPact -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/24/2010 8:49:03 PM)
I'll step up to the plate. I am a touch person. Definitely a hugger. If you haven't told Me differently and you're a friend, you don't get a handshake. You get a hug. Yet another reason that I would make a terrible bottom/sub/pick a term. If I don't trust you, don't even THINK of walking up behind Me and touching Me on My back. I'll be nice to you about it, but I won't be happy. Ever want to know who I trust in My life? Those are the folks who can do that and I'm still smiling. (As an aside, were there really folks using the term "Love Languages" before the book came out?)

LadyHibiscus -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/24/2010 8:54:29 PM)
I really do not like to be touched. Most folks I don't even want in my personal space. The ones that can touch me? Pretty much have carte blanche!! It's a short list. [8D]

sunshinemiss -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/25/2010 3:13:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Zevar Greetings CD: Touch has a dualistic nature in that touch can be experienced as delightful within the right circumstances and interactions. From another viewpoint touch can also be revolting or unwanted or rather repulsive if it has been forced upon another. As far being a sensualist, well I could win an award for my excessive sensual ways. I have however over the years learned to express my sensual ways in a far more moderate manner as too much of anything that is desirous can form habits that are detrimental to personal self control if left unchecked. IMO the necessity of touch to the human is required for survival as it is a primal instinct for myself. Sensual touch can be expressed in a most delightful manner thus bringing about sensations that releases all of those wonderful endorphins. On the other hand any form of unwanted touch is the least of my desires. As I stated I am a sensual man without a doubt and with that being said I would add that I clearly prefer consensual touch in all instances. Feels so much more intense within the confines of mutual consent, IMO. Ummmm Zevar? Have you seen the panties thread? I think your contribution would make some folks ... touch... you know... themselves....... *not me of course. I'm a gooooooooooood girl!

allthatjaz -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/25/2010 5:02:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I'll step up to the plate. I am a touch person. Definitely a hugger. If you haven't told Me differently and you're a friend, you don't get a handshake. You get a hug. I was beginning to think that perhaps it was just us Europeans! I always embrace a friend. What I have noticed is, if your from in and around London, which is very cosmopolitan, you tend to be a hugger but the further north you go the more standoffish people seem to be. As for touching my partner or him touching me, I can't really see what this has to do with ttwd unless its about portraying dominance and submission. I can't be bothered with that. If our submissive thought we were less dominant because we like to caress her, stroke her hair or just give her a good old cuddle, we would be with the wrong submissive! Steve and me cuddle and touch each other all the time. We even sleep nose to nose wrapped in each others arms. We resemble twins in a womb! we just can't get close enough. His touch, no matter how gentle or how firm has never irritated me and I know its the same for him. Recently I was unwell and he sat by my bed and stroked my skin and hair for hours. Just feeling him there and knowing he needed to reach out and touch me was the most loving and comfortable feeling.

BonesFromAsh -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/25/2010 5:35:25 AM)
I'm the first to admit I'm a touchy-feely person. A hug, hand-holding, arm-in-arm...even the dreaded "airy-fairy" gentle strokes....love to give and recieve them all. I don't see this so much as a dominant/submissive thing but more a sensual thing, for me atleast, although it can be used in that context. I love to give the light airy touches/strokes on the arm, the back, the face...anywhere. It gives me chills as the stroker and usually gives pleasure to the strokee. [;)] I've been in relationships...both mainstream and with D/s undertones...where I would physically feel sick or feel pain if I wasn't able to connect with my partner through touch. Those relationships were doomed to failure because, in large part, of the lack of touch. In the D/s sense....I had one dominant partner who understood this touch thing so well that he would use it as punishment if needed. I was always told that to be in hell actually meant to be separated from the physical presence of g*d (yeah, he had a bit of a superiority complex). That was my time in hell.

splorff -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/25/2010 5:37:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Physical touch is a "love language" to me and the how and why of it is very important and I am very very specific about how I want it done. Try this, ask your playmate to stand behind you. Have them place their finger pads on your temples and gently make circular motions with them. Close your eyes. It is the most relaxing thing I ever found.

domiguy -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/25/2010 5:57:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: splorff quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Physical touch is a "love language" to me and the how and why of it is very important and I am very very specific about how I want it done. Try this, ask your playmate to stand behind you. Have them place their finger pads on your temples and gently make circular motions with them. Close your eyes. It is the most relaxing thing I ever found. Try this, ask your playmate to stand behind you. Tell them to shut the fuck up until the game is over. It is the most relaxing thing I ever found.

domiguy -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/25/2010 6:01:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Physical touch is a "love language" to me and the how and why of it is very important and I am very very specific about how I want it done. How interesting. I'm not fussy about HOW it is done... but I AM fussy with whom. I actually dropped out of ballroom dancing classes because they insisted on swapping dance partners and I found other women in my arms... even just in dance frame... to be very annoying. lol. Very funny.

heartcream -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/25/2010 6:10:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Zevar Greetings CD: Touch has a dualistic nature in that touch can be experienced as delightful within the right circumstances and interactions. From another viewpoint touch can also be revolting or unwanted or rather repulsive if it has been forced upon another. As far being a sensualist, well I could win an award for my excessive sensual ways. I have however over the years learned to express my sensual ways in a far more moderate manner as too much of anything that is desirous can form habits that are detrimental to personal self control if left unchecked. IMO the necessity of touch to the human is required for survival as it is a primal instinct for myself. Sensual touch can be expressed in a most delightful manner thus bringing about sensations that releases all of those wonderful endorphins. On the other hand any form of unwanted touch is the least of my desires. As I stated I am a sensual man without a doubt and with that being said I would add that I clearly prefer consensual touch in all instances. Feels so much more intense within the confines of mutual consent, IMO. What does this mean? I like touch. I have a loving touch I have been told. Learning about someone, how they like/dont like things is always good to know.

VirginPotty -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/25/2010 7:02:16 AM)
Caress yes Touch not so much. It's nice for a short while then I'll shrug you off/move away. Same with sleeping arrangements.....it's nice to "cuddle" w/him for a bit but then I move over when he falls asleep. I can only sleep well alone.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/25/2010 7:28:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VirginPotty Caress yes Touch not so much. It's nice for a short while then I'll shrug you off/move away. Same with sleeping arrangements.....it's nice to "cuddle" w/him for a bit but then I move over when he falls asleep. I can only sleep well alone. Yep. Funny thing is, I am ALWAYS touching other people! It's one of the truly awesome things about being a female dominant, I can just molesticate pretty much any man I fancy and they totally soak it up. Sluts! [:)]

CreativeDominant -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/25/2010 7:51:13 AM)
I thank everyone for their responses so far. Just as the conversation got my mind going, so did some of the posts... I am an affectionate, sentimental person. Too much of one/both for some... not enough of one/either for others. As a sensualist, I love being touched and experiencing the tactile sensation of MY hands on a girl. However...perhaps because of the time I have spent on my own when I was in the service and in school and going through my divorce and etc....I can do without touch for quite awhile. Perhaps the basic need to touch is satisfied by the work I do on patients and by the hugs I get daily from one or several of them and that makes it easier to go for a longer period without touching someone of importance to me. Perhaps it is my age or being able to direct part of that energy into other areas besides the patients. None of that means I don't miss it. I miss being touched in an intimate fashion. One of the reasons I miss certain people so much is the fact that some DID take the time to learn how to touch me and one of them, as noted in my primary post, made it important enough to her to do those touches as often as time allowed when we were together. But I won't go out and seek someone based solely, or even largely, on a need to be touched. For me, part of the need to touch someone comes about from what I feel about people. There is more than one submissive on this site that I would like to touch intimately...big surprise there, I know, given that I am male and I am dominant. But the WAYS in which I'd like to touch them intimately, the length of time I'd like to spend touching them, and...to bring it back to the topic of this thread...the way I'd like them to touch Me varies greatly because they each have differing places in my heart and mind and soul, as mentioned on another thread. As for touch being a love language...not so sure I agree. It is definitely an "emotion" language but that emotion is not always love.

PrimalConsonance -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/25/2010 8:20:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant A very brief conversation left me pondering something and I am curious about how others, especially dominants, feel about it. Touch is important to me. I think it is for most dominants as we watch and listen to how the submissive we are with responds to our touch during play. As dominants, we watch and listen to how our partner, romantic and/or otherwise, responds to our touch and we learn from that and hold on to it. We use that knowledge to repeat, or in some instances, withhold certain touches at certain times to enhance, prolong, challenge an experience for a submissive... to tease, please, frustrate, excite her. But how about us? I've learned through the years that certain aspects of touch bothered me but I really did not coalesce them until I spent time conversing and exploring with a submissive last year about touch WHY certain touches bother me or make me happy or arouse me. And I learned it because it was important to her to learn how to touch me. Seems like a simple thing but in many ways it was not. Example: I NEVER liked having fingers drawn quickly and lightly back and forth over my nipple or quick, light "airy-fairy" scratching anywhere on me. I knew I didn't like it but it was not until conversations with her and exploring with her that I discovered why...it makes me antsy. It makes me irritable. It makes me feel like the "bottom" partner. Slow stroking does just the opposite. Enlightenment. What say the rest of you dominants? Is how you are touched important to you or is this just for the sensualists among us? Submissives? Do you find it important to find out how each dominant likes being touched or do you assume that he experiences things the same way any other male does and you reserve that special exploration for a "special" dominant? Touch is a very VERY important part of just about everything I do in and out of play. It is a form of communication that I not only give, but also respond to. When I sleep, I find that I naturally have to have some sort of touch throughout the night with my sub. I am known for reaching out and drawing her in close to me, if she happens to get up for some reason during the night (I'm not awake really when this occurs usually, or I'd remember it more clearly). I like physical affection, and grew up with touch in my life; so it's practically a part of my nature. I'm a sensualist, and I look for touch as well. Being one of the senses, and the skin being the largest organ with all it's wonderful nerve-endings and complexities; touch is one the best forms of non-verbal communication, and sensations at even more complex levels. I caress and kiss as I give pain...I watch for the subtle changes when I play with my submissive that let me know where she's at physically and emotionally. And when I receive touches during that time (or anytime for that matter...apparently I'm always starved for some touch), it does some wonderful things to me. Sometimes I just want to caress, but end up accidentally getting a tickle-response from her making her flinch or jump (which at times is wonderful, but other times unwanted or not what I was looking for), so I at times need to be more careful where I put these big "butcher's hands" at on her. But all-in-all, I vote "YES" on touch! Very important and always welcome.

LaserKitty -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/25/2010 9:33:06 AM)
I'm a hugger. When I am with someone I care about, I often do touching.. a hand on the shoulder as I walk past them if they are sitting, holding their hand as we walk, etc. To me, it's an outward expression of the mental/emotional connection we share. That being said.. I agree with the person that said a bit of cuddling in bed is good, but then GTFO of me!! LOL

SirsJewel -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/25/2010 10:48:39 AM)
i agree strongly with your reply, i have this problem with Master,that if He is impassive towards me i lose my motivation somewhat and the rest feels stunted,like He's not enjoying me. W/we both are not touchy/feely people to begin with,but add that a lack of response at times(yes the erection thing is an indicator/but not all of it) and i just feel as though that session did not go as well as it could. i will most definately bring this post to Him to read and hopefully W/we will discuss and work on this sensitive area, Thanks as well to the OP ~ jewels

bliss4us09 -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/25/2010 11:46:32 AM)
It does matter to me - and for that reason it's important to teach what I like and what I don't like.

KnightofMists -> RE: The Importance of Touch (6/25/2010 11:47:22 AM)
Touch is extremely important to me. Of course not all touches are equal. But, Touches to me are more valuable than words. I can hear from my girls that they love me... but their touch from them is far more communiitive of their love than their words could ever be. I love to touch and I love to be touched. However, even though I have strong feelings about touching... I do and have use this as an avenue to enforce and validate my authority. To impede my girls from touching me sends a very strong message depending on why I am impeding it. They know that for me to impede touching the intense of my reasons are going to be very very strong. Just the same facilitating their ability to touch me is an opportunity for them to give me please and show their desire to do so.

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