Gambling and Domination (Full Version)

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mathiasdomm -> Gambling and Domination (4/13/2006 5:06:39 PM)

I play a lot of poker, usually for relatively large sums of money both online and in r/t.  Because I'm a full time student, my poker winnings constitute about half of my total yearly income. It's more than a hobby, but I'm profitable (about $24 an hour on average), play what I can afford, and am disciplined in my risk and aggression.  A sub recently said that this was a problem for her because it showed a penchant for gambling, addiction, risk taking, and a whole host of other character flaws that she's not comfortable with in a dom.  She also had qualms with the life style it lends itself to, mainly the being out late at night. 

I respect her argument, but I'm wondering if this is a fear shared by other people in the lifestyle.  Looking forward to your responses.

-m



slavejali -> RE: Gambling and Domination (4/13/2006 5:22:07 PM)

I think any type of addictive behavior can be self-destructive and not good for relationship...within D/s is a bit hard for someone to master anyone else when they haven't mastered themselves. I don't know if you addicted to gambling but the scenario your describing wouldnt appeal to me if I was a slave looking for a Master.



starymists -> RE: Gambling and Domination (4/13/2006 5:59:42 PM)

I wonder what would happen if say, you went on a loosing streak and wasn't making an average of $24 an hour any more. That is a potential risk, because, to some extent, you're basing your financial stability on your knowledge, your skill, but also to luck. And while that may not be a problem for you, I do think for some, it will appear somewhat unstable, but in my opinion, no less unstable than someone who, say, depends on tips to meet their budget, because that too, has an element of risk.
 
That being said, is what you're doing addictive? Only you can answer that. Most people, in the beginning of an addiction, don't recognize the signs of addiction, and really don't start to see the signs until they are too late. Here are some things to consider if you think you might have a problem:
  1. Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling?
  2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?
  3. Did gambling affect your reputation?
  4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?
  5. Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties?
  6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?
  7. After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses?
  8. After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more?
  9. Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone?
  10. Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?
  11. Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling?
  12. Were you reluctant to use "gambling money" for normal expenditures?
  13. Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family?
  14. Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned?
  15. Have you ever gambled to escape worry or trouble?
  16. Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling?
  17. Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
  18. Do arguments, disappointments, or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?
  19. Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?
  20. Have you ever considered self destruction or suicide as a result of your gambling?

The general rule is 7 or more yes, you should seek professional evaluation/treatment. If these aren't issues for you, then I wouldn't worry about it. If you are saying yes, but to 2, 3, 4 then I'd be taking a look at my behavior.



Evanesce -> RE: Gambling and Domination (4/13/2006 8:43:21 PM)

If your poker playing takes priority over everything else in your life, then I'd have a problem with it, too.  If it's kept in perspective (and let's be realistic... while your current winning streak is reasonably impressive, very few people are actually skilled enough to make a living playing poker), and you can still take care of everyday responsibilities, then I don't see a problem with it. 
 
I think those who won't accept your poker playing are probably women who are uncomfortable with the risky lifestyle professional poker offers.  One day you're up, and the next you could be on the street.  And the older we get, the less acceptable that risk becomes.
 



Arpig -> RE: Gambling and Domination (4/13/2006 9:59:09 PM)

I think life itself is enough of a gamble, why on earth add to it.



LadyJulieAnn -> RE: Gambling and Domination (4/14/2006 5:25:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mathiasdomm

I play a lot of poker, usually for relatively large sums of money both online and in r/t.  Because I'm a full time student, my poker winnings constitute about half of my total yearly income. It's more than a hobby, but I'm profitable (about $24 an hour on average), play what I can afford, and am disciplined in my risk and aggression.  A sub recently said that this was a problem for her because it showed a penchant for gambling, addiction, risk taking, and a whole host of other character flaws that she's not comfortable with in a dom.  She also had qualms with the life style it lends itself to, mainly the being out late at night. 

I respect her argument, but I'm wondering if this is a fear shared by other people in the lifestyle.  Looking forward to your responses.

-m



I don't think the real issue is gambling, but more the limitations that your lifestyle imposes.  Just like any workaholic, if you spend more time "working" and give less time to family or non-work activites, issues arise and relationships tend to fall apart.
 
Be well,
Julie



kisshou -> RE: Gambling and Domination (4/14/2006 5:39:21 AM)

I used to feel this way until the Owner got me addicted to watching the world series of poker. I now know that some people have this as a profession. They are not all gambling addicts as alot of major religions have taught children. It is more like professional sport, not like betting and broken kneecaps. If you really like this girl you should try to educate her.



OldAvatar -> RE: Gambling and Domination (4/14/2006 5:58:04 AM)

To the subs/slaves: Would you be just as leary of a successful day stock trader as a successful poker player? Or maybe a commodities trader? Perhaps a commissioned salesperson?



acctonthelook -> RE: Gambling and Domination (4/14/2006 6:10:58 AM)

I read that you're also in school full-time, which shows that you are trying to obtain some sort of stability in your chosen path.

Yes you need to take a serious look at the possible addiction part because you seem proud of the present $24/ hr factor.  Which I would start saving it if you do want to become a professional gambler. 

Yes many ppl have this profession but I agree the older one gets the more important financial stability will play a factor in their lives and their loved ones.

Hint: $24/hr (if your lucky) will not support a family long term with inflation, lol.  Well you may eat but you may not have the home, vacations, decent clothes on your family, dependable family cars, or give them their education, and anything else really important in life.

Are you wanting to be a self proclaimed bachelor? 

Keep going to school, finish your education, get a good career.  JMHO



RaceBannon -> RE: Gambling and Domination (4/15/2006 4:47:20 PM)

At the end of the year if you lose money, you are an out of control gambler and a crappy card player.

At the end of the year if you win BIG  money, YOU DA MAN!



Wildfleurs -> RE: Gambling and Domination (4/15/2006 5:07:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mathiasdomm

I play a lot of poker, usually for relatively large sums of money both online and in r/t.  Because I'm a full time student, my poker winnings constitute about half of my total yearly income. It's more than a hobby, but I'm profitable (about $24 an hour on average), play what I can afford, and am disciplined in my risk and aggression.  A sub recently said that this was a problem for her because it showed a penchant for gambling, addiction, risk taking, and a whole host of other character flaws that she's not comfortable with in a dom.  She also had qualms with the life style it lends itself to, mainly the being out late at night. 

I respect her argument, but I'm wondering if this is a fear shared by other people in the lifestyle.  Looking forward to your responses.

-m



Personally for me its a function of preferences.  I have zero interest in gambling, it just feels like I might as well flush money down a toilet.  I tried going to a casino once and it was just literally nauseating.  So I just wouldn't mesh well with someone who enjoyed gambling, even if it was just a side hobby that wasn't an addiction.  Its not so much a character flaw issue for me, just a preference on ways to spend time and money.

C~



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