What's in it for you?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

What's in it for you?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> What's in it for you?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

What's in it for you? - 4/13/2006 5:21:30 PM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

Hi subs and slaves.
A recent theme I am seeing on lifestyle forums is the questioning of what a submissive or slave gets out of a lifestyle relationship IN THE LONG TERM. I am very curious what you seek as an "ideal" once you find perfect Dom and you've been together 25 years.

When I entered the lifestyle, that goal was service and pleasing, but now, 20-some years later, it seems I've been a bit out of touch and the goals have changed. I'm not saying that's a good or bad thing either way. I just think I should probably, as a Dominant Woman searching out a sub/slave, stay "up-to-date" on what submissives and slaves have as long term goals to feel comfortable in a compatible relationship.

That was kind of wordy... did I manage to get the question across? lol

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: What's in it for you? - 4/13/2006 5:27:25 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Yes, you got it out in a well spoken manner.

Service and pleasing remain cornerstones. But most of all, what I define as meaningful domination - that is what I want to build on. A power exchange that is real and true. It is beyond the bedroom and is apparent in my life, in general. I want someone to help me with a plan in my life, to help me get through my struggles, in life and especially in those areas where submission may be difficult for me. I want to meet his needs, but I also want my needs to be met as well. That's what it means to be in a thriving relationship.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: What's in it for you? - 4/13/2006 5:28:15 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

To create a "history" together so that we can reflect back on our life when we are old with a smile. Just be as comfortable together as an old shoe fits. In case these needs to be said....that the M/s dynamic stay as the undercurrent of our relationship even when we have arthritis and he can no longer play with me *grin*

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: What's in it for you? - 4/13/2006 5:41:06 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

For me it is a simple matter that in my relationship with alandra and my Lord I get to demonstrate my authentic self on a daily basis. I am me and I am loved and accepted for it, not for who they wish me to be but who I am. I have no other relationships in my life where I can just be me.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: What's in it for you? - 4/13/2006 5:49:58 PM

starymists

Posts: 139
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline

Kyra and Jali, nicely said! So, yea, what they said.

For me, I'm starting to feel some age. My hair has some white *yes, stark white against an almost black and you can't miss it if I don't color it every 3-4 weeks*...I am starting to see the first wrinkles in my face. And you know, it doesn't matter. My Dominant accepts me for what I bring to the table. In spite of the things I look at and see as flaws. He allows me to be fully me, without judgement, without fear of reprisal. He encourages me to be all that I can be, is beside me to give a helping hand when I can't quite reach by myself. He gives me a contentment and a peace that I've never known before. And in the coming years, if that is the extent of what we build, and somehow, I can't see us not deepening and growing closer, but even if this is all we'd ever have, it would be enough today, tomorrow and into our forever.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: What's in it for you? - 4/13/2006 8:37:57 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

To me the simplest answer would be just that, the 20-25 year relationship of service and pleasing..what more could one ask?...be well..Tempting

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: What's in it for you? - 4/13/2006 8:50:10 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

A recent theme I am seeing on lifestyle forums is the questioning of what a submissive or slave gets out of a lifestyle relationship IN THE LONG TERM. I am very curious what you seek as an "ideal" once you find perfect Dom and you've been together 25 years.

For myself, it's to become so attuned to Him that He no longer even needs to speak, and I will know what He wants from me. It's to be so comfortable with each other and with ourselves that just "being" Master and slave is no longer something we have to work at to maintain the relationship dynamic. It's to have our household and our lives running so smoothly that "stress" is no longer in our vocabulary.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: What's in it for you? - 4/14/2006 7:58:15 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

Hi subs and slaves.
A recent theme I am seeing on lifestyle forums is the questioning of what a submissive or slave gets out of a lifestyle relationship IN THE LONG TERM. I am very curious what you seek as an "ideal" once you find perfect Dom and you've been together 25 years.

I was with my previous owner for 18 years. After all that time yes the service and submission were still there. What was I looking for then, the same thing most people in any committed relationship are.

“Grow old with me; the best is yet to be”

After much searching I am again in a collar to two people I love. What am I looking for now? Exactly the same thing. To live, laugh, serve, and be cared for, to grow together as individuals and as a family.

To age in a graceful manner in submission to the Dominants I love.

In reality the same things people want even in a vanilla relationship, to love and be loved for who and what I am unreservedly until the end of my days.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Profile

Post #: 8