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finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 7:55:31 AM   
gonnauseu


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/18/2010
Status: offline 		im kinda new to all this. i am looking for my first slave. anyone got any pointers? im not having much luck. i have been looking for about 6 months.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 8:01:06 AM   
cinmin


Posts: 31
Joined: 7/24/2004
Status: offline 		If you are that new perhaps you should just be trying to learn rather than searching for a slave. You should Master yourself before trying to Master someone else. Find a local group and become involved in it. Look for play partners or Mentors to learn from.

Just my 2 cents worth.

(in reply to gonnauseu)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 8:03:17 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		First, do a search for this topic, as it's covered often.

Secondly, be yourself, and treat it as if you were looking for a vanilla woman. (in other words, put your best foot forward.)

Take your time, and remember that you're looking for a person, not a thing to fulfill your kinks.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to gonnauseu)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 8:07:30 AM   
Wantstocontrolu


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/11/2008
Status: offline 		Patience, it may take yeats.
You will find that which you seek when you least expect it.

Get involved in your local community.

(in reply to gonnauseu)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 8:21:44 AM   
SirNomdeplume


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/15/2010
Status: offline 		All very good advice. I spen several years learning to be a good Master and several more before I found a slave to collar.

(in reply to Wantstocontrolu)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 8:22:25 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		You're not ready for a slave. Meet people and see if you click with a sub. Later on, you may want to transition to M/s.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Wantstocontrolu)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 8:33:09 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wantstocontrolu

Patience, it may take yeats.
You will find that which you seek when you least expect it.

Get involved in your local community.


Here's some Yeats to help ya out:


TO A YOUNG GIRL
by: W. B. Yeats (1865-1939)

      Y dear, my dear, I know
      More than another
      What makes your heart beat so;
      Not even your own mother
      Can know it as I know,
      Who broke my heart for her
      When the wild thought,
      That she denies
      And has forgot,
      Set all her blood astir
      And glittered in her eyes.

(in reply to Wantstocontrolu)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 8:33:31 AM   
Ishtarr


Posts: 1130
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline 		*sigh*

I just posted this on a different topic, but seeing that it applies here too...:

Well, I've read through the profile and like so many other profiles on here, it just left me shaking my head.
 
So... you want a slave girl... good... nearly every male Dom on this site wants the same, join the club.

The thing that leaves me wondering on if you're going to find her though is this: why?

Why would a girl want to be your slave?
What do you have to offer her?
What makes you different than every other male Dom looking for the same thing as you are?

Why YOU and not the next guy?

You give no information whatsoever on what SHE is getting out of this, other than that she'll have the privilege of being your slave.

Hoorah!

If that's all a girl needed to beg a collar from a man then ANY man would do...
Seriously, it's not because you're looking for a slave that suddenly it becomes ALL about you.
Really... it doesn't become ALL about you until AFTER you've got that collar around her neck.

Prior to that, you are still courting a... WOMAN.
Not a slave, but a woman.

You are still trying to convince HER that you are the right guy for her.
That you're better than the next guy.
That you're different than the next guy.
That's YOU are going to make HER feel special.

If you can't do that, then sorry dude, she IS going to move on to the next guy who CAN make her feel special...

Might wanna think about that a little and make some adjustments to your profile...



< Message edited by Ishtarr -- 6/25/2010 8:39:59 AM >

_____________________________


Du blutest für mein Seelenheil
Ein kleiner Schnitt und du wirst geil
Egal, erlaubt ist, was gefällt

Ich tu' dir weh.
Tut mir nicht Leid!
Das tut dir gut.
Hör wie es schreit!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 8:38:02 AM   
cinmin


Posts: 31
Joined: 7/24/2004
Status: offline 		Well said Ishtarr!! Why do so many just not get that?

(in reply to Ishtarr)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 8:59:12 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		All very good points.

As it's been stated above, this very topic comes up so often that I end up wanting to reply, "Please take ticket number 1,284,761 and welcome to Collar Me". 

In the six months that you have been on the site, what have you learned about being a Master?  Are you improving your education about M/s dynamics or about BDSM?  Have you used the site as a tool for meeting people and exploring what can be found here?

It's not enough to just sign up here and say you want a slave.  Please read Ishtarr's post again.  Do some self reflection in what she's written.


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 6/25/2010 9:00:03 AM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to cinmin)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 9:03:31 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		This is a joke right? You're not experienced but you're not a rookie. Okay. You like them obedient and young. Okay. Six months? Okay!

Dude, I'm sorry but what the hell are you thinking? I used to get the biggest laugh when I bartended and there would be this really old guy and not a pretty boy sitting at the bar talking about the collage age group women who were the type that only a pretty boy could get and yet the bugger thought he could take one or two home with him with no effort other than to buy them a drink and tell them he wanted to fuck them. They really believed they could do it, no matter how many times they got turned down. It amazed me that they couldn't look in a mirror, couldn't see how they didn't show any class or intellgence and just expected that those young babe's would follow, roll over and do their funny little cocks. I still shake my head on it.

If you can't use capital letters, put a sentence together, show you are something worth not being a pretty boy and young stud or have a winning personality, what makes you think you can find somebody in even a couple years?

And I thought my dementia was bad. Get a clue and if we really have to give you one... you better learn to be very patient.


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to cinmin)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 9:04:52 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Wouldn't it be pretty to think that the newly self-appointed doms would do so?

Some will, and succeed. Most won't (I'd wager) and wonder why they're not finding what they want.

ETA: Ishtarr's posts (and her WONDERFUL profile) just slay me. They are so well thought out and eloquently stated, it makes me want to steal them. *sigh*

< Message edited by xxblushesxx -- 6/25/2010 9:06:21 AM >

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 9:46:49 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Fine, Christina. You take her quotes, and I'll take the rest of her.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 10:18:06 AM   
Ishtarr


Posts: 1130
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks ya'll.

Well, Steven, I AM flying to Denver in couple of hours (IF can find a fucking way to fit all the clothes I want to take in my bag), and I've got your phone number saved in case we have the time to go have a couple of drinks with you.

I doubt it will happen this weekend, but seeing that all his family live in Denver, I'm sure we'll be back on a more relaxed weekend.




_____________________________


Du blutest für mein Seelenheil
Ein kleiner Schnitt und du wirst geil
Egal, erlaubt ist, was gefällt

Ich tu' dir weh.
Tut mir nicht Leid!
Das tut dir gut.
Hör wie es schreit!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 10:18:13 AM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wantstocontrolu

Patience, it may take yeats.
You will find that which you seek when you least expect it.

Get involved in your local community.


Here's some Yeats to help ya out:


TO A YOUNG GIRL
by: W. B. Yeats (1865-1939)

      Y dear, my dear, I know
      More than another
      What makes your heart beat so;
      Not even your own mother
      Can know it as I know,
      Who broke my heart for her
      When the wild thought,
      That she denies
      And has forgot,
      Set all her blood astir
      And glittered in her eyes.



I saw that, too!  You beat me to it!  You smart girl, you!


_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 10:19:49 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		you'd be fucked if Elizabeth Barrett Browning wasn't in the mix.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to DarlingSavage)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 11:18:53 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Not to mention that bastard Shelly!

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 11:42:50 AM   
cassandria


Posts: 86
Joined: 6/6/2010
Status: offline 		Ishtarr, thank you.

~~~

To the OP...

If you share nothing of yourself, we tend to give the same.

If what you share is perceived as negative, you will get the same.

You're in a large ocean, with many other big fish.

And they're all hunting.

You have to know your prey/prize, to be a successful hunter.





(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 12:40:09 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		I start all introductory e-mails "On your knees and suck, worthlessbitchslutcuntwhoreslave."
*Shrugs*
Works for me

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to cassandria)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: finding my first slave - 6/25/2010 12:45:26 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		Many folks have recommended the following thread as a good starting point:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/tm.htm

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 20
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