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barelynangel -> RE: Sub with one leg. (6/27/2010 5:27:08 AM)
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wandersalone and holly,
Wandersalone, i do apologize to an extent because i missed the the words "the title". I thought you were referring to his mentioning it in the post as a whole.
i do get what you both are saying, however, i know people who have one limb missing and they don't mind that people identify them by what they deem their uniqueness, especially when they can't use their name or are trying to describe them. They aren't "crippled" by having one limb missing and its a BIG part of why they are unique. Yes, some people are and they look at people with one limb or a disability as something that "you don't mention." Some people don't like it to be the "elephant in the room." They are proud of who they are and have embraced their one-limbness. Because its a part of them and on many levels it has helped make them who they have become. What i was getting at is no one here knows how SHE felt about it -- except him. For all we know, she embraced having one leg but didn't realize she could do what she did and so her having one leg and enjoying herself and him as described was a big part of why it was so cool for her and him. Maybe that one leg missing was why it was such a positive experience.
Its funny, i knew 3 people in HS who were missing limbs and 2 more in college, and a couple who were friends throughout my life - seems a lot to me compared to other people. And they hated it when people acted like it wasn't something to speak about. They didn't like it being tiptoed around. To them it wasn't insenstive to state the obvious as a description of who they were. To me, people who have a limb missing are unique and different, they should be allowed to celebrate that difference without pity or people acting as if speaking about it is a no no or commenting on it by stating the obvious in a description of them is somehow going to hurt them.
There are some people who would be negatively effected by someone referring to them as same, yes. But until you know if someone is, to put all in the same position of uncomfortableness, sensitiveness or such because people state the obvious about them to me is as insensitive as you believe him mentioning it as a description of her.
Sometimes people focus too much on finding something insensitive or wrong due to disabilities or disfigurement when its not an issue for the person with same, because of the people having their own uncomfortableness And what i learned from these people in my life is they don't care for when people project their uncomfortableness onto them. Its like people act like the people with the disability or disfigurment don't know when they should feel like someone was insensitive to them etc, so they have to speak up for them. It's a classic case of someone who is seen as disabled or such, need to be taken care of because THEY see a disability or disfigurment. (Words from one of my friends who actually was very frustrated with one of his co-workers speaking for him).
All in all, unless you actually know the person, maybe -- just maybe -- you are projecting your own uncomfortableness becuase of the indicated disability or disfigurment, rather than trusting that he would know what she would and would not except and what he posted and titled same was fine for her? MAYBE it wasn't and she doesn't know. Maybe he hasn't told her so he has no clue if she would appreciate it or feel uncomfortable with it. In situations like this, we have to trust that he knows her and what she would accept better than strangers on a message board.
He indicated earlier he deliberately titles the post as is because he wanted people to read it and felt with a norman non-original title, many people wouldn't. For the average joe, a one-legged sub is a uniqueness that it would probably draw more interest than met a great sub.
angel
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