cassandria
Posts: 86
Joined: 6/6/2010
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quote:
i am most curious where Y/ou all have found Y/our knowledge on BDSM D/s and any/all things taught. Do Y/you read voraciously,join sites like Collarme,enjoy chatrooms, like Passion_for_ submission(here on CM in the chat listings), like i do which is a topic room,similar to here with live converstaion based subject matter up for current discussion. Where would Y/you go to find a urgent question answered? A friend? A top?
-I read. Lots. Books. Forums. News. Magazines.
There are few kink books - or bdsm books - that are complete enough for me to feel "oooh this is *the* book". For example, in learning about submission/slavery during the past few years, living in Kuwait and Saudi Arabia, I learned an awful lot from islamic books and magazines that were easily available there, and benefitted hugely from them.
And I also read books like The Submitted Wife, and Fascinating Womanhood...and while I identified with them, benefitted from them (and called upon things I had learned from those books, to use, successfully - thanks authors!), ultimately I just tend to take bits and pieces from so many sources...history books, books on faith - many different types - , current feminist books even..they all feed my thirst for knowledge, and continually have me looking inside of my head and trying to figure out where, if anywhere, they 'fit'.
Often, they do...turns out I'm not so different after all 
I read another slave's personal blog almost daily, and I tend to grin when there's a lengthy 'break' in her posts...it simply means her Master is home from work (he works out of town). I can relate easily to her, plus her humour ain't to be matched!
I'm enjoying my time here on collarme, in the fora here.. and already am following some not-to-be-mentioned peoples who's heads I admire 
-People. Friends, family, relationships. All are incredibly important to me. But in specifics, regarding submission....I occasionally will speak to my mama....she "gets it"...I'll never talk to her about kink, that would be just too wrong for words, I could never disrespect her in that way, talking about my personal life sexually like that...but submission within a serious relationship??? suuure...I mean, she lives it too...the same with my closest friend.
I'm still in touch with some of my friends in Saudia and in Kuwait, and they add to my knowledge-ness...those women re-define slavery to me on a regular basis. Courage, given new meaning. Strength too. And love. Devotion. And continually simply being committed, continually trying, always with the desire on pleasing him. Being surrounded by women like that has a tendancy to remind me of where my focus is supposed to be.
My relationships over the years with men of the Domly persuasion...where would I be without those?...because those were lived, not simply read...there is no substitute for reality. Even the ones i'd rather not think about, I still learned from. And there haven't been that many...but each were very different from the other, also entering my life at different points of growth. It's really telling to look back and reflect, I find. I can see qualities that I delighted in. I can see areas where I lost trust, or was prohibited from developing it. I can see what worked..and what didn't..both in them, and in me. I want to learn, to grow. From them, I did. And I'm grateful.
-Travelling....my time overseas taught me more about submission than I think I could have ever imagined. More than any book, or the years of contact with many people living with in the realm of bdsm...society had as much an impact on me as the man my life was bound to.
It was there that I defined within myself the desire to submit, versus the need to live life as a slave. I learned that isolation can quiet the noisy voices within the head of a slave, giving her focus and allowing her to finally live, freely. I learned that removing my safeguards simply created within me a desire to reach the bar marked "pleasing".....which was set high.
I think I could have learned that here too, in North America...but the society part? And the safeguards we have here... not so much, I think. But I didn't learn it here. I learned it there. So it has significance to me, attachments, memories etc.
For example, I can't look at sand without thinking back, immediately in a very submissive mindset. Summer promises to be fun at the beach :P
Maybe eventually, being that I live in a rainforest, I'll look at riverrocks with the same association, put there by a different, still-to-be-known, Master? One hopes
In the meantime, I'm still learning, on my own. Hopefully it keeps me out of mischief. No guarantees, though
< Message edited by cassandria -- 6/27/2010 3:05:12 PM >
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RE: Where do Y/you aquire knowledge?~ - 
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