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Long term or permanent chastity - 6/27/2010 9:03:13 PM   
slavekal


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Many Mistresses who espouse male chastity subscribe to the theory that theory that the longer a man is in chastity, the more horny and obedient he will be.  And conversely, if the man is allowed to orgasm, his submissiveness will drop off.  I am not so sure this is true.  If I know that I will never be allowed release, I think my attitude would get worse.  And sure, right after orgasm, energy and enthusiasm wane, but that is temporary.  In short, I do not agree that there is always a positive time in chastity to submissiveness ratio.  What do y'all think?

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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/27/2010 9:09:01 PM   
LafayetteLady


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I think that if a man is refused release for too long, he will eventually stop wanting it entirely. Kind of like if a guy is on certain anti-depressants, or has a great deal of life stress. The anti-depressants can cause libido to wane or disappear, and so can too much stress. If you know you aren't going to be getting any any time soon, eventually you will psychologically just stop caring.

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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/27/2010 9:11:38 PM   
DesFIP


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In general, men who know they will eventually get release, even if that eventually is several months, stay interested. I'm not sure about never getting release.

Women's libidos in such a situation turns off much faster. Put a woman in long term chastity and expect her to start adopting cats.


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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/27/2010 10:46:54 PM   
WestBaySlave


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 I think it's a fun idea and a neat concept, and like a lot of fetish scenarios, the theory deviates somewhat from the reality of the situation. It makes me hornier and more adventurous, but not necessarily better at serving per se. For one thing I'm thinking of sex almost constantly ( my judgment becomes impaired - every guy around becomes enormously attractive and just might be hitting on me ). It doesn't make me focus on the guy I'm serving more per se, it just makes me want to have sex with him more.

Time wise, speaking from past experience, the first week is tough, but then after that it plateaus out, and it's more a matter of an an increasing frequency of inappropriate rises down there. ( I've never worn a device, it's always just been willpower for me. )



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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/27/2010 11:18:30 PM   
AAkasha


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I think it depends on the man, but I have observed cycles in men who go through long term chastity.  "Forever chastity" isn't realistic though.   Many months is a better goal.

The cycles, I have observed, are pretty consistent.  The way the man reacts to it can vary, as can the length of time in each 'phase.'   Some men become really high maintenance and whiny, other men become hyper subservient and very motivated.  Across the board though, they need attention; a slave in chastity with no denial (teasing) is kind of useless, imo.

The cycles are something like (in this order)

Euphoria and hyper arousal
Desperation
Anger, possible resentment
Depression
Focus and surrender

I've found it's similar to a process of mourning once the 'hot fun' side wears off for a man and he realizes it's real.
Exercise is really important and beneficial during that time.

Akasha


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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/28/2010 1:53:31 AM   
submissivemale22


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha



I think it depends on the man, but I have observed cycles in men who go through long term chastity.  "Forever chastity" isn't realistic though.   Many months is a better goal.

The cycles, I have observed, are pretty consistent.  The way the man reacts to it can vary, as can the length of time in each 'phase.'   Some men become really high maintenance and whiny, other men become hyper subservient and very motivated.  Across the board though, they need attention; a slave in chastity with no denial (teasing) is kind of useless, imo.

The cycles are something like (in this order)

Euphoria and hyper arousal
Desperation
Anger, possible resentment
Depression
Focus and surrender

I've found it's similar to a process of mourning once the 'hot fun' side wears off for a man and he realizes it's real.
Exercise is really important and beneficial during that time.

Akasha



interesting theory AAKasha. ive only been in it for a couple days at a time, then back out, so i can't speak to long term psychological effects... but i did feel elements of all the above in my time. im sure it is much more intensified for people who do it for weeks/months.

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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/28/2010 12:31:21 PM   
Rochsub2009


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SlaveKal,
You know that forced chastity is one of my kinks.  And I definitely have some thoughts on this.  But I am withholding my comments until you join us in the "Men in Panties" thread.  The rest of us have stepped up to the plate, but you are noticeably absent.  Come join in the fun. 

BTW, sorry for derailing your thread, but I couldn't let you off the hook when the rest of us have already donned our panties. 


< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 6/28/2010 12:33:10 PM >

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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/28/2010 12:36:13 PM   
hlen5


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
.........Women's libidos in such a situation turns off much faster. Put a woman in long term chastity and expect her to start adopting cats.





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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/28/2010 1:41:31 PM   
xXsoumisXx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

In general, men who know they will eventually get release, even if that eventually is several months, stay interested. I'm not sure about never getting release.

Women's libidos in such a situation turns off much faster. Put a woman in long term chastity and expect her to start adopting cats.



so so true!!!

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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/28/2010 1:45:51 PM   
gedienstig


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Well, I like the idea of chastity only in the sense of giving another aspect of my life in the hands of a Mistress. She decides in my life when I can come, but I have to admit these time periods should be somewhat reasonable. I'm a 25 year old "healthy" male, if I am denied orgasms until I turn 26, something's gonna break. Either the chastity device's lock or the keyholder's neck.

Nah, j/k, I would never break the lock of something as expensive as a chastity device.

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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/28/2010 1:50:45 PM   
laurell3


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

In general, men who know they will eventually get release, even if that eventually is several months, stay interested. I'm not sure about never getting release.

Women's libidos in such a situation turns off much faster. Put a woman in long term chastity and expect her to start adopting cats.



Putting me in long-term chastity would be like purposefully inducing permanent pms. I wouldn't recommend it.

I don't see a problem with consentual chastity. I have talked to many men that have had physiological undesired side-effects from it though. I would really research it before you attempt anything long term if you are considering it.

With regard to submission, as stated above it would have the opposite effect on me. I have known men that do endorse the theory that they are more submissive when in chastity though. It might be a gender thing, or a person thing..dunno.

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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/28/2010 2:19:50 PM   
DesFIP


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Across the board though, they need attention;

Akasha



I would say that this is true of every partner in every relationship. Either we pay attention to each other, feeding each other's hearts (and other emotions) or we will be surprised when the relationship dies. Use it or lose it.

Of course, if he wants me to pay attention to him, he has to change the channel. I don't watch gory stuff.


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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/28/2010 7:15:03 PM   
slavekal


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I think I behave best if I know that I can earn release, even if it is infrequent.  Gives me incentive.  On the subject, I just ordered the newest silicone device, the BON 4.  If it arrives in time, I can give Ms. Mlicious the key as a birthday gift.

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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/29/2010 6:57:22 PM   
Andalusite


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My former submissive wasn't less submissive after he came, though he did have a little less energy. I frequently kept going, or had him do things right afterward, and he never complained. Chastity devices had never particularly appealed to me, but a couple of posts lately have been intriguing. Most likely, if I chose to use one, I'd have him wear it whenever he was away from me (ie. at work, or if we didn't live together, at his home, when running errands, etc.). I'd want access to him and to be aware of his arousal when I was playing with him, and even just interacting in general. I wouldn't be interested in seeing how many days he could go without orgasm, and I wouldn't want to feel any pressure to not make him come because it would interfere with his record. There shouldn't be the health issues involved in long-term chastity, so unless something came up (irritation or something), I don't see any reason to set an arbitrary time-frame.

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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/30/2010 8:27:51 AM   
81song


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I kind of like what Slave said as to "if I know that I can earn release". I think it does make it more interesting if someone is not letting me cum for her. And in time that builds up at least in my mind.
Speaking as an X monk I guess I could go for a while without it but what is the goal? Maybe for the Domme it is control the sub and make him focus.

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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/30/2010 10:45:41 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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Let us know how the Bon4 works, kal!

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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/30/2010 11:04:37 AM   
slavekal


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Will do, Lady.  I really hope it arrives tomorrow.  That key can go on top of the pile of presents from me and her other boys.  I think she will like the key best of all.

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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/30/2010 6:46:59 PM   
joey46


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In my experience, it has all depended on whether it was made clear every day or nearly so that it was happening because that is what the dom or domme requiring it wanted  and enjoyed having me in chastity, or not.  On those occasions when it has been "lock-it-up-and-forget-it" on the dominant's part, it has become a bad deal sooner or later.  When it is a big, fat, long, slow tease, it can stay hot for a very long time in my experience at least.

As to any differences between doms and dommes in this this regard, I have found that it depends more on the person and the kind of relationship they have with me than their gender.  But then again, it is always the relationship more than a specific action within it that I long for and savor when I have it.

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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 6/30/2010 10:32:55 PM   
hardbodysub


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I'm totally with you on this, slavekal. No chance of orgasm = no positive reinforcement from chastity. Knowing that my orgasm is possible, but dependent upon her whims is a very strong incentive for me to put forth my utmost efforts to please her. I also agree that any drop in energy and enthusiasm after orgasm is very temporary. In some cases, it doesn't happen at all, but is instead replaced by gratitude.

P.S. I also think there is a threshold duration for orgasm denial, beyond which there are diminishing returns. In my own limited experiences with this, it seemed that going beyond a week or so seemed to result in less sexual energy/tension and a less powerful orgasm when it finally was allowed.

< Message edited by hardbodysub -- 6/30/2010 10:37:34 PM >

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RE: Long term or permanent chastity - 7/1/2010 9:20:52 PM   
hopelesslyInvo


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indefinitely is a fun word.

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