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You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/28/2010 8:09:56 AM   
DaddysInkedSlut


Posts: 1837
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline 		VP's thread You want to collar your slave but...................... got me thinking. What if a slave / submissive wanted or begged a dom/masters collar but they were told no. How would that slave / submissive respond?


I know how I responded in a similiar situation. There was a point when EDQ2 and I were moving past simple play partners and I begged his collar. He told me I wasn't ready yet. I was so confused but then he explained why. I understood and him telling me no didn't stop us from moving forward. It doesnt stop me from feeling owned or devoted of from him acting like my daddy. He now openly claims me as HIS and I now have a collar that I wear.



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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/28/2010 10:07:10 AM   
WestBaySlave


Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline 		From my perspective, I think I'd have a very hard time begging to be owned. It goes against the grain for me, and like all begging where I'm not forced to given the circumstances ( i.e. extreme pain or the like ), it feels way too much like telling my guy what to do.

I figure, if my dom wants to own me, and I've submitted to him and his desires, he will when he wants to and decides it's best.


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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/28/2010 10:30:47 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		You either continue as you had, or you end it.

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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/28/2010 11:49:22 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Here is my answer, never beg for one,.... ever.

I used to want to be collared one day, but these days if I wear a collar it will be for play, and nothing more....

I just don't want to formalize my role as an S-type person. The only commitment that is real to me is marriage, the rest isn't recognized in my social circles...

I respect what it means to other people

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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/28/2010 1:53:21 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		How that person acts is really dependent on the significance a collar has to them.

In your case you saw his reasoning and accepted it. In my case, I really don't have much desire for either collaring or marriage. In my opinion, the relationship is much more important than any symbol. However, others may be totally different and not be interested in any situation that doesn't eventually lead to a collar.

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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/28/2010 2:21:46 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Beg for it, no. Ask him to make a commitment, yes. Whether or not an actual physical symbol was forthcoming is not important to me.

But if we're on different pages emotionally, then it would end.


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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/28/2010 2:26:25 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		This is my view as well. You and Des nailed it exactly to the way I see things. But, if I ever got a wild hair up my ass and some freak impulse made me crave a symbol and my mate said no.. I would probably start looking at him in a different light. I doubt that my realising that not wishing one for most of my life would enter into the equation. I would probably be too hurt by rejection and I would inevidibly shut down.
Good thing wild hairs never grow on me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

How that person acts is really dependent on the significance a collar has to them.

In your case you saw his reasoning and accepted it. In my case, I really don't have much desire for either collaring or marriage. In my opinion, the relationship is much more important than any symbol. However, others may be totally different and not be interested in any situation that doesn't eventually lead to a collar.


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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/28/2010 3:42:19 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		It would depend on my feelings for him and our situation. I may just drop it and continue with what we have or I would move on.

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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/28/2010 5:13:35 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		Well, let's not throw begging out with the bathwater here.

Begging is perverse and perversity is often pleasurable. Begging for something you feel proud about not having to beg for is even more perverse and thus more pleasurable for those who love perveristy, particularly when it takes a very unfair form. Unfairness is hot I believe, in part because it makes you hyperaware of your place...and His or Hers. I am in the "collar as merly a symbol" crowd so don't care one way or the other if I have one, but I would love/hate having to beg for one some day...or even better, for something I care much more about and don't believe I should have to beg for.

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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/28/2010 7:12:57 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		It depends on what the collar means to you.  I guess if it's an all or nothing situation, without a collar, you could stamp your feet, throw a tantrum and leave.  I would never ask/beg for a collar.  That has to be the decision of the D-type, and something that I can either accept or refuse.  

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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/29/2010 3:43:59 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		begging to wear a collar is pretty hot, but then we only do this for fun

however, if  i would have liked to marry Him and He would have said hell no...
well... i don't know if i would have been able to take the rejection

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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/29/2010 6:10:15 AM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut

VP's thread You want to collar your slave but...................... got me thinking. What if a slave / submissive wanted or begged a dom/masters collar but they were told no. How would that slave / submissive respond?


I know how I responded in a similiar situation. There was a point when EDQ2 and I were moving past simple play partners and I begged his collar. He told me I wasn't ready yet. I was so confused but then he explained why. I understood and him telling me no didn't stop us from moving forward. It doesnt stop me from feeling owned or devoted of from him acting like my daddy. He now openly claims me as HIS and I now have a collar that I wear.





I think for some people begging for the collar can be a ritualistic type of act that reinforces the dynamic between the two parnters. But after you peel away that layer of romanticism, the bottom line issue boils down to commitment.

Personally I don't see commitment as something that people "agree" to or "negotiate" for. I don't view it as something that you are, but rather something that you feel. That might seem like sematics, but the difference for me is very important, as I believe that we feel commited to a person unless and until we no longer feel commited. To me, the collar symbolizes the present relationship; the "commitment" as it exists today. It's does not symbolize the promise of tomorrow, any more than a wedding band does.

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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/29/2010 7:47:08 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		If you have to beg for it then that means that one side wants it and the other doesn't.

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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/29/2010 8:10:43 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		that all depends on how serious they are

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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/29/2010 11:36:26 AM   
cassandria


Posts: 86
Joined: 6/6/2010
Status: offline 		I had to think about this, for a bit..

Why I immediately frowned when I thought of begging for a collar.

I concluded it was because to me, this is about his control. Which means he places it around my neck when he feels the time is right.

Not when I feel like it.


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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/29/2010 12:10:42 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

This is my view as well. You and Des nailed it exactly to the way I see things. But, if I ever got a wild hair up my ass and some freak impulse made me crave a symbol and my mate said no.. I would probably start looking at him in a different light. I doubt that my realising that not wishing one for most of my life would enter into the equation. I would probably be too hurt by rejection and I would inevidibly shut down.
Good thing wild hairs never grow on me.




I don't see that as a wild hair. If you needed him to give you a physical representation of his commitment and he refused it for no reason; then I would view that as being wildly apart emotionally. Which never bodes well for a relationship to last long.

Now if he said he didn't want you wearing one because you did a job where jewelry could be dangerous, or he hadn't found the right one yet that's different. But just a "No, I don't want to collar you" shows that you aren't equal in how you feel about the relationship.


< Message edited by DesFIP -- 6/29/2010 12:12:56 PM >

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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/29/2010 1:04:06 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		LOL ... no, I meant for me, it would take a wild hair up my ass to would compel me to ask anyone for a collar, a ring, ect. I am Not prone to grow wild hairs. I wouldn't ask. Unless some weirdness hits me and changes my personality that sort of need for a symbol just isnt going to happen.

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 6/29/2010 1:05:40 PM >

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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/29/2010 3:55:57 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		How much bling is on this particular piece of jewelry?

Mercenary Miss

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RE: You beg a dom/master's collar but ..... - 6/29/2010 4:35:36 PM   
KneelingSub25


Posts: 63
Joined: 12/9/2006
From: New York City
Status: offline 		Careful, you might have to get that collar insured....

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 19
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