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ORIGINAL: MsMacComb

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

If a woman wants to boil submission down to the simple fact that "men want to get off" then all they have to do is use that as the carrot and she can get what she wants out of a man's submission.  That's why there are loads of women flocking to the internet offering "online domination" and "phone domination" and promising to fulfill that fantasy of "submitting to a real female dominant" -- because they know the man wants to get off. They found the carrot and they dangle it.

I understand that formula.

Unfortunately, my desire to dominate men does not come from a desire to get them off.  I am this way because *I* like to get off.  I started dominating men for my own pleasure, not theirs.  I didn't come into domination as a means to an end; I *do not* see the male orgasm or him "getting off" as the key to the process or the goal.  I see it as much more than that, and my partners do also. I don't dangle the carrot. I don't need the carrot.

If your flavor of domination includes the bottomline fact that "men do what they do to do to get off" then I think you are missing out on some of the hottest aspects of male submission - namely the intense erotic rush that comes from sheer surrender and the moment a man honestly sets aside his agenda for the pleasure of his lady.

Fortunately there are many different types of subs out there and, as we all know, more than the population of femdoms knows what to do with. Those that are looking to put their needs for "getting off" aside and find a deeper pleasure will find their ways to the femdoms that have a born lust to see and celebrate a man who has surrendered.  Those looking for an armpit to lick will find many women happy to raise their arm.  But everything comes with a price.

My man's *surrender* is the price he pays to submit to my pleasure and make me wet.  I take care of his needs my own way.  I certainly won't cater to a man's agenda, though.  It would not make me feel dominant at all.  It's not what "feeds" my "inner femdom"  If I felt my man was submitting me only to get off, I would feel like a puppet, not a dominant.  In fact, many times my subs don't get off at all; I do.
Akasha

 

The whole point would be that what works for you is fine, for you. However, you don't speak for all dominant women, or submissive women or women in general.  The "carrot" you dangle is to reap what reward you want that benefits you which is fine. But your carrot in no better than anyone elses carrot, your brand of domination is no better than anyone elses, and your opinions are no better than anyone elses. You have your "homogenized" version of female domination which works for you. Great. Don't think that that makes you an authority on how others should live, or if their version of S/M is correct or not, or authentic, or sincere.
Its great that your husband matches your needs. Or does he? Lets see, men have been lying and telling women what they want to hear for millions of years for sexual purposes. Offers of money, shelter, security, undying love, the checks in the mail, promise I won't come in your mouth, blah blah blah. Thats how men are. Some os us are able to accept that and take advantage of that. Which you do, but you prefer to think of it in a different light. Others (like myself) take things as they are and use it, have fun with it and don't try to "femi-wash" it or spin it into something thats just totally false. Some people with these attitudes and ideals would be on par with people that think that Star Wars was real. Just because a horny guy says something doesnt mean its true. And thats fine, he may be saying and doing something why? To get off. But then thats how things are in the real world.

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha
I could have promoted my pay site much more heavily by responding to his post and going into great detail about how I wish he were here so I could plant my asscheeks right on his face and smother him for hours and have my friends come over too, because we all love that sort of thing. And armpit worship -- oh, my favorite, especially after my long aerobic workout when my pits are dripping with sweat. I would be assured he and his hard dick would click on my site and maybe sign up, hoping to read more and find out who my friends are; my motivation isn't in cash, though.  So I will tell him my honest opinion:  Using that "I am a great body worshipper" approach won't win him any interest from femdoms. It won't win me any subscriptions, but then again, I don't make a living off my site and would rather promote an honest view of what femdom is -- for non pros.
Akasha

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ORIGINAL: sjskuared

Gee, I think body worship is great.

OK now that I got that out of my system, I think that men can be a pain to women most of the time. 

I don't see (or find) women into the power exchange too much.  I don't see women who want that boy at home serving and catering to them.  I am not talking about how when you have a bad day and need time to be a regular person or not be pestered by your boy at home who is waiting (constantly it seems) for you to just dress up in leather and whip him or tie him up and use him for your (and his) sexual pleasure.

No.  What I don't see too much are the women who talk about how they have their boys do this or that at home for them, Akasha is an exception, but even more how they really enjoy having that power and control over a man.  Is it wrong to want that power, do you just not want to talk about it or do you really think its more of a bother.   Do any of you enjoy training a man to please you and enjoy seeing him obey you when you order him around or leave a list of chores for him to do and come home and find them done and it pleases you because for lack of a better word you like being a dictator to him and get off on the power.  Do you want more and more or do you end up wanting less and less?

Take the Goreans, where are the Amazons?  Where are the women who expect to have the little man cooking and cleaning for them, similing when you get home and ready with a drink in their hand to greet you when you come home.  Where are the women who unapolagetically love having that power over their men, I don't see (too many of) them if they exist.

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ORIGINAL: sjskuared
I don't see (or find) women into the power exchange too much.  
I don't see women who want that boy at home serving and catering to them.  
What I don't see too much are the women who talk about how they have their boys do this or that at home for them
how they really enjoy having that power and control over a man. 
Where are the women who expect to have the little man cooking and cleaning for them
Where are the women who unapolagetically love having that power over their men, I don't see (too many of) them if they exist.

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ORIGINAL: sjskuared

Those women wanting that level of servitude on a daily basis I don't find.

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ORIGINAL: Misstoyou

That may be accurate. It is for me. I, personally, am not looking for "in-house."

Still, in my relationship, part of my power over my submissive is determining the when and the where, in addition to the how I want his service.

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ORIGINAL: sjskuared
some women get turned off immediately when men mention sex.  For me it is something that is part and parcel of D/s and my submission to a woman

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ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

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ORIGINAL: sjskuared
some women get turned off immediately when men mention sex.  For me it is something that is part and parcel of D/s and my submission to a woman

Doesn't that, by default, mean that you are thinking of yourself and your own desires, and your own form of subservience, instead of completely surrending to HER will and HER wishes and HER desires, and letting HER develop you into HER form of subservience?
This isn't directed at you specifically sjskuared, but it is a reoccuring theme I see often. A submissive carries on about how they can't find a woman to "fully and completely surrender to", but then in the same breath, they start defining how their surrender is neither "full" nor "complete" because their submission must include XYZ, with no regard to whether or not their Mistress even desires that.
*sigh*
I guess I just miss the good old days when slaves didn't come with these "conditional instructions". I long for those old fashion slaves who actually derived their happiness by letting their Mistress mold them into everything she wanted them to be.

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha
While I can't speak for all femdoms, I think I can safely say that a submissive offering his exceptional talents as a body worshippper in the form of pussy licking, ass licking or armpit licking is not unique nor going to make any femdom reading sit up and say "Damn! That's what I've been missing all my life, a man who wants to worship my body!" -- unless she has a motive related to money.

Find me a femdom who read his post and found it compelling.  Whether or not his fetish is valid or exists is not relevant. What the point is that most femdoms have been suggesting he rethink his approach, as what he has to offer isn't really anything unique and at best it can come off as objectifying. 

Lots of pros will come on here and tell him,  "it's ok hunny, you can use that approach, real femdoms appreciate your honesty and love your fetish."   Non-pros will tell him that femdoms seeking partners want the whole package, not just a tongue, and not just a man looking for a pussy that happens to be attached to a woman.

Universal?  I won't say that.  Other women have other motivations.   I think you will see the lifestylers and non-pros giving him some advice (which might be harsher) and pros tellling him his fetishes and laying them all out there is quite all right. But that's their right -- they are in a game of self promotion here, to some degree.

I could have promoted my pay site much more heavily by responding to his post and going into great detail about how I wish he were here so I could plant my asscheeks right on his face and smother him for hours and have my friends come over too, because we all love that sort of thing. And armpit worship -- oh, my favorite, especially after my long aerobic workout when my pits are dripping with sweat. I would be assured he and his hard dick would click on my site and maybe sign up, hoping to read more and find out who my friends are; my motivation isn't in cash, though.  So I will tell him my honest opinion:  Using that "I am a great body worshipper" approach won't win him any interest from femdoms. It won't win me any subscriptions, but then again, I don't make a living off my site and would rather promote an honest view of what femdom is -- for non pros.

Akasha

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ORIGINAL: WorshippingYou1

I was wondering how many dommes here enjoy body worship, and, of those, what particular form of such worship they enjoy the most?

I know that there are many that enjoy full-body massage; my own particular talent lies in prolonged oral worship of pussy, ass, and armpits. I also like to literally pray to the domme and/or to the body parts(s) that she enjoys the most...though there isn't necessarily physical contact in such worship, it IS  nonetheless worship that reinforces the power dynamic. Of course, worshipping in the physical sense an amazing experience. There are many forms of worship; I was wondering what the favorite form of dommes may be. Thank You.

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ORIGINAL: sjskuared

Take the Goreans, where are the Amazons? Where are the women who expect to have the little man cooking and cleaning for them, similing when you get home and ready with a drink in their hand to greet you when you come home. Where are the women who unapolagetically love having that power over their men, I don't see (too many of) them if they exist.