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SouthernSpankin -> RE: Question about terms/titles? (7/3/2010 5:39:11 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Ligeia72
Just curious, I understand that the terms Top and Dom are not necessarily interchangeable with one another, but what about Dominant terms such as 'Master', 'Daddy', 'Sir', 'Lord', etc. Do you think they're all just basically different terms/titles for the same thing, or is there a difference in the approach of say a Daddy compared to a Lord, so therefore they're not all the same. Do you see 'Dominant' as an umbrella term, and terms such as Master, Slave etc to be subsets of that idea?
(Interested in hearing from Mistresses/Dommes also - not sure if I should double post this question in the Mistress section or not?)
quote:
ORIGINAL: Ligeia72
...Personally I don't get into 'labels' as such, except where it serves a purpose to indicate preferences/what I'm into. I do know others use/have labels though, and I wondered how people viewed those labels, or if there was any sort of general consensus that label X in a D/s situation means one thing, and label Y means another.
There are sub-communities that get all particular about the use of "Master," like LadyPact was saying, and they may have all this protocol and rules regarding it. But if you meet someone like that, they will let you know. As for myself, I've been part of a protocol/rule sub-community before (and enjoyed it), but now I just do whatever works best for me and the person I'm getting intimate with. I've found that the vast majority of D/s people are into titles (sure, some D/s people aren't, and there is nothing wrong with that... most people in this world aren't even into any aspect of BDSM much less D/s). Personally, I've found that Sir/Daddy/Master are interchangeable... in fact, with a sub that has no preference, I tell her to use Sir, Daddy, and Master depending on the mood, and they are quite intuitive about doing a great job at it. From my experience, generally, I've found the girls that lean toward "Yes Sir" to be more into the discipline aspect of BDSM... the girls that lean toward "Yes Master" to be more into the sexual aspect of BDSM, and the girl that lean toward "Yes Daddy" to be more into the affectionate aspect of BDSM... if that makes sense. But the flip side to that is that, generally, being called "Sir" puts me into more of discipline/stern mood, being called "Master" puts me more in a sexual/erotic mood, and being called "Daddy" puts me more in an affectionate/caring mood... but I love all of that so all of it puts me in a loving mood :)
However, of course I've met subs that do have a preference... the vast majority love saying Sir, but some had a hard limit when it came to Daddy and/or Master. Of course, they have the subs that love to specialize in just Daddy/lil girl play or Master/slave play. As for Lord, I've never played with that one before, and have never got to have a conversation with anyone who does (but I can see how it would work fine, I've just never really thought about it). As for Owner, I agree with LadyPact that "Owner gets associated with those who have the human property philosophy as part of their dynamic" -- but you will see plenty of subs use "Owner" just to mean "Dom" (that is, they say they are "owned" but they aren't doing the human property thing, often just D/s without the human property thing).
But remember that we are all different. To answer your question, there is no general consensus on what the terms mean in the general BDSM community... it all depends on the individuals. But there are sub-communities that have rules/protocol regarding some terms, especially "Master."
As for the Femdom side, Mistress, Miss, Ma'am, Mommy, and Goddess are the common ones in my experience. I even know a Domme that has her sub call her Princess and he is her servant boy.
And yes, 'Dominant' is an umbrella term: the D in D/s, and dynamics such as Master/slave, Daddy/lil girl, etc are be subsets of D/s.
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