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Interchangable terminology - 6/30/2010 12:29:15 AM   
calmeconfused


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/30/2010
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Upon suggestion by a friend I came 2 this site 2 learn about this life choice. However I find myself some what further confused. There seems 2 be no hard and fast rule regarding the titles.  Here is an example:  I found this definition online- A submissive renews the choice to submit every time a demand is levied upon her. A slave makes a one-time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is incumbent upon her to obey. Now it appears after reading many posts that these titles r inter changable. I would appreciate clarification if anyone is willing.
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RE: Interchangable terminology - 6/30/2010 1:19:12 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
There is no rule book.  Terms have no definitions that are agreed upon by all. 

However, it's not as bleak a picture as one might suspect.  Terms are really just terms, little boxes into which some people wish to place themselves.  Being put into a predetermined box would limit what you could or could not do or be.  By not having specific definitions for terms you are now free to be whomever and whatever you wish to be without the limit of some preconceived notion.  You and your Master are not bound by some set of rules.  That is a good thing. 

I know it's difficult when you are starting to learn about something new.  It's even more difficult when the rules are so flexible.  However, as you relax and learn and grow the lack of concrete definitions will not be as upsetting as it is right now.  You will learn and grow together with your dominant.  You can be all you can be without worrying that you are not doing it right because there is no right that is universal.  You won't have to worry about doing something that is exclusive to a slave's definition when you are a submissive, and vice versa.  There is only personal growth where you can strive to be your very best.

Let me add one more thing.  Games have rules.  Life does not. 


< Message edited by peppermint -- 6/30/2010 1:21:09 AM >

(in reply to calmeconfused)
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RE: Interchangable terminology - 6/30/2010 1:35:20 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
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Calmeconfused, most of the labels are generalizations to things that best fit. Anything else risks stereotyping, which can become a downfall. Simply explore things, learn, live and enjoy what you can. Experience things!!! Figure out what is or is not right for you and your relationship and/or partner.

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

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RE: Interchangable terminology - 6/30/2010 8:22:59 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
I can assure you that after 8 years I'm not making a choice to submit when he asks me for another cup of tea. It's really based on how you both feel. Neither he nor I have good associations with the word slave so we stick with submission.

Submissive or not, quiche is not served in this house to him. Nor is berry ice cream. He's fine if the rest of us want it but he expects in that case for something he prefers to also be on the table.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Interchangable terminology - 6/30/2010 8:32:46 AM   
WestBaySlave


Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
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 There is so much disagreement over this, I've given up caring about labels. I know what I'm looking for, I don't really care what it's called.

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RE: Interchangable terminology - 6/30/2010 9:10:53 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
not everyone perceives, experiences or desires submission or slavery in the same way...and there is no One True Way for All.

similarly, blue can be turquoise or navy or melancholy or suggestive of sexual impropriety...and still be blue.

(in reply to calmeconfused)
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