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hopelesslyInvo -> RE: Perceptions of Domme (7/1/2010 8:42:30 PM)
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even as i fit the profile of 'straight single submissive male', i can't begin to speak for anyone but myself. your journal entries were gone before i could read them but i don't imagine they're important to the question posed, but may have been if i was commenting on what was occurring with the guy you've mentioned. if i were to comment, i would say convenience often weighs too heavily in our minds. most people at one point or another claim to have found their soulmate, and to a degree which rouses extreme suspicion; these soulmates tend to go to the same school or live 10 minutes away in almost every case. 6 billion people, and your soulmate has a 95% chance of living next door?
that's why convenience is something i think people hold onto too dearly; it escalates our perception in ways that don't discern realism very well, and causes us to overlook what might just be a little further out of our immediate reach. fortunate as it might have been, he drifted; just let him go, it wouldn't have been any better or worse if he was in egypt.
i wouldn't be surprised that there are more seemingly compatible locals than you could fathom; they're just not on collarme or discernible in public eye.
most of us try to keep our lives as private as possible, many are absolutely fearful of others finding out where our interests and activities may lie; which makes finding each other like playing marco polo with a deaf mute.
i'd just keep my eyes open like you have been, but there's more than just collarme to see.
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What do you think, subs? If I state in my profile 'seeking ongoing significant connection with ltr possible' is that a pretty clear parallel to "sensual, emotional connection"? Would *you* feel compelled to write based on an eHarmony-rated version of what I would like to find on a lifestyle website?
very little compels me to write to people aside from them writing to me. i think in absolutely every case that i've ever written to someone first, it has been merely to pay a compliment to someone i either wasn't interested in, or had zero chance with.
i look, i read, i show up on people's "who's viewing me" lists time to time, but that's about as far as i manage to go on my own. keeping in mind i speak only for myself and i don't expect other people carry the same issues i do, i'll go ahead and answer your question.
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Especially interested in hearing the opinions of straight male subs seeking a Domme. Let me pose this question:
In your heart of hearts, what do you really hope to find here on CM and what specifically in a Domme's profile compels you to contact her?
what i really hope to find is someone who shatters my doubt and disbelief.
i want someone who understands my perpetual appreciation for all women, and not just her; but also understands i want one of those women to be in my life. someone i feel like i belong with, and who can withstand me pouring into her alone the appreciation and affections i universally hold for so many, but get to experience in one unique relationship.
i want someone who scares me a bit, but comforts me more so. in collarme i generally run into two types of people; those who seem far too reserved and make me feel like i'm talking to the same kind of person i've always yielded incompatible results with, and then there are thos who outright frighten me when i consider what getting involved with them would be like. these latter types always seem fantastical; as though they're either not aware of reality, or simply don't live in it. like so many often do, they get caught up in terminology and fantasy that all they can accomplish in their efforts is to become a reflection of what bdsm is viewed to be on the surface, and so they live their life in constant role-play and deception.
i hope to find someone who unsettles me with how down to earth and open her mind is, but who doesn't give me reason to distrust or disbelieve. someone who does things like telling me where she'll be without actually inviting me to come, someone who is not afraid to ask too much of me, but is doing so from an interest of me, more than what it will gain her. i hope to find someone that i feel accepted by, and beyond all other measures; someone who is patient enough, in more ways than one, to get there. else, they could just be so damn special that i can be at ease and comfortable for once.
i have a fault of being very timid, so what i in the end hope for is someone who can lure me in when i am wary, someone that will pull me where they want me to go, and someone who won't let go me once they've finally got me.
and if i can't have that, i might settle for someone who's 10 kinds of crazy, likes leather, and doesn't mind cuddling; but not today.
in short... i have no doubt that there are people looking for the same thing you are even if you've yet to come across them; not to mention that just because 2 people are looking for the same thing, there's no assurances they'll be able to find it in each other.
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