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Problems finding a sub - 7/1/2010 12:23:07 PM   
Crazy4Life


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/28/2010
Status: offline 		Hello, my name is (well, contact me by PM) and I live in New Jersey,and I am 20 years old. I am a Caucausian dom.
Ok, with that taken care of, I emailed a bunch of sub/slaves of +-3 years of me, of all ethnicites up to 50 miles away from me in New York City and Philadelphia.
Unfortunately, not a single one responded out of 20.
I wonder why?
Is it because of my weight(which isn't the best I'll admit), or for what reason? I got the impression that I AM THE PROBLEM, but why and what?

Should I mention what I would want from my sub in my messages?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/1/2010 12:35:19 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		OP - I'm going to be completely honest with you.

Your profile is empty. Completely empty. All I know is your height, your weight, your location and your age. You've ticked some of your interests, but that's it.

If I'm contacted by someone with an empty profile, then I pass them by. Subs/slaves get a LOT of messages. I use the profile to decide whether someone is worth responding to. There's no indication of what you're looking for, your relationship status, whether you're looking for long-term or short-term relationship, poly, play only, TPE...a whole long list.

So I guess it comes down to WRITE A PROFILE!!! Let the people you're contacting know about the man behind the dom. Otherwise you're going be single a long, long time...

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to Crazy4Life)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/1/2010 12:41:52 PM   
Crazy4Life


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/28/2010
Status: offline 		/\ Thanks... Is that really the reason?

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/1/2010 12:50:02 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

OP - I'm going to be completely honest with you.

Your profile is empty. Completely empty. All I know is your height, your weight, your location and your age. You've ticked some of your interests, but that's it.



What she said

Your profile is a snapshot of who you are.
The interest list isn't who you are, it is only what you like/don't like.

What are you looking for and more importantly, what sets you apart.

To say that submissive women get a lot of mail is an understatement. My first 3 days here I think I had 200 emails in my inbox.
Some women get that in a single day.

Depending on where you are you might want to look into local TNG gatherings.

Best wishes.


_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/1/2010 12:58:49 PM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Crazy4Life

Hello, my name is (well, contact me by PM) and I live in New Jersey,and I am 20 years old. I am a Caucausian dom.
Ok, with that taken care of, I emailed a bunch of sub/slaves of +-3 years of me, of all ethnicites up to 50 miles away from me in New York City and Philadelphia.
Unfortunately, not a single one responded out of 20.
I wonder why?
Is it because of my weight(which isn't the best I'll admit), or for what reason? I got the impression that I AM THE PROBLEM, but why and what?

Should I mention what I would want from my sub in my messages?

I would change your name ....

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to Crazy4Life)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/1/2010 1:21:17 PM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline 		Welcome.

Looks like you decided to take the advice and add something to your profile.  Good choice!
Have a look at this http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1717756  It might help a bit more.

Good luck, be patient and enjoy.

*edited to add this link for local groups  http://www.drkdesyre.com/meetppl/orgs/orgsnewjersey.html#NJ

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 7/1/2010 1:26:04 PM >

(in reply to Crazy4Life)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/1/2010 1:22:28 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Why does it have to be online? Go to munches and groups local to you and meet people there.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to divi)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/1/2010 1:54:36 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Why does it have to be online? Go to munches and groups local to you and meet people there.
What Steven said...get out there and have fun!!!





_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/1/2010 2:08:40 PM   
SirsJewel


Posts: 696
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline 		Welcome,

i hope you find what you are seeking but what i read tells alot of the person. You have told us you have a weight issue and that you emailed a bunch and no one responded. What did you expect? i think many come to CM thinking this lifestyle lowers people's self-repect and there's an easy lay factor going on here. What do You have to offer a person? Put down some positives about yourself before expecting anything, Good luck ~ jewels

_____________________________

God grant me the serenity to accept people for who they are and not whom i wish they could be ~ jewels

(in reply to Crazy4Life)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/1/2010 2:43:58 PM   
Ligeia72


Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirsJewel

Welcome,

i hope you find what you are seeking but what i read tells alot of the person. You have told us you have a weight issue and that you emailed a bunch and no one responded. What did you expect? i think many come to CM thinking this lifestyle lowers people's self-repect and there's an easy lay factor going on here. What do You have to offer a person? Put down some positives about yourself before expecting anything, Good luck ~ jewels


*nods* Agreed.

Also, OP, are you approaching these potential Subs as individuals in their own right? Or are you just blanket messaging? For example, it states quite clearly in my profile that..."I am not looking to meet anyone or hookup for any reason, under any circumstances." And yet I still receive messages along the lines of 'Mistress, are you interested in a Sub, I'm looking for a real time arrangement'. Now on the surface that might seem as if the person has approached me in a polite, and respectful manner, but if they haven't even had the decency to give me enough respect or consideration to do me the basic courtesy of actually checking my profile, and understanding that I have clearly stated, 'Not looking to meet anyone for any reason, etc etc', then I see that as neither polite nor respectful. Personally I would and do find it off putting. Same as if I was looking for some sort of an arrangement, and a person approaching me had made absolutely no effort to connect with me as a person. I might 'identify' (for want of a better term) on more of the Service Top end of the scale, but that doesn't mean I wish to be seen or used as just some nameless, faceless fuck toy. I'm a real human being, who wishes to connect with another human being, not a blow up doll or sex robot.

I can imagine if you can apply the above to the way you personally might be approaching any potential subs on here, then that might be off putting to more people than not. And if this is indeed the case, then you might wish to consider revising your approach.

(in reply to SirsJewel)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/1/2010 2:52:33 PM   
PeanutTigerinBox


Posts: 1624
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ligeia72
For example, it states quite clearly in my profile that..."I am not looking to meet anyone or hookup for any reason, under any circumstances." And yet I still receive messages along the lines of 'Mistress, are you interested in a Sub, I'm looking for a real time arrangement'. Now on the surface that might seem as if the person has approached me in a polite, and respectful manner, but if they haven't even had the decency to give me enough respect or consideration to do me the basic courtesy of actually checking my profile, and understanding that I have clearly stated, 'Not looking to meet anyone for any reason, etc etc', then I see that as neither polite nor respectful. Personally I would and do find it off putting.


I got today approached from a sub...if I would be her man she always dreamed of

_____________________________

RIP 08/09/07

aka Phoenixpower

one of my favourite songs :o) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_CuY4nMu8c&feature=related

(in reply to Ligeia72)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/1/2010 2:54:33 PM   
PeanutTigerinBox


Posts: 1624
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Crazy4Life

/\ Thanks... Is that really the reason?


It certainly is and if I receive an email which is obviously a standardised one I delete it and at times report it as spam

_____________________________

RIP 08/09/07

aka Phoenixpower

one of my favourite songs :o) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_CuY4nMu8c&feature=related

(in reply to Crazy4Life)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/1/2010 3:10:43 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Same here. I get a ton of emails that appear to be cut and pasted generic emails, citing nothing about me in particular or my profile. I delete or tell them the error of their ways.

Some say thanks; others call me a bitch. Whatever.

(in reply to PeanutTigerinBox)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/1/2010 6:58:27 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

I would change your name ....


LOL!


_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to divi)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/1/2010 7:05:09 PM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		It's true ... the name has no fizz,,, hehe

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to DarlingSavage)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/1/2010 11:44:19 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Dude, you are right by New York AND Philadelphia and you can't find folks? Those two cities have HUGE communities, bookstores, events, bars, parties, etc. You need to get thee to a real life event.

sunshine


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to divi)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/2/2010 3:34:22 PM   
hunter83


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		I'm new on here also and I've sent a few 'what up messages'.  Some wrote back some didn't, no biggie.  Get out and talk to people IN PERSON.  Look at all the beautiful girls on this site, they get every guy on here sending them tons of messages about 'hooking up'.  Its hard to make a good first impression with a pm/email.  Plus I kinda feel like a window shopper on the net lol its fine when your board but just not the same.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Problems finding a sub - 7/2/2010 3:37:06 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Yeah i got a mail from a Woman in Texas today under the headline Mystress World. i told Her straight up that i didnt think i was a catch for Her because
A i live in Ireland and
B if she is looking for money i am not the one for Her as i dont have money to give
i havent heard back from Her. if in a couple of days i dont hear from Her i will know She is just a money domme and i have made a lucky escape
kevin

(in reply to hunter83)
Profile   Post #: 18
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