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Scening with health concerns - 4/14/2006 7:34:48 PM   
njhoneyblossom


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/8/2006
Status: offline 		I don't know if this topic has been presented before but here goes.  How do dominants handle scening with slave/submissive/switch who has special health issues/concerns (i.e.:  diabetes, multiple sclerosis,  or any other illness that needs special attention within the lifestyle?  How do you accept the illness without letting the illness control the lifestyle or the slave/submissive/switch? 

What health issues/diagnosis would affect your lifestyle or scening?  Would it just curtail it or end it completely?   What suggestions would you offer?   I won't change my lifestyle, but I might need to change my way of thinking about my illness.        

Any responses are greatly appreciated. 



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angel

"Be not afraid of growing slowly. Be afraid only of standing still."
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RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/14/2006 8:59:40 PM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline 		I would think that something like hemophaelia could present a challenge to one's style of play.

As far as diabetes goes, I know where mys sub's test equipment is, how to use it, and after a scene I check her blood sugar for her, as well as having water and fruit/candy at hand.

In our 24/7 relationship, and specifically her training, I have implemented certain exercise, massage, and dietary changes, which will enhance her quality of life, but I would offer these sorts of things anyway.

In the end it is about 2 people enjoying each other...some people wear glasses, some people take sinus medicine, some people have low blood sugar...these conditions do not define or limit us.

(in reply to njhoneyblossom)
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RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/14/2006 9:18:27 PM   
kajira4aMaster


Posts: 49
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

I would think that something like hemophaelia could present a challenge to one's style of play.

As far as diabetes goes, I know where mys sub's test equipment is, how to use it, and after a scene I check her blood sugar for her, as well as having water and fruit/candy at hand.

In our 24/7 relationship, and specifically her training, I have implemented certain exercise, massage, and dietary changes, which will enhance her quality of life, but I would offer these sorts of things anyway.

In the end it is about 2 people enjoying each other...some people wear glasses, some people take sinus medicine, some people have low blood sugar...these conditions do not define or limit us.

this kajira would have to totally agree with Alumbrado! Thank you for writing this!!

(in reply to Alumbrado)
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RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/14/2006 10:34:17 PM   
enthralled


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Nashville, Tn
Status: offline
quote:

What health issues/diagnosis would affect your lifestyle or scening?  Would it just curtail it or end it completely?   What suggestions would you offer?   I won't change my lifestyle, but I might need to change my way of thinking about my illness.  


I believe any illness is going to affect your lifestyle/scening . . . be it anything from MS to a sprained wrist to a head cold- adjustments need to be made, concerns expressed, health issues addressed just like any other scene. Though there are some concerns that will be more 'unique' than others, I've seen that bottoms/subs/slaves can still enjoy the lifestyle to the fullest with the right combination of people who are willing to learn. For instance, I know of two bottoms that have insulin pumps and the tops have simply educated themselves with the medical and physical aspects and are very careful yet one of these bottoms play harder (and safer) than many I've seen!
Another person I used to know was in a wheelchair due to multiple sclerosis and got to the majority of the events we had. The guys even built a wheelchair ramp for a weekend event to make entrance easier for this person. . . good friends are a key as always.
Though some days will be tougher than others, in part I think it's a matter of how much control the individual allows the illness to have.

I wish you the very best in your journey. . .
Respectfully,
enthralled



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(in reply to kajira4aMaster)
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RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/14/2006 10:55:58 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		One deals with health concerns just like any other issue, through communication, education, and understanding but probably in this case with a heavier than normal dose of creativity.

Learn how to either incorporate into the scene somehow or create a ritual where things are dealt with prior to doing a scene just like you prepare yourself in other ways.

I think one of the things that would greatly affect how you deal with this is if you have a long term partner or if you have casual play partners.  One of the coolest submissives I have ever known was a submissive guy with one leg.  I would do some searching around on some of the Society of Janus links and especially http://www.ncsfreedom.org/kap/  and  http://www.sfsi.org/index.html

If you feel comfortable offering some more detail, some here might be able to give you more concrete answers.

(in reply to njhoneyblossom)
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RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/15/2006 12:54:19 AM   
VikingHouse


Posts: 57
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline 		As stated earrlier, disbetes and hemophalia are diseases that have to be considered; the latter is much more problematic, but diabetes can be a killer in its own right.
   I no longer take the assurances that a new slave is free of any diseases, especially blood pathogens that could be transferred thru direct exposure from heavy play, but, I'm not quick to discount the effects that pathogens from vaginal secretions and ass play.
   The unchanging tenet of Viking House is that anyone being considered for inclusion in our scenarior must have had a full battery of tests for STD's and other communiciable diseases that are making a reappearance here in the USA.
  We practice a poly-fidelity that further protects us from infections, and anyone that doesn't is excluded. No biggie for most that are only seeking another orgasm, but being excluded from our social calendar includes our, Critterques, Koffee klatchin', Spanks-de-mayo, Spanksgiving, etc.
   Any of the switches or dom's  that approach Me for an invitation are sent the same list of diseases for testing that we require of any slaves. They must be tested and either pass or be successfully treated before they're invited to any V H sponsored events.And yes, that would include a negative test that would follow treatment.
  No, I'm not overly paranoid, nor do I really believe that there's an official Yankee conspiracy against Me and Mine. It simply means that our health is precious, and our pleasure is rather important to us and I prefer being creative and spontaneous during a long session and I don't want to be bothered by having to don a condom.
  Prevenative measures are much more time consuming, but, I'll sacrifice those few minutes to the "Obsessive gods" and KNOW that what, I lick 'n' lap prior to a meaty insertion is disease free.
  There are numerous diseases and conditions that affect ones sessions and that's why I'm overly intrusive when questioning anyone that seeks to stand for Me. The mention of the tests and the retorts from Me about pathetic bois seeking masturbatory material has decisive results most of the time. They disappear when the realize that, I'm not interested in the size of their lil'pee pee's, or how large a buttplug they hookin' up to their air shocks, heheheheeeee
  Communication is majic, without it One can find themselves in a frightful dilema, especially when it's time to tell your partners that you dorked up and may be harboring a virus or bacterium that will affects everyone concerned lives.
Gentry

(in reply to njhoneyblossom)
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RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/15/2006 6:12:36 AM   
Manawyddan


Posts: 701
Joined: 1/2/2005
From: Petaluma (Northern California)
Status: offline 		There is an e-mail list for bdsm'ers with disabilities, which my wife is on (or has been on), if anyone is curious.

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"She always had a terrific sense of humor"
(Valerie Solonas, as described by her mother)
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(in reply to VikingHouse)
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RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/15/2006 8:32:39 AM   
TxBadMan


Posts: 198
Joined: 4/7/2006
From: Moody, Texas
Status: offline 		Though my girl does not have health issues per se, she does get flashbacks to her childhood ( she was severely abused ). Anything can set them off, even outside of play. I just have to be a bit more cautious not only during play, but also with everyday normal activities.


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Chris



(in reply to njhoneyblossom)
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RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/15/2006 9:16:33 AM   
slaveofdarkhold


Posts: 124
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline 		Just wanted to add another point of consideration- mental as well as physical illnesses might also need to be taken into account. I'm bipolar and my Master has to be acutely aware of the state of my moods as something which normally may be something I enjoy could have unpredictable results if I were manic or depressed. Just like with any other condition though, with proper communication and understanding it doesn't necessarily have to stop play.

(in reply to TxBadMan)
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RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/15/2006 6:37:48 PM   
CanadianGuy


Posts: 219
Status: offline 		Good point about Bipolar.

As a health professional, and as someone obsessed with truth and openness, all I would absolutely require from a submissive is her total honesty about any physical or mental issues that could affect our relationship.  That includes being willing to answer all questions I may have.

(in reply to slaveofdarkhold)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/15/2006 8:09:07 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Have to agree with Canadian here...two simple words...Communication & Creativity.......be well..Tempting

(in reply to CanadianGuy)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/15/2006 8:16:30 PM   
njhoneyblossom


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/8/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you for all of your responses.  Some things were suggested that I haven't even considered.  CrappyDom, I have saved the links you suggested and will research them.

VikingHouse, Master Robert totally agrees with you on safeguarding the health and well-being of those he loves and cares about.   

To give some details:  From the very beginning I have been open and honest with Master about my health (and it goes without saying other things as well).   I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 23 years ago this October.  I take medication and injections which leave bruises and lumps particularly on my legs.  For anyone that doesn't completely understand MS the best way for me to describe it is this:  it's an invisible disease that does more destruction from the inside out than what many people see.  I have problems with numbness, walking, sight and hearing.   As my disease progresses (and it has been), I wanted to understand how other dominants handle similar situations.

With the numbness in my limbs it's not easy for Master Robert (or myself even) to know how my body is reacting to a scene that includes waxing, bondage and his favorites of caning and flogging.
As everyone has indicated communication is the key.  I am doing my best to give very detailed communicate to Master, sometimes it's enough and sometimes it isn't.  Master Robert is in tune with me.  He has said many times that I am like an extension of His body knowing me better than I know myself. 

I would very much appreciate the e-mail list from you, Manawyddan.

Again, thanks to all for your heartfelt responses.  I continually strive to continue to learn.  If I can help someone else along the way then it's a two-fold learning experience for me.

Be well.

_____________________________

Simply me,
angel

"Be not afraid of growing slowly. Be afraid only of standing still."

(in reply to CrappyDom)
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RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/15/2006 8:26:07 PM   
understud


Posts: 102
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		I would appericiate that address for disabilities; and thant you for offering to make it avaliable to others...Most respectfully

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(in reply to TxBadMan)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/15/2006 9:11:05 PM   
understud


Posts: 102
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		TxBadMan please excusage my  reply sent to you I sent it to the wrong person, a thousand appoligies. Now if I could only find my brain....

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If you don't love and respect yourself; how the hell can you love and respect anyone else

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/15/2006 9:36:59 PM   
MsMacComb


Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline 		In case anyone isnt aware of this site and if it might help with ideas or resources:
http://www.kinked.org/

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Not looking for anyone for anything, any time.

(in reply to understud)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/16/2006 7:07:48 PM   
njhoneyblossom


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/8/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you MsMacComb for the website.  It's just the ticket for disabilities in the lifestyle that I was looking for.



_____________________________

Simply me,
angel

"Be not afraid of growing slowly. Be afraid only of standing still."

(in reply to MsMacComb)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/16/2006 7:20:54 PM   
classykindasassy


Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline 		If it was me, I'd seek out a kink-friendly doc and get the real 411 on my limitations, and educate my dom.

At a recent leatherfest I attended, I heard of a scene that Midori did with a participant in one of her classes, who was in a wheelchair. She was the first one, he said, who didn't treat him like he'd break. He's a sub, and when she topped him, she negotiated the scene and found out what his limits were. She did stuff like dump him out of the wheelchair, kick him around a little, and he totally loved it. The trick will be to find a top/dom who enjoys and can be creative with the limitations you have.

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"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to njhoneyblossom)
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RE: Scening with health concerns - 4/16/2006 9:40:56 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		As a dom, I make it my responsibility to have a general medical knowledge of anyone I give a session to. It does not change my scene per say but it makes me aware of what things I can prepare for. I always keep a first aide kit handy and it's good to know if I should be extra stocked on particular items.

We're adults and we shouldn't let health issues controll us. After all, we only live once. If I were told my next orgasim would give me a heart attack, would there be a better way to go?

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I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to njhoneyblossom)
Profile   Post #: 18
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