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LadyConstanze -> RE: Male sub that can't keep it up (7/12/2010 4:56:27 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TyShaw
Thank you for your response.
I am talking about myself to be honest.
Have have seen doctors and beyond, and handful to be exact. Have had various tests done etc, everything healthy in terms of possible causes, but they say I've had erectile dysfunction my whole life... very weird!
I'm totally used to it now, including psychologically!
I was just wondering if it would make a sub any less desirable for a possible Domme.
I think that was fairly obvious from the way you asked that it was about you.
As a lot of others have said, if you are healthy and there isn't a medical reason for it, there could very well be a psychological reason for it, it may even be subconscious or it may be that you decided that you have ED and convinced your body of it. Maybe you feel under pressure to perform or to get an erection. I read a study that a lot of guys who think they got ED still have hardons in their sleep.
As for being less desirable, it really depends what kind of relationship you have, as we have seen one woman would like it because of the humiliation factor, not my cup of tea but if it is something that does work for you, then it's all good, because in the end it is your relationship and you have to be happy in it, if you think you need to settle for the humiliation factor because you won't find anybody else - forget it, you're worth more than that and it always takes 2 to tango.
Btw it's not unusual for guys to have ED when they are nervous or in love, my partner of several years was so nervous in the beginning that he had ED, I thought the ball was in my court and I told him not to worry about it, of course he still did, so I simply tied him to the bed, told him not to worry because I'm not going anywhere and just cuddled up and read a book - the problem kinda resolved itself, several years down the line, Mr Floppy sometimes raises his head (or doesn't raise it) and we have a laugh about it and it doesn't become a problem. I think if one of us would start panicking and mentioning viagra and whatnot or "Oh get that checked out..." it would become a problem.
As a completely off the cuff idea, maybe you need to find out what exactly turns you on or what happens if you got ED, maybe it's a smell or a view that turns you off, and don't worry about it too much, it takes a bit more than just an erect penis to satisfy a woman! In fact, you don't really need the penis as long as you got all your fingers and a tongue, and in case she really is into penetration - visit your local sex shop, if you're too shy for that, order on the internet...
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