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RE: Male sub that can't keep it up - 7/11/2010 9:10:11 AM   
bighappygoth39


Posts: 633
Joined: 10/7/2009
Status: offline 		Well said LadyPact. I was quite enjoying the amount of care being shown in this thread. There's always one who has to spoil it, isn't there?

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(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Male sub that can't keep it up - 7/11/2010 10:37:00 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline 		The inability to get or maintain an erection is something that can be worked around fairly easily in terms of female pleasure. Where I've found ED tricky is my own sense of frustration at not being able to give my partner an orgasm. I had a boyfriend who was on a lot of meds that made it difficult for him to come, but I developed quite the bag of tricks to get the job done. I'm patient. And I'm willing to put in the time. So it's not like I give up in frustration very easily. If I'm dealing with a man who acts like I'm not trying hard enough, well... I can't deal with that for very long.

(in reply to TyShaw)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Male sub that can't keep it up - 7/11/2010 11:14:07 AM   
CincyMunch


Posts: 7
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		It's not about WHAT you'll be able to do or WHAT you'll be able to take or WHAT your limits are.  It's about WHO you are.  For the right WHO, the WHAT becomes irrelevant.  For me, it's as simple as that.

As to the humiliation issue you raised, if you absolutely loved humiliation in relation to your ED, I'd incorporate it some.  If not, I wouldn't touch humiliating a person for something beyond their control.  I would, as others have said, verify that all medical and emotional issues related to ED were professionally addressed as that comes under the heading of care and feeding of my property.

Happiness to you, I hope you find what you seek.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Male sub that can't keep it up - 7/11/2010 11:23:28 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		My best friend has a bf w ho's diabetic, and he refuses to take his meds, because in his mind, it's not important, and he don't "need to take them" and he also has ED, he says he's going to get Viagra to help with his ED , and screw needing a dr's prescription he'll find a way around the Dr's note and get it anyway.


Well it did occur to me, maybe his ED is because he refuses to take his diabetes medications.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

I had a lover once who had ED. He had terrible diabetes
best,
sunshine


(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Male sub that can't keep it up - 7/11/2010 11:29:47 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		I d on't think it makes a woman selfish or superficial to not want a partner with ED. Sex is a very big part of some healthy relationships, and I think that if a fully functioning penis is important to a woman, it'd be selfish not to say so upfront, and give a man with ED false hopes with her. Now of course sex isn't the be all end all, and yes, there are sex toys that can take the place of a penis, but I am here to tell ya, while toys are nice, they are not a proper replacement for the bond I seek from being fucked by my partner's actual penis. I would for sure miss  the use of the penis, if my partner had ED.

I feel however that since I admit that right up front, it's not a selfish thing to want someone with a functioning penis. It'd be more selfish of me to play it off, like it don't matter or I wouldn't miss it, or I could live with it , and give someone false hopes, and then turn around and show them later on I do infact mind the ED and it is, infact a problem for me..
quote:

ORIGINAL: gedienstig

Well, it kinda is like in vanilla relationships. There are caring and understanding women, and there are selfish and superficial Women


(in reply to gedienstig)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Male sub that can't keep it up - 7/11/2010 11:46:33 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I used to not be bothered by ED, but now it all depends on what I want to DO. It can be very very unsatisfying for me to not be able to get someone to have an erection! It makes CBT much less fun, and just... well, it's an issue sometimes when there is no romance in the relationship.


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(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Male sub that can't keep it up - 7/11/2010 11:55:55 AM   
kitastrophe33


Posts: 85
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline 		Err...cialis & viagra really won't do much for a diabetic dick. Diabetes causes ED because of the NERVE DAMAGE that occurs when one's sugar is too high for prolonged periods of time. Eventually it causes inability to hold his urine, at least until the kidneys are too wrecked to make urine, then there's dialysis. It can cause fecal incontinence too (which is damn sexy). The nerves in the eyes get attacked causing blindness...That's a bitch. And the nerves and blood supply to the extremities, eventually causing the need for amputations.

I'm sure a doctor has told him this, but some people insist upon learning the hard way. So hopefully he's enjoying his ability to see, walk, pee...live in general while he still can.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

My best friend has a bf w ho's diabetic, and he refuses to take his meds, because in his mind, it's not important, and he don't "need to take them" and he also has ED, he says he's going to get Viagra to help with his ED , and screw needing a dr's prescription he'll find a way around the Dr's note and get it anyway.


Well it did occur to me, maybe his ED is because he refuses to take his diabetes medications.

quote:



< Message edited by kitastrophe33 -- 7/11/2010 11:57:55 AM >

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Male sub that can't keep it up - 7/11/2010 5:45:08 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		. yeah I knew diabetes can affect the nerves of the eye, it's not surprising that it'd take away the use of your dick eventually too if you are not treating your diabetes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitastrophe33

Err...cialis & viagra really won't do much for a diabetic dick. Diabetes causes ED because of the NERVE DAMAGE that occurs when one's sugar is too high for prolonged periods of time.


(in reply to kitastrophe33)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Male sub that can't keep it up - 7/12/2010 6:33:06 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Wow....claps...stands back in awe ..self promotion/marketing genius. 
..Whats the going rate!!!


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Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to missfrankie)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Male sub that can't keep it up - 7/12/2010 4:28:04 PM   
KaraFirebrand


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/4/2010
Status: offline 		Would it matter? No
Would I humiliate someone based on a medical issue? Absolutely not. I'm a sadist, not a bully.
Is an erection important to me? Not really, I tend to keep a slave in chastity.

I hope you can ultimately find an effective treatment for what ails you, and not let it be something that defines you.

~Lady Kara FB

(in reply to TyShaw)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Male sub that can't keep it up - 7/12/2010 4:56:27 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TyShaw

Thank you for your response.
I am talking about myself to be honest.
Have have seen doctors and beyond, and handful to be exact. Have had various tests done etc, everything healthy in terms of possible causes, but they say I've had erectile dysfunction my whole life... very weird!
I'm totally used to it now, including psychologically!
I was just wondering if it would make a sub any less desirable for a possible Domme.




I think that was fairly obvious from the way you asked that it was about you.

As a lot of others have said, if you are healthy and there isn't a medical reason for it, there could very well be a psychological reason for it, it may even be subconscious or it may be that you decided that you have ED and convinced your body of it. Maybe you feel under pressure to perform or to get an erection. I read a study that a lot of guys who think they got ED still have hardons in their sleep.

As for being less desirable, it really depends what kind of relationship you have, as we have seen one woman would like it because of the humiliation factor, not my cup of tea but if it is something that does work for you, then it's all good, because in the end it is your relationship and you have to be happy in it, if you think you need to settle for the humiliation factor because you won't find anybody else - forget it, you're worth more than that and it always takes 2 to tango.

Btw it's not unusual for guys to have ED when they are nervous or in love, my partner of several years was so nervous in the beginning that he had ED, I thought the ball was in my court and I told him not to worry about it, of course he still did, so I simply tied him to the bed, told him not to worry because I'm not going anywhere and just cuddled up and read a book - the problem kinda resolved itself, several years down the line, Mr Floppy sometimes raises his head (or doesn't raise it) and we have a laugh about it and it doesn't become a problem. I think if one of us would start panicking and mentioning viagra and whatnot or "Oh get that checked out..." it would become a problem.

As a completely off the cuff idea, maybe you need to find out what exactly turns you on or what happens if you got ED, maybe it's a smell or a view that turns you off, and don't worry about it too much, it takes a bit more than just an erect penis to satisfy a woman! In fact, you don't really need the penis as long as you got all your fingers and a tongue, and in case she really is into penetration - visit your local sex shop, if you're too shy for that, order on the internet...



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(in reply to TyShaw)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Male sub that can't keep it up - 7/13/2010 6:55:07 PM   
dbloomer


Posts: 137
Joined: 7/9/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TyShaw

Thank you for your response.
I am talking about myself to be honest.
Have have seen doctors and beyond, and handful to be exact. Have had various tests done etc, everything healthy in terms of possible causes, but they say I've had erectile dysfunction my whole life... very weird!
I'm totally used to it now, including psychologically!
I was just wondering if it would make a sub any less desirable for a possible Domme.




Does your ED persist when you are alone/not with your mistress? This will go a long way in determining if it is psychological or not.





(in reply to TyShaw)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Male sub that can't keep it up - 7/16/2010 12:55:53 PM   
DommeKeliDallas


Posts: 311
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TyShaw

Hi there,
Just a question to the Mistresses.
Would it matter if you had a young 25-35 male sub who has erectile dysfunction.
I know an erection probably isn't important but I'm curious if this would be an issue, or maybe it would add to the fire in terms of humiliation, punishment etc?
Thanks
Ty


Please don't put a picture of your dick on your profile page...It is disrespectful and crude...and ESPECIALLY if it doesn't even work!

(in reply to TyShaw)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Male sub that can't keep it up - 7/16/2010 1:07:58 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		From the pic, it seems to be working just fine.  ED does stand for erectile dysfunction. 

So, while he gets points for being able to get it up, he isn't quite scoring any for honesty.

I'm done with this thread.


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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DommeKeliDallas)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Male sub that can't keep it up - 7/16/2010 2:15:20 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		Well, it depends on if he likes that kind of thing or not.

I've met guys with small dicks who wanted to be humiliated for it and others who preferred to be reassured that it's a matter of technique, not size, really, and never have the relative size of him vs. others mentioned. If he kinks the condition it's fair game. If he doesn't, it's not. And he's the one who gets to decide on that.


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Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 35
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