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RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/16/2006 10:01:23 AM   
OneX2


Posts: 157
Joined: 1/3/2006
Status: offline 		I think when a sub/slave is demanding in their profile that appeals to cetain Doms/Masters. It is limiting their own search, as much as specificly stating "This is what I am looking for!" They are merely showing every one. I do know what you mean though as you write this. I just say to myself "There is no right or wrong way to seek out some one here." I have no way of knowing if they get the result that they want. I think that should be the next question!

Joseph

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/16/2006 3:17:34 PM   
texturedshroom


Posts: 27
Joined: 6/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

I am submissive to someone I choose to be submissive to. That's the way it works. I have as much right (and responsibility) as any dominant to be clear in what I want and need.


Exactly! I want to make it clear to "dominants" who are just here to make quick cash or get a free cleaning service that I'm not interested, so I say this in my profile:

quote:

I'm not currently anyone's sub, and so I am not interested in lining anyone's pockets with "tribute" or cleaning anyone's houses just yet. Should I get to know you, then things might be different.


I don't think that's unreasonable, and I wouldn't expect a true dominant to ask me for these things before knowing me.


< Message edited by texturedshroom -- 4/16/2006 3:19:08 PM >

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/16/2006 4:20:42 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Before we all start to get too introspective or nit picking about this subject, why dont we stand back and take a fresh look....


What is a profile? It is your personal advertisment to market you. You are either buying or selling... The area you are advertising may be in one or more of the following areas...
  1. Wanting to find Fiends.
  2. Wanting to find a sub/slave.
  3. Wanting to find a Dominant.



Realy every profile I've looked at falls into this catogory. Now I immagine none of us have a paid publicist or marketing Company who is marketing you, and few are skilled in the marketing field. So we are all marketing ourselves with what we have and are able to do and with what skill we are able to find to do the marketing.

If I go to a breeder of malamutes I will want to know everything about the pup/s I am ready to buy.... I am ready to upgrade my car for another used car, I want to know all about it. The same gouse for a new house. I will search in the areas where people marked their commodities and where it is convienent for me too. Would I go looking for a slave in the US? No even though I would find what I seek very quickly but the realty of getting here legally here is enormous. I want and need to know what she is "selling" this means her portability (relocation), what she is seeking in a Master. (We may not match and so why waste time and energy?) ~ Better an empty collar or no collar than the wrong person in your collar or the wrong collar!


Whilst a few profiles appear to me to be too agressive or hostile (which is a turn off for me), I like profiles which tell you exactly what is on offer. Just my view

Cheers


< Message edited by IronBear -- 4/16/2006 4:24:16 PM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to texturedshroom)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/16/2006 5:34:08 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Examples: I will not relocate and that's finale!
            I am new to this, but am looking for a Female Dom.
            all males need to get lost!
            I am Submissive and not Slave, Period!
            Etc.


I am a firm believer in clearly stating one's expectations and limits up front.  It makes it much easier to wade through those who, for one reason or another, are simply not compatible with my own wishes and needs.  However, the examples above are classic illustrations of how NOT to give a favorable first impression.  It reads too much like a child stamping his feet and screaming, "I won't do it!"

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to MistyMenthal)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/16/2006 6:42:51 PM   
ICGsteve


Posts: 202
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline 		A person who writes a profile that gives the impression that it was written by an unpleasant, humorless,  egotistical person may well have been. If I was looking for a sub or a slave I doubt that I would take the time to find out if the profile gives a false impression. If that person is who they say they are (they betray themselves by tone and tenor not  by literal words)   then I would not want any part of what they have to offer.

An imp is another story. I may very much like the challenge of seducing and bending to my will one who is  a little too full of themselves.

< Message edited by ICGsteve -- 4/16/2006 6:45:36 PM >

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/16/2006 6:57:46 PM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		I've always thought the terms 'sub' and 'dom' are misnomers. Most subs I have met aren't submissive but want to be submissive whilst scening which really means they are looking for someone they call a 'dom' to service them, which means they aren't really looking to be dominated at all. I think more often than not it is the 'dom' that is tethered to the leash rather than the sub.  There seems to me to be far more doms wanting subs than subs wanting doms so the market is skewed in the subs favour so they can be demanding and are demanding.

Personally I have a life style I'm not going to change to attract a sub and if I can't find a sub that isn't willing to bend to my life style I really don't care. Scening is fun and having a sub is great but I'm not going to compromise my life style just to service a so called sub. My soul is my own and its going to stay that way.

(in reply to ICGsteve)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/16/2006 6:58:13 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Sublizzie said it all for me..The tone of the profile is entirely in the mind of the reader.If reader takes it as demanding and belligerent then that is what is seen..maybe not meant, but readers interpretation of it.This could stem from readers attitude that day,this could be a result of a past experience who knows?..so what comes off as demanding could simply be informative..be well.Tempting

(in reply to sublizzie)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/16/2006 7:02:30 PM   
wild1cfl


Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		I agree, why do many people think that just because a submissive or slave states what she wants in her profile that she is being demanding. When yo go looking for a car do you not tell the salesman exactly what you want that car to include, otherwise you just get whatever is on the lot.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/16/2006 7:03:17 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

I've always thought the terms 'sub' and 'dom' are misnomers. Most subs I have met aren't submissive but want to be submissive whilst scening which really means they are looking for someone they call a 'dom' to service them, which means they aren't really looking to be dominated at all. I think more often than not it is the 'dom' that is tethered to the leash rather than the sub.  There seems to me to be far more doms wanting subs than subs wanting doms so the market is skewed in the subs favour so they can be demanding and are demanding.

Personally I have a life style I'm not going to change to attract a sub and if I can't find a sub that isn't willing to bend to my life style I really don't care. Scening is fun and having a sub is great but I'm not going to compromise my life style just to service a so called sub. My soul is my own and its going to stay that way.
..This just tells me that you have not met the right submissive for you.Or you have been burnt royally in the past..I wish you well..Tempting

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/16/2006 7:47:35 PM   
sultryvoice


Posts: 368
Joined: 3/31/2004
Status: offline 		In my profile, the first sentence is rather demanding..It states I will not relocate..I had it nicely at the end of my profile but most emails I have received were expecting me to relocate. I won't and I can't.

I do say what I am looking for. I put a lot of thought into my profiles and I won't settle for just anyone. At my age, I have learned from my mistakes and I don't wish to relive them. If it means I have to be without someone, so be it. I am extremely self-reliant and independent. I just want a companion, someone who understands and has things in common with me and I with him. Not having those commonalities, the relationship will not work for long..

So, if anyone wants a happy union, you have to state what you want and need. Setting limits is just the way to go. These profiles are only a synopsis of ourselves. When we get to know another, more will come out but, we need to state some things to get the attention, a starting point.

Respectfully,
sultry

_____________________________

Blessed are the cracked,
For it is they who let in the light.


www.themarkbycpi.com

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/17/2006 7:09:00 AM   
MontaukDaisies


Posts: 130
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		Well.. I just added to my profile. It may sound a bit harsh, I hemmed and hawed about the changes before I hit the "update" button. I find that I fine tune my profile when things go awry in the relationship/friendship I was previously in. Does that make sense?

_____________________________

~The true measure of a Man is to notice what He does when no one else is looking, when He is guided by His own sense of right and wrong.~

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/17/2006 4:08:02 PM   
misfire


Posts: 55
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Greenville, SC
Status: offline 		My profile used to be kinda demanding -- but the tone in which it was written sounded playful to me.  Some folks did get in a tizzy about it, so I rewrote it -- just put it up, actually.  It's much more polite than it used to be.. here's to hoping that some folks'll actually read it this time.  ;)

(in reply to MontaukDaisies)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/17/2006 6:41:56 PM   
MontaukDaisies


Posts: 130
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wild1cfl

I agree, why do many people think that just because a submissive or slave states what she wants in her profile that she is being demanding. When yo go looking for a car do you not tell the salesman exactly what you want that car to include, otherwise you just get whatever is on the lot.


I like this analogy A LOT!

_____________________________

~The true measure of a Man is to notice what He does when no one else is looking, when He is guided by His own sense of right and wrong.~

(in reply to wild1cfl)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Is it Possible for a Sub/Slave to be Demanding in t... - 4/17/2006 6:44:42 PM   
sjacket


Posts: 152
Joined: 1/4/2004
Status: offline 		If I wasn't demanding, I would still be with someone I would have been unhappy with....  now I am with the Owner/Love I was destined for.  Being a sub or slave DOES NOT mean one must be unhappy.  If I wanted to be unhappy,I would still be 'nilla.  No thanks. I'll take joy anytime.

_____________________________

Have you hugged your Sadist today?

(in reply to MistyMenthal)
Profile   Post #: 54
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