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LadyMorgynn -> RE: What does the Domme do for the sub? (4/17/2006 5:21:39 PM)
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This is going to vary wildly from any Domme and sub, and could even be way different between a Domme and different subs, depending on the relationship. And I must say, I am awed by your ability to be articulate even while under the influence :)
So here is how I perceive MY responsibility towards MY slave (and I'm not saying this is how it is or should be between other Dommes and subs/slaves):
My FIRST responsibility to my slave is to put his welfare first. Yes, I know this sounds at odds with the fact that It's All About Me. It's a dichotomy I can't explain. He has given all control and responsibility over his life into my hands. He TRUSTS me. It is my responsibility to live up to that trust.
What else do I do for my slave? I create the *space* for him to be the slave that he craves to be (why else would he be a slave, after all?). I give him a kindly (but firm) Mistress to obey, I give him rules and restrictions, I give him rewards, I give him punishments. He always knows where he stands, he knows what his place in life is, because I have created this place in life for him to fulfill.
I help my slave to be all that he can be. I help him to explore his career, his personal goals, educational goals. Does he want to rise to supervisor? Get that Master's degree? Did he always wish he could have learned to draw, or tie fly lures? Does he want to quit smoking? I help him to identify, or at least create the space for him to communicate honestly with me to be able to tell me, what he wants. Then I set him onto the path of discovery: is this a practical goal? is it achievable? What change would this goal make in his life? our relationship? We discuss these things, and if he wishes to proceed, I support him, I enable him: it's up to me to arrange study (or whatever) time in our schedule and hold him to it; to make sure he is taking the steps he needs to take. I push him and command him, I keep him encouraged and on course in order to achieve that which he wishes.
I provide a stable environment, and take away those responsibilities that he found so burdensome. I provide a home, food, utilities, clothes, necessitites. Yes, he has to work and provide half the income. But he no longer needs to worry about finances. That's my job. Yes, he has to write out the checks for me to sign every month. But ultimately, I'm the one who makes sure the money is there. I may delegate some of these responsibilities back onto him but they no longer carry the same weight, because he is pleasing me by doing them. The only responsibility he has, is to do as I say.
For instance, writing out the checks. Every month, here come the bills, you have to go through them and write checks and you dread it every time. But as a slave, it becomes something else. First, every day he has to sort out the bills from the other mail and put them in their particular place. Then once a month I will instruct him to write out the checks, which he does, paperclips them with the (stamped) envelope to the bill stub, and presents them for my approval and signature. Then he puts the check and stub in the envelop and puts it in the outgoing mail, and files away the paid bills, all under my watchful eye. He hasn't just done all this because it was a tiresome responsibility that he had to get done. He's just done it because his Mistress told him to do it, and he has pleased her by doing so, and he has the glow of knowing that he's pleased her. She's happy, he's happy, the utility companies and the bank are happy. Oh yeah! LOL.
I take away the need for him to make decisions, both large and small. He will never again have to decide what to wear, or if he should grow a beard, or if it's time for a haircut. I decide these things for him. Vacation... Where will we go, and for how long? Do we have the time? the money? who will feed the cats and ferret? I get to struggle with these decisions. Yes, I will ask his input (or not <grin>), and we may have lengthy discussions while I make the decision... but ultimately, the decisions are mine, right/wrong/pass/fail.
Vanilla fun and humiliation. I have a full and active life (home and social), and he will be at my side (or one step behind me) for every moment of it. Vanilla fun such as going out to dinner may be given a deliciously humilating edge by sending the slave to another table to eat, or feeding him bites off my plate, or not feeding him at all but taking a doggie bag home for him. Going to the mall in a t-shirt emblazoned with "SLAVE" across it in big letters. Pedicure Parties at home for my vanilla girlfriends. Being loaned to my daughter to clean her dorm room at college (I never realized how many slaves would think this was absolutely HOT, but so it is! LOL).
Best of all, I provide him with the chance to be what he craves more than anything in the world. A slave. I give him a Mistress to obey, to adore, to serve, to please. I give him a slave's place, at My feet, a place he wishes for with all his heart. And because he pleases Me and takes care of Me in many little and big ways, he knows that he is cared for, treasured, protected. He is content and fulfilled, with his Mistress standing as a buffer between him and the madding world.
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