RE: Proper protocol if any? (Full Version)

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CanadianGuy -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/16/2006 12:58:03 AM)

First line of defense - have her profile say not to email he if you're male.
Second - Bulk email options can be set up to not allow emails from males.
Third - Tell her to show you and/or delete all emails from males.
Fourth - Put any males which email her on the ignore list.

It's not that difficult.




GentlemannDom -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/16/2006 2:08:38 AM)

I want to thank all of you here who posted so quickly. I talked with a few friends here and all of them said two things....delete/block or send a note to the stupid arse and give him your two cents.

I personaly would love to out the person on the forums, but guess there are rules for this?  It would be nice to weed out the fakes on this site by doing so, but guess one can never realy get rid of stupid arses like this one eh?

I regulary check her mails, though I do let her handle most mails herself.  She is a good at that, I just found it f'ing amazing that a so called "Master" totaly ignored the fact that she is taken already.   But then I'm still new the to the scene and I'm sure I'll see plenty of horror and cannot believe my eye storys as time progresses.

Thanks all..

Michael




acctonthelook -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/16/2006 2:32:39 AM)

Anyone lacking protocol is just that lacking.  Unfortunately the internet is not a entity we can control or submit to.  Not the first time I've said that one.  Good day and Good luck. (smiles)




ExistentialSteel -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/16/2006 7:57:27 AM)

Obis, Ownedgirlie and a few others, are saying pretty much what I implied. You have to trust the slave enough to handle emails, polite ones or otherwise. If she becomes weak and falls into long discussions with the Dom(me), wouldn't you want to know that she was that unloyal to you before you made deeper committments?

Sure there is an etiquette line there not to be crossed by other Doms, but the onus is also on your slave to know where it is. If your relationship is strong, she will politely handle such contacts in one or two emails and ignore the rest. If she becomes involved in close, back and forth, emails or something, you need to move on.

In my opinion, you have to create a relationship where she will not want to become involved with talking with other Doms, but if she does want to, there is really nothing you can do about it except move on. She can hide things easily enough.




ownedgirlie -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/16/2006 8:39:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel

Obis, Ownedgirlie and a few others, are saying pretty much what I implied. You have to trust the slave enough to handle emails, polite ones or otherwise. If she becomes weak and falls into long discussions with the Dom(me), wouldn't you want to know that she was that unloyal to you before you made deeper committments?

Don't get me wrong...i did say that in the beginning, there may well be reasons to not allow the submissive to receive/send emails to/from other Dominants.  For some (but not all), in the early days of creating a bond, it may be a good idea to put such a rule in place.  It is only after such bond is formed when the rule would be evaluated.  In some cases, the rule is always in place. We as outsiders shouldn't assume it's because the Dominant is on a head trip.  Unless we know and understand the inner makings of a relationship, being different than "how I would do it" does not necessarily mean bad.   However, if there is a rule in place and the submissive disobeys it, she shines a spotlight on a crack in the relationship.

quote:


Sure there is an etiquette line there not to be crossed by other Doms, but the onus is also on your slave to know where it is. If your relationship is strong, she will politely handle such contacts in one or two emails and ignore the rest. If she becomes involved in close, back and forth, emails or something, you need to move on.

Except for when allowed, right?  In my case, the bond is cemented strong.  i am allowed conversations with anyone.  If a close friendship is developed with another Dominant, my Master knows about it.  If he decides i should discontinue such a friendship, then i will.

quote:


In my opinion, you have to create a relationship where she will not want to become involved with talking with other Doms, but if she does want to, there is really nothing you can do about it except move on. She can hide things easily enough.

Change the verbiage to "she will not want to become involved submissively with other Doms" and i'm with you 100%.  However if the rule is do not talk to others at all, and she still has a yearning to, then the Dominant must assess if he can shift her thinking otherwise.  If he can not, THEN he may assess moving on.  Often in the early days of a submissive's relationship to her Dominant, she is still assessing herself, and finding her footing, and at times struggling with the release of her own power.  This is particularly the case with "new" submissives.  It might take her (or him) some time to transform her mindset from "me-centric" to "Him-centric."  There is often nothing wrong with a submissive having her own wants, depending on how she responds to them.  In time, a slave's wants tend to become her Master's.  But that does not usually happen right out of the starting gate.




feastie -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/16/2006 8:53:43 AM)

The extent to which you can control other males and doms is limited to the ignore feature. You can only control yourself and your girl.  Use the ignore feature.  If you can't do that or it still bothers you to the extent you feel the need to post it publically and ask for help, then perhaps the off button on the computer is a better choice.




twicehappy -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/16/2006 8:56:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GentlemannDom

I'm curious about something,  when a submissive states on her profilie "Any males or doms that wish to talk to me, must first contact my dom "GentlemannDom" and ask permission to talk to me".


I do not make this statement on my profile. i simply state i am collared. I assume that most Doms/Dommes would respect this and request permission to speak with me through either of my owners. The only exception my owners or i find acceptable to this is if they are responding to an email i 1st sent them or simply extending a compliment on a post. To us this is the proper protocol.

quote:

If a dom or male still emails her afterwards this is improper protocol or what?  I'm confused by this, would realy like to know what  should be done about the doms/masters who still insist on emailing my sub even though she has this on her profile


To email a sub/slave after reading this statement is improper. It is possible they did not read her profile with said statement and simply saw her name on a post. To my mind and that of both my owners your sub/slave should inform you of any such contact immediately. At which point you should email the Dom/Domme involved and politely inform them your girl is collared and inquire why they contacted her. If they persist in emailing her anyway you need to contact them and tell them to stop in much less polite terminology.

If all else fails you can always block the sender.

My Master and Mistress have done this on a few occasions, so far one email directly to the offending dominant in question has stopped this sort of behavior dead in its tracks.

I must state here that this sort of thing is a rare occurrence; for the most part the Doms/Dommes who wished to contact me did so through the proper channels and were quickly granted this permission. My owners and i all appreciated this graceful display of manners, and i am pleased to say i have made a few good friends this way.





puppygirlME -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/16/2006 11:09:55 AM)

:)




TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/16/2006 12:48:01 PM)

Thank you ownedgirlie...I never understood the concept of why Dominants did not want their grown submissives to handle such things.You have quite informatively and understandably answered this question..again Thank you..be well..Tempting.




ownedgirlie -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/16/2006 1:04:34 PM)

Thank you Tempting...i am glad my words offered a different perspective. While i received a lot of ridicule from others when such a rule was placed on me in our beginining months together, i was grateful for the rule. 




Sensualips -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/16/2006 2:09:15 PM)

quote:

I personaly would love to out the person on the forums, but guess there are rules for this?  It would be nice to weed out the fakes on this site by doing so, but guess one can never realy get rid of stupid arses like this one eh?


Out them for what?  Not reading a profile completely before emailing?  Or for disregarding something in the profile?  And does either of these automatically make him a fake? Careless or rude or perhaps even disrespectful, but hardly anything to spend more than a passing moment of righteous indignation and outrage over. I'd try not to stress over it.

Yes, there are rules that do not allow you to directly make negative comments regarding another poster.  However, I think by implenting one of the "ignore" or "block" suggestions you could rid yourself of the guy fairly easily. 

quote:

I just found it f'ing amazing that a so called "Master" totaly ignored the fact that she is taken already. 


I predict you will continue to be amazed in the future, in new and varied ways.




fyreredsub -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/16/2006 2:12:26 PM)

Master was on my acct thurs morning doing his thing in there and some Dom emailed  me with the 'ya wanna chat' typical email....ooooohhhhhhhhh,
i was giggling for 10 minutes that he had emailed Master.[:D]

but basically it is a lack of respect on the part of the one doing and it its even worse when they hunt you down on IM after your Master said to block them.




kyraofMists -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/16/2006 2:48:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel
Obis, Ownedgirlie and a few others, are saying pretty much what I implied. You have to trust the slave enough to handle emails, polite ones or otherwise. If she becomes weak and falls into long discussions with the Dom(me), wouldn't you want to know that she was that unloyal to you before you made deeper committments?

Don't get me wrong...i did say that in the beginning, there may well be reasons to not allow the submissive to receive/send emails to/from other Dominants.  For some (but not all), in the early days of creating a bond, it may be a good idea to put such a rule in place.  It is only after such bond is formed when the rule would be evaluated.  In some cases, the rule is always in place. We as outsiders shouldn't assume it's because the Dominant is on a head trip.  Unless we know and understand the inner makings of a relationship, being different than "how I would do it" does not necessarily mean bad.   However, if there is a rule in place and the submissive disobeys it, she shines a spotlight on a crack in the relationship.


To add another possibility to these...  My profile specifically requests that anyone who wants to contact me should first contact my Lord.  This rule is not in place because I am not trusted, because he doesn't want me to interact with other dominants or so we can solidify our relationship.  For my Lord it is a simple test to see if someone will respect my boundaries.  It is a test that many fail.  I deal with them as I see fit or my Lord will deal with some of them.  Typically it is delete and move on.  On the other hand, I am allowed to initiate any interactions that I want as long as it does not interfer with my availability to my Lord.  

Knight's kyra




Tikkiee -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/16/2006 6:46:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

The extent to which you can control other males and doms is limited to the ignore feature. You can only control yourself and your girl.  Use the ignore feature.  If you can't do that or it still bothers you to the extent you feel the need to post it publically and ask for help, then perhaps the off button on the computer is a better choice.

Feastie Ma'am, I am inclined to agree with you [:)]




GentlemannDom -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/17/2006 2:25:16 AM)

Well how about this..the dude is not Man enough to apologize to me and has blocked me.  Now sure he might have made a mistake, but seriously the notation to contact me is within the first paragraph of my subs profile.  Not easily missed. I guess I could put it in flashing red lights, with large arrows pointing at it, though I seriouisly doubt this will  help, its why there is a website for darwins awards as folks are amazingly stupid.

Well I had vent here, and got some good responses from folks to let me know that its not alright, though I guess this is the net, and sure he might be a TRUE master, though in my eyes he ain't...but then this is AMERICA and we still have the right to disagree right? 

hehehee...

Oh well, now back to my sub and the paddle.....weeha!




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/17/2006 6:39:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GentlemannDom
Well I had vent here, and got some good responses from folks to let me know that its not alright, though I guess this is the net, and sure he might be a TRUE master, though in my eyes he ain't...but then this is AMERICA and we still have the right to disagree right? 

hehehee...
Oh well, now back to my sub and the paddle.....weeha!

No this is collarme.

The fact that you got all worked up and would actually consider outing someone just because they did something mildly inappropriate with ZERO impact on your actual life sounds like you put wayyy too much energy into trying to control others or have a far too high opinion of yourself.




GentlemannDom -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/17/2006 11:04:24 AM)

Give me a break LuckyAlbatross, I'm not that much into controling anyone. I felt as if someone had spit in my direction with the ingoring of protocol. Plan and simple. But hey you have your opinion and I have mine.  What you see as mildy I found more like middle of the line rude.    And yes you are right, it had Zero impact on my life or hers.  I have no high opinion of myself either. Ask my sub, I'm about as easy going as one could get.  Just the ignoring of proper protocol got my feathers ruffled a bit, because where I am from, it would have been deemed a very bad thing.  But hey, this as you say is "Collarme" and there will always be those that don't spend the time to read, spend the time to care, or just don't know proper protocol.

And life goes on....






crouchingtigress -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/17/2006 11:49:35 AM)

Ask for money to return the email, its win win, most will never reply back to such a rude obtuse response and for the few that do, well hey ya make a few bucks.
 
Dear Sir, I charge 5 dollars to reply to any unsolicited emails, here is my pay pal account, a reply will be sent when I get confirmation that payment has been recieved.....~laughs~




ExistentialSteel -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/17/2006 1:06:53 PM)

Crouchingtigress...you bad.




GentlemannDom -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/17/2006 9:59:42 PM)

Very funny  Crouchingtigress, I get the point in your humor.......I wonder if that would work ? Guess one could try and see how many doms/masters would be willing to pay to get a response from a sub/slave....hmmm....




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