ownedgirlie -> RE: Proper protocol if any? (4/16/2006 8:39:24 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel Obis, Ownedgirlie and a few others, are saying pretty much what I implied. You have to trust the slave enough to handle emails, polite ones or otherwise. If she becomes weak and falls into long discussions with the Dom(me), wouldn't you want to know that she was that unloyal to you before you made deeper committments? Don't get me wrong...i did say that in the beginning, there may well be reasons to not allow the submissive to receive/send emails to/from other Dominants. For some (but not all), in the early days of creating a bond, it may be a good idea to put such a rule in place. It is only after such bond is formed when the rule would be evaluated. In some cases, the rule is always in place. We as outsiders shouldn't assume it's because the Dominant is on a head trip. Unless we know and understand the inner makings of a relationship, being different than "how I would do it" does not necessarily mean bad. However, if there is a rule in place and the submissive disobeys it, she shines a spotlight on a crack in the relationship. quote:
Sure there is an etiquette line there not to be crossed by other Doms, but the onus is also on your slave to know where it is. If your relationship is strong, she will politely handle such contacts in one or two emails and ignore the rest. If she becomes involved in close, back and forth, emails or something, you need to move on. Except for when allowed, right? In my case, the bond is cemented strong. i am allowed conversations with anyone. If a close friendship is developed with another Dominant, my Master knows about it. If he decides i should discontinue such a friendship, then i will. quote:
In my opinion, you have to create a relationship where she will not want to become involved with talking with other Doms, but if she does want to, there is really nothing you can do about it except move on. She can hide things easily enough. Change the verbiage to "she will not want to become involved submissively with other Doms" and i'm with you 100%. However if the rule is do not talk to others at all, and she still has a yearning to, then the Dominant must assess if he can shift her thinking otherwise. If he can not, THEN he may assess moving on. Often in the early days of a submissive's relationship to her Dominant, she is still assessing herself, and finding her footing, and at times struggling with the release of her own power. This is particularly the case with "new" submissives. It might take her (or him) some time to transform her mindset from "me-centric" to "Him-centric." There is often nothing wrong with a submissive having her own wants, depending on how she responds to them. In time, a slave's wants tend to become her Master's. But that does not usually happen right out of the starting gate.
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