Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (Full Version)

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Toppingfrmbottom -> Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/7/2010 4:51:36 PM)

The director of the sewing group called me today to say that her and every member of the group doesn't think I fit their needs, since everything they do,* they knit, crochet, quilt, and do other home made items, like soft baby toys, for the needy* I either didn't think I could do or didn't like to do, despite the fact I was more than willing to make the soft baby toys, and baby quilts, and be a fabric stash donater,  so that those who did knit and quilt, could continue to do so, and don't come any more.


I tried to learn the quilting and got hung up on the very first step, and Pat didn't have the time to help me more than a moments instruction and then you're on your own, and she gotannoyed at me for needing more help than a brief instruction and you're on your own.


I told Pat, well do you need baby bibs, I am an absolute wiz at making baby bibs, baby receiving blankets, and I can sew soft toys.

She said she didn't know if they did need bibs and receiving blankets, but go ahead make some up and she'll see if any of the places she donates would like them.

So an agreement was on that that's what I'd do.


So the call today was, very un expected.


I was willing to donate a ton of s hit to them, and would bring stuff I could do, easily with no help from any one, because the place gets so busy, there's literally no time for someone to instruct you to much, and P said well, we can't buy you your flannel you need for your projects, since we get all our fabric and stuff from people who want to donate, and when I told her I never asked you to, she said well it's not just that, it's everything, and that I needed to much one on one help to learn to do things out side of the sewing I COULD do. So again, the whole group has decided I am not right for their needs. Perhaps I'd do better in a church sewing  group.



It's stupid, P didn't even give me a chance to learn anything, P knew I  had bought a bunch of fabric to quilt with, and was willing to give it a second try , since I never got beyond trying to learn to cut the fabric, and it drove me nuts because no matter what I tried I couldn't cut it strait, and I think the problem was the material I was using was all different sizes, and she said that's ok maybe it';s not for me, and there's no shame in that. Well I went out and bought my own material, and wanted to try again P KNEW I wanted to try again, I told her,  and with the hand quilting on the quilts, they said it was ok I couldn't do the stitches as small as they should be to look right, in time I'd learn.


What ever, They just fucked themselves out of a wonderful resource for donations, and charity work, and a helping hand.  I had already donated them 4 bags of mostly brand new yarn, from my mom, and  I have already donated a bunch of fabric, and I was working on getting more for them, but hey they don't deserve it, if this is how they're going to roll.

I'll go back to selling what I make, or giving it to friends, it's no skin off my nose. They have only hurt themselves.


I told daddy they kicked me out and he said well maybe if you still want to donate to them, they could still be a donation outlet, and I said no. After this I am not supporting their organization.



Aylee -> RE: Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/7/2010 4:56:06 PM)

If you are willing to ship things, there is an organization here in Lawrence, Kansas that I support.  I am sure that they would be more than happy to recieve anything that you wanted to make.  The lady that runs it is very nice and I cannot see her giving you any grief.  Heck, any of the ladies working there are very friendly.  Let me know if you want the information.



girlygurl -> RE: Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/7/2010 4:59:36 PM)

TFB I'm sure there will be other centers/agencies that would welcome your help.



Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/7/2010 5:13:34 PM)

Aylee, I used to ship things, it got very very expensive, with having to buy the stuff, and then pay shipping. However, I wouldn't mind being an occasional donor to them, and being a rallying  and supportive force. So, please send the info and thank you.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

If you are willing to ship things, there is an organization here in Lawrence, Kansas that I support.  I am sure that they would be more than happy to recieve anything that you wanted to make.  The lady that runs it is very nice and I cannot see her giving you any grief.  Heck, any of the ladies working there are very friendly.  Let me know if you want the information.



Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/7/2010 5:16:49 PM)

girly, yeah, there always is. However I really liked this one because it was super close by, hell if I was in better shape and it wasn't so hot I could of walked to their meeting location, and that it was local, so close, and you didn't have to buy your own supplies, ECHO provided everything you needed, meant that it was less of a financial burden to donate.


Thanks guys, Aylee and you girly, for the replies, it's nice to be able to vent, and not have douch bags jumping all over you like on fetlife, if you dare vent there.


quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

TFB I'm sure there will be other centers/agencies that would welcome your help.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/7/2010 7:54:30 PM)

Wow. That fails big time. I am sorry that they felt that way, and how tacky to not even tell you to your face.

There are lots of little charities that need stuff, probably in your area. I know I am always reading about places that want small items from little blankets to hats to whatever. Or you can start your own group!



DesFIP -> RE: Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/7/2010 8:06:59 PM)

Is there anyplace nearby that offers classes in quilting and the other skills? You need more help than they can give you. It's a pity you're a bad fit for their group, but that's all it is. They aren't teaching this, just doing and you need a teacher.



tropicalhoney -> RE: Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/7/2010 10:16:42 PM)

Quilting by hand takes lots and lots of practice - no one can take those small, regular stitches when first attempting it. Keep up your spirits. Maybe you can find a group that would like to learn together.



Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/8/2010 5:53:51 PM)

Truthfully I rather get a call then get Daddy to take me to their location, drop me off, get told, and then have to get my parents to come get me. Saves me the wasted gas to call me on the phone than tell me in person.


But normally yeah, telling people things like that on the phone is kind of rude.

I've tried to start my own sewing groups, and when i was going to church, I tried getting the church involved, and there was zero interest in it.

Ironic since most churches have their fingers in a ton of charity pies and charitable actions, like womens ministry and praying for those sick and in need, and taking flowers to those members of the church in the hospital or laid low.

If I  get the donation bug, there's always hospitals, and there's always snail mailing packages places. That's what I did before this group.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Wow. That fails big time. I am sorry that they felt that way, and how tacky to not even tell you to your face.

There are lots of little charities that need stuff, probably in your area. I know I am always reading about places that want small items from little blankets to hats to whatever. Or you can start your own group!



monochromaniac -> RE: Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/8/2010 6:03:40 PM)

It's very frustrating when you want to help and it just seems as if it's not needed - I hate not being old enough to volunteer at my local homeless shelter >.<
I wish I could give you some sort of contact details for somewhere that'd happily recieve the things you make but since I'm not in the US I'm really not the best person to ask.
I do, however, volunteer at an Oxfam charity shop and we get a lot of lovely generous people like you bringing in things like baby clothes and blankets they've made, and we send the items off where they're needed...I'm not sure there's a similar thing near you (do you even have charity shops over there? I've never seen one) but I don't think it'll do any harm to look.



Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/8/2010 6:03:51 PM)

Des, there are places that teach quilting yes, and my mom quilts, The original plans was for me to learn from my mom with a bit of instruction of P, the leader and then for me to try again.

Also P has taken members home with her to teach them how to  quilt in her own free time. She spent 7 hours the first week I was there, teaching another young lady close to my age how to quilt, and told me eventually she'd take me home with her and teach me on her own time.  I think eventually she was just plain un willing to teach me because I annoyed her with how slow I picked up on things sometimes.



It's more than just not knowing how to quilt, P said it was ok  I couldn't quilt by hand, that ANY sewing project I knew how to do and could do on my own mostly was fine and wonderful. Everything was going good, I had a bunch of stuff I was working on 100 percent on my own, I showed P what I was working on and she liked it spent a whole 4 hours on my own, with no help from any one cutting and pinning and working.


Time for the end of the day came, I packed up helped clean up went home.

. I called P to tell her Wednesday I couldn't come, I didn't have a ride, but I am on for next week. She said thanks for letting her know, see you next week.

Then Wednesday* I called her on a Tuesday* She says the group and I have talked about it and I and the whole group feel you shouldn't come any more, and cited that I just didn't fit their needs, and that they can't buy me the supplies for me to continue doing the projects I was doing, which I never asked them to do, I even told P I'd buy my own supplies, and she said well it's not just the issue of supplies, it's everything else too..


To be told bring what you can, we're more than happy to have it, and you, then told no sorry, you don't fit our needs don't come any more, to me smacked of a cop out.  I think, honestly, I just annoyed P with my questions and not getting the stuff down pat with just bare instructions , and she got tired of me.

And really I doubt the whole group, all 35 of them decided I didn't belong there, because there were a few ladies, that really seemed to have liked me and enjoyed me being there, and enjoyed my contributions.

Also, I told P I'd sew the baby toys they sometimes make, why did she tell me that'd be wonderful, and then turn around and say don't come any more, anything we do, you either can't do or don't want to, when I made it 100 percent crystal clear I'd love to sew the toys for them?

Again I just get the feeling the whole " you don't fit our needs" line was a cop out.

I'd be ok with it if I didn't truely fit their needs, but the thing is, I sewed, and they needed people to sew soft baby toys, so even if I couldn't hand quilt, Or cut strips to sew baby quilts from scratch, I DID fit the need of someone to sew baby toys.


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Is there anyplace nearby that offers classes in quilting and the other skills? You need more help than they can give you. It's a pity you're a bad fit for their group, but that's all it is. They aren't teaching this, just doing and you need a teacher.



Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/8/2010 6:38:25 PM)

I don't know if we do, We have Salvation Army, but they're not a charity store, and we have good wills and thrift stores and stuff, but again, I'm not sure if they are what you're talking about.

quote:

ORIGINAL: monochromaniac

I'm not sure there's a similar thing near you (do you even have charity shops over there? I've never seen one) but I don't think it'll do any harm to look.




Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/8/2010 6:41:21 PM)

Thank you tropical honey.

The stitch you're supposed to do is called a running stitch, and I am used to what's called a punch stitch, you go  down through the fabric,  then up, then down, then up and then down.

Now those I can do hella tiny, and for a while D * she was the one that supervised those of us just learning to hand quilt* P and D were sisters* said it was ok to do that, PROVIDED I could keep my stitches strait, and I could  but you're not supposed to do that kind of stitch, because a lot of people do their stitches crooked and on a slant, and it looks awful. You're better off learning to do the running stitch, and get in good form habit. So since i couldn't make the running stitch small enough, and I didn't want to do a bunch of stitching that had to be ripped out,* and it would of had to have been ripped out* because it was huge and awful, I just didn't work on the hand quilting.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tropicalhoney

Quilting by hand takes lots and lots of practice - no one can take those small, regular stitches when first attempting it. Keep up your spirits. Maybe you can find a group that would like to learn together.



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/8/2010 6:47:27 PM)

Sorry TFB but I find it hard to believe this simply came out of the blue. Surely there is SOMETHING that brought this on?



Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/8/2010 7:08:00 PM)

Like I said, Tuesday, it was  was "ok see you next week", and then next day I got a call saying you don't meet our needs.

Like I also said I think I annoyed her so she just cut me loose with the excuse that everything they do, I either can't do or don't want to do, which wasn't true. I was willing to sew the soft toys they made to donate, and I was willing to sew baby bibs and baby blankets. Which P had originally said would be awesome.



quote:

Sorry TFB but I find it hard to believe this simply came out of the blue. Surely there is SOMETHING that brought this on?



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/8/2010 7:21:17 PM)

so this was out of the blue? Sorry, but again hard to believe



Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Apparently , what I can do, and am more than willing to do wasn't enough for this charity leader (7/8/2010 8:10:47 PM)

Yup, It was, and you don't have to believe me, it won't be the first time you called me a liar, or hinted that I was one, and your disbelieve doesn't bother me none, nor change how it happened.

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

so this was out of the blue? Sorry, but again hard to believe



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