Scammers (Full Version)

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TrophyWife -> Scammers (7/8/2010 5:21:29 PM)

I am new to this site and very quickly got scammed (like, within 24 hours of joining). Technically, the guy did nothing illegal however internet searches provided MULTIPLE posts warning women about this guy on dontdatehimgirl.com. Seems the scam and lies he started telling me is a very elaborate story he has been weaving on vanilla sites under other aliases going back to 1999. But he is now doing it here.

His contacting of me here has nothing overtly offensive or reportable, but where he takes it once contact is established is psychotic and abusive and seems to have happened to dozens of other victims (some of whom have given him money). Is there any place within this community to warn other ladies of this predator?



LadyPact -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 5:25:00 PM)

If you didn't give him any money, he didn't scam you.  At least that's My understanding of the term.  Exactly what is your definition of scam?



mstrjx -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 5:28:26 PM)

<----- <goes to see if his name shows up on dontdatemegirl.com>

You actually haven't been scammed, per se. You ran up against someone who isn't genuine, or so you believe, but we all encounter that from time to time. Some more often than others.

I have seen where people, in their profile or journal mentions profile names by name, but I suspect your profile would get yanked pretty quick. And who's to say that your target audience would even see it.

Don't concern yourself. Be glad nothing serious happened to you. And don't look over your shoulder.

Jeff



TrophyWife -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 5:30:28 PM)

Based on the history I read elsewhere of his antics, he was setting me up to get money. I simply discovered his M.O. before it got that far. Multiple other victims reported losing tens of thousands of dollars to his scam and it seems he simply starts over and over again with the same story until he baits a victim.

Isn't that a scam?



mstrjx -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 5:35:08 PM)

Firstly, I didn't know this other website existed.

Secondly, I'm not sure how you knew to go checking at this other website.

Thirdly, neither of your posts say anything about him overtly (as in, directly to you) asking you for money.

Fourthly, I'd try to see where on your profile it seems that you are apt to get scammed, but .... well, we all know how that goes.

Jeff



LadyPact -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 5:38:25 PM)

This is going over about as well as the folks who feel the need to create a post to warn other users about profiles from Nigeria.

If the guy didn't get any money out of you personally, he didn't scam you.  He may have found people in the past that were dumb enough to do that.  However, since you didn't give him any money, you're not really standing on the pillar of fact here.  You're just looking to repeat what other people told you, most likely on the net.

Considering you were smart enough not to fall for it, don't you think other people will have the brains to do the same thing? 



TrophyWife -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 5:48:23 PM)

Jeff;
Firstly, I didn't either. The man was proposing marriage after nine days of discussion and I became suspicious and googled other information he had provided. That was when I found out that there were several dozen listings on him.

Secondly, read the Firstly. It is a new site for me.

Thirdly, I *believe* that is where our conversations were leading based on how similar what transpired between us was how he got money out of other women. It hadn't happened yet but I have every reason to believe that is where it was headed.

Fourthly, I have hidden my profile as He Demanded it of me as my new Dom. Doubt I'll open myself up to another potential predator.



mstrjx -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 6:01:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TrophyWife

Doubt I'll open myself up to another potential predator.

Forgive me for doubting you, and allow me to set aside my briefcase of snark. (Don't make me open it again.)

In the end. you're not as gullible as you appeared to be to him, and nothing terribly egregious has happened.

But you are 'here' (on CM) for a reason, I suppose. He (the schemer) isn't really your Dom any more and you can go on about your business. Open your profile up again, if you want. Guaranteed not everybody in CMland is all they claim to be, but certainly not everybody is a malcontent.

Seems you have a reasonable head on your shoulders. Use it.

Jeff



AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 6:08:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

<----- <goes to see if his name shows up on dontdatemegirl.com>

Jeff


I did the exact same thing.

LOL



juliaoceania -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 6:11:34 PM)

Is this an ad for dontdatehimgirl.com?




TrophyWife -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 6:23:51 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Is this an ad for dontdatehimgirl.com?




No. But I will retire quietly and move along.



Missokyst -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 6:33:00 PM)

Personally, I think people that jump into scams are nearly as culpable as the offender. If people are that desperate that they fall for a line from someone so quickly, they seriously need to get stung a few times. Call me heartless but dang it, I hate it when people blame others for mistakes they willingly make. Would I give money (huge sums I mean) to someone I barely knew? HELL NO. Would I give money to someone who did a fast rush to romance and committment.. HELL NO. Would I write to some convict and fall in love with a serial killer because he has cute eyes? HELL NO.
PEOPLE need to take some responsibility for the choices they make. And if it means getting bitten a few times, then hopefully they develop better life skills.

So far, you did not get scammed. You did what people should do.. look at it calmly and say HELL NO.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TrophyWife

Jeff;
Firstly, I didn't either. The man was proposing marriage after nine days of discussion and I became suspicious and googled other information he had provided. That was when I found out that there were several dozen listings on him.

Secondly, read the Firstly. It is a new site for me.

Thirdly, I *believe* that is where our conversations were leading based on how similar what transpired between us was how he got money out of other women. It hadn't happened yet but I have every reason to believe that is where it was headed.

Fourthly, I have hidden my profile as He Demanded it of me as my new Dom. Doubt I'll open myself up to another potential predator.




LafayetteLady -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 6:47:58 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TrophyWife

Jeff;
Firstly, I didn't either. The man was proposing marriage after nine days of discussion and I became suspicious and googled other information he had provided. That was when I found out that there were several dozen listings on him.

Secondly, read the Firstly. It is a new site for me.

Thirdly, I *believe* that is where our conversations were leading based on how similar what transpired between us was how he got money out of other women. It hadn't happened yet but I have every reason to believe that is where it was headed.

Fourthly, I have hidden my profile as He Demanded it of me as my new Dom. Doubt I'll open myself up to another potential predator.


You knew this guy NINE DAYS and allowed him to "claim" you and make demands as "your" dom? Had you even met the guy face to face?

Look, you can't rely on sites like that because anyone who is angry could list something horrible without any verification. Regardless of that, do you think you set yourself up for trouble just a bit by letting someone you have only known for 9 days start dictating your life?

Last....do you know what a "trophy wife" is? Typically someone who is extremely attractive, and extremely stupid. Now I'm not say you are or are not either of those things, but I am saying that someone who might want to scam you will see the name and make the assumption.




KatyLied -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 6:50:35 PM)

Why would you hide your profile for someone whom you had just started talking to?  



DudeBro -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 6:53:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Personally, I think people that jump into scams are nearly as culpable as the offender. If people are that desperate that they fall for a line from someone so quickly, they seriously need to get stung a few times. Call me heartless but dang it, I hate it when people blame others for mistakes they willingly make. Would I give money (huge sums I mean) to someone I barely knew? HELL NO. Would I give money to someone who did a fast rush to romance and committment.. HELL NO. Would I write to some convict and fall in love with a serial killer because he has cute eyes? HELL NO.
PEOPLE need to take some responsibility for the choices they make. And if it means getting bitten a few times, then hopefully they develop better life skills.

So far, you did not get scammed. You did what people should do.. look at it calmly and say HELL NO.



What if getting stung = rape / abuse / being chocked to death...I know I'm being extreme, I'll admit to getting caught up in an online "fcuk I'm so horny-why not...mannn" scam that ended up costing me ten bucks to pay for access to some online master's "cam" so I could submit to him, a doofus move seeing as we were already chatting on yahoo...but to say people should be exposed to predatory practices...eh?

http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/ambrosiomeetonline.htm

I've found this link and site to have a lot of great information about all sorts of stuff, and this article in particular I feel has some great and thorough points about some "best practices" (forgive the corporate cliche). I personally prefer to try and meet up in a public place, talk, let a friend know what's going on in my general life and call them up and ask if they'll be sure to be available for a check-in call, etc, especially for longer play sessions / stuff like that.

I think at one time or another in the course of someone's life everyone gets scammed, though.



juliaoceania -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 6:56:35 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Why would you hide your profile for someone whom you had just started talking to?  


She joined today, she started a profile designed to get people to go to an external website, and she was very successful at doing so

I went to the website, you had to join it to even read one thing on there...



Missokyst -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 7:21:40 PM)

When I was very young I used to hitchhike. I rarely chose to ride with a nice little old couple, I chose to ride with guys. I knew it was a risk, and yet I took it. I would have also taken the consequences because it would have been my choice to enter that door. I learned what fire was as a young one. And the point is I LEARNED.
I truly believe that by the time one reaches adulthood, they should know how to minimize risk, how to assess a situation, how to avoid getting stung, and how to accept responsibility for the choices they make.
And as a crime junkie I can tell you those women that get caught up in the type of senario the OP proposes of getting taken for cash, always come up from people JUMPING in, giving cash because they LOVE him.. phhht. That big rush,.. its not love, its opportunity.

Anyone pulling their profile because some doofus calls himself dom, and gives the big rush, should be thankful they stopped to think before it came to the part where he asked for cash. Maybe the next time it comes up they will recognise the pattern and avoid it.


quote:

ORIGINAL: DudeBro


quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Personally, I think people that jump into scams are nearly as culpable as the offender. If people are that desperate that they fall for a line from someone so quickly, they seriously need to get stung a few times. Call me heartless but dang it, I hate it when people blame others for mistakes they willingly make. Would I give money (huge sums I mean) to someone I barely knew? HELL NO. Would I give money to someone who did a fast rush to romance and committment.. HELL NO. Would I write to some convict and fall in love with a serial killer because he has cute eyes? HELL NO.
PEOPLE need to take some responsibility for the choices they make. And if it means getting bitten a few times, then hopefully they develop better life skills.

So far, you did not get scammed. You did what people should do.. look at it calmly and say HELL NO.



What if getting stung = rape / abuse / being chocked to death...I know I'm being extreme, I'll admit to getting caught up in an online "fcuk I'm so horny-why not...mannn" scam that ended up costing me ten bucks to pay for access to some online master's "cam" so I could submit to him, a doofus move seeing as we were already chatting on yahoo...but to say people should be exposed to predatory practices...eh?

http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/ambrosiomeetonline.htm

I've found this link and site to have a lot of great information about all sorts of stuff, and this article in particular I feel has some great and thorough points about some "best practices" (forgive the corporate cliche). I personally prefer to try and meet up in a public place, talk, let a friend know what's going on in my general life and call them up and ask if they'll be sure to be available for a check-in call, etc, especially for longer play sessions / stuff like that.

I think at one time or another in the course of someone's life everyone gets scammed, though.




xxblushesxx -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 8:53:31 PM)

Ah...so this was a case of a fake victim actually being a scammer...very clever!!  (if you're into that sort of thing...) 



TrophyWife -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 9:07:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Ah...so this was a case of a fake victim actually being a scammer...very clever!!  (if you're into that sort of thing...) 


Well, it is speculation and not actually true.

My profile was not created today, but a few weeks ago. I am new to the site and the lifestyle and, yes, foolishly believed what I was being told by one for whom I trusted. Stupid? You bet. And I am lucky that the scammer didn't get anything out of me. Sure, I referenced another site but I did not include a hyperlink (which is what most SPAMers do).

Within 24 hours of creating my profile, I was approached by over a hundred men and I found that alone overwhelming.

This has been an incredibly hard lesson for me and has taught me that I am not experienced enough to engage in this lifestyle, despite my interest as such.

My purpose of starting THIS post was to determine if there was a mechanism within the community to warn others against predatory behaviour. Apparently there is not and that is all I needed to know. Berate me for my ignorance or being foolish in falling for a scammer, but that is beside the point. The point is there is apparently no way for me to warn others about this guy. It seems similar activity is prevalent within this community and that is something else I have learned in such a short time.



KatyLied -> RE: Scammers (7/8/2010 9:11:55 PM)

Think about it.  If there was a list for predators, any one of us could add you or anyone whom we wanted to that list.  How would you determine what makes a scammer?  A predator?  You can't.   That is why these sort of suggestions are frowned upon and do not make any sense.



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