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dreamerdreaming -> RE: Becoming Dominant (7/14/2010 1:49:34 PM)
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Start out small, and go slow. Take time. Little things mean a lot.
I love to have my slave on his knees before me for a moment with eyes down, and have him recite his creed. Its only about six or eight sentences but in it he states that he cedes full authority over himself and his life to me, and that I own him- body, mind and spirit... That I have the right to use him any way I wish, and that he will remain willingly obedient to me at all times. We love it.
Our dynamic is heavily based in the ownership and enslavement, obedience, control and humiliation (NOT degradation!) kind of thing. So any little thing that reinforces it is very powerful and exciting for us both. It may be something as simple as always ordering his food for him when we go out to eat, or having him ask me for permission every time he needs to use the bathroom... Maybe I say yes right away, or maybe its yummy to have him wait... I might have him on his knees with eyes down just to ask....
*cream*.....
For a while I kept him in chains 24/7, while at home. That was yummy. But in the beginning I started out very simply by just doing tiny little things like keeping his cock and/or balls tied in a shoelace all day. That was yummy because he didn't have to take it off when out of the house. Sometimes I'd have him sleep with it on... He has quite an array of colorful shoelaces, some more comfy than others... Later on came a phase when it drove us both nuts with yummy, sweet desire to keep his cock mainly untied, and just have his balls tied separated, all day long... [:D]
A lot depends on the kind of dynamic that suits each of you. You may or may not be compatible re: your D/s needs and desires, but if you go slowly and have fun trying little things... keeping things fun and keeping your good communication and your sense of humor.... And if you don't try to be something you're not or to make her into something that she really isn't.... Odds are that as you try new things and keep an open mind about each other and the possibilities.... You'll both find things that you enjoy and that will bond you together in a very deep, sweet, fulfilling way.
None of the above involved any fucking or penetration, right? That came much later. There's just no need for it until both partners are ready. Take time. She's worth it, and so are you, and your budding relationship. A gorgeous flower bush, or a beautiful wild animal doesn't grow overnight. It starts out tiny, and it doesn't worry if its good enough or if what its doing is right. It just does what feels right. So try a few things, and talk about how they make you feel. She's been doing this for a while so don't let her more developed preferences overshadow your own exploration. Tell her you're the captain of this ship, and she can have regular input but you're in control of the direction and the pace of this voyage. Then show it, and be confident that she will adore being under your strong authority. Make sure that you let her feel how important her thoughts and feelings are to you, by addressing them properly- but in your own way, in your own time.
Even if it ends up that your D/s needs and desires ultimately don't match up very well, you can part on loving terms and have a great adventure in the meantime. I promise you that she'll love seeing and feeling you come into your own, regardless. She'll love being a part of that transformation. As long as you are doing what feels good, right and fulfilling for you both, you're on the right track.
Baby steps. Take time. Feel your way.
Welcome!
Explore, and have FUN! [:)]
(grammar edit)
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