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RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/16/2006 7:04:09 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Level,

If you ever get out here...look me up as I have a big house with rooms to spare, you know the real kind...

Oh, and I may be heading out to Houston to visit a buddy, you anywhere nearby?

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/16/2006 7:09:25 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Ehh, about 100 miles away lol... and thanks kindly for the offer, CD. I don't travel often, but do appreciate the good thought! And I am currently hardpressed to reciprocate the offer, hurricane Rita has put a crimp on many of our living quarters down here

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/16/2006 7:10:53 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		enthralled...the things you have mentioned as 'darker' are, well, uncomfortable for some...as to how would I as a dominant respond to said hypothetical requests...situational. Depends on the request; lotus has brought up some things interested in which I have no personal experience in...and yet, I am not opposed to but they do require care in performing; as some have stated, when such a thing comes up, I will ask, seek, attempt to learn, if it's something which I am willing to experience, then we will...if it isn't. then we won't. Quite simple. To be honest, I may not approach this as quite a few; I am in the process of developing a relationship with her I want to remain with...so, this is not just finding roles per se...and I have no concept of what or who you are actually seeking...I do know that in some ways, my personal ways are more subtle than others, and though more 'give' may be allowed than those with stricter guidelines if you will, I do expect obedience...but because of our relationship as well as the D/s dynamics.
Then again as I stated in a previous post I am not a 'real' Dom, so what the hell do I know anyway :-)

Short finish, find what/who you need not what/who is available...my limited insight.
C



_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to enthralled)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/16/2006 7:12:01 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		Level...you always make me laugh, as well as think...
Namaste.
C


_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/16/2006 7:13:24 PM   
classykindasassy


Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline 		It's simple as others have said. Say no, and explain IF you want to.

My dom has told me no to things that are hard limits to him. Even as a seasoned paramedic, he refuses to do carotid/breath play with me, and he also will not face-slap me. These are just things his constitution won't embrace.

But there is a TON of other stuff we can do, so I let those things go. We have opened each other's limits on a lot of other stuff. It's amazing when I think of it really. BOTH of us can say there are things we do now that we'd have said no to a few years ago.

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to wild1cfl)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/16/2006 7:24:07 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL

Level...you always make me laugh, as well as think...
Namaste.
C



Well, do the nasty back at ya.
 
lol........ just kidding C. Namaste.
 
PS - my next show is at ten.......in the morning, mind you.......central southern time.....

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/16/2006 7:49:37 PM   
LoganStrange


Posts: 34
Joined: 4/13/2006
Status: offline 		Not even sure why this conversation is happening,
A hard limit is a Hard limit, wether it be a slaves or a Masters.
Compromise can happen, as said earlier, allowing one to serve another that fullfills that need, is one such solution, communication can attain many other possibilities.
If the problem is finding a Master that doesnt have those limits, good luck in your search as the Masters have the same problem finding slaves that meet thier limits(or lack there-of) But please don't think of trying to change the one your with or change one you find.

I now add this disclaimer, all that was said is my opinion and two cents worth, which is probly two cents more than it is worth, I respect you dear lady and hope you did not find this insulting in any way as it was ment only as my thoughts on this subject. thank you

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/16/2006 10:22:04 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:


PS - my next show is at ten.......in the morning, mind you.......central southern time.....


I'll be at work then...got this whole financial slave thing down wrong...laughing.
Take care.
C


_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/17/2006 12:49:33 AM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Level,

Your platoon is a storied one, I salute you with that most ancient of salutes, the third digit counterpoised to the fifth digit of my left foot while slowly hoping in circles. 

Were you in that glorious battle against the 101st fighting kajiras of the sacred fighting pits, where every last man survived but not a single nut made it out?


ROFLMAO...

Good one, MasterCrappySir.

Cin <~ lowers eyes and sticks chest out respectfully

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/17/2006 5:07:22 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		are you sure your a nut?  you always come across as a man with a  loose screw and not a nut.  *w*

It must of givin you the advantage in the fighting pits just the same.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/17/2006 6:40:39 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: enthralled

I have question/thought/. What would you,  as a top/Dominant/Master,  do if your bottom/submissive/slave were to make a request that required something of you that you couldn't bring yourself to do? For those that HAVE experienced this, how did you handle it?
I love some of the darker corners of edge play and have found that many tops/Dominants/Masters want no part of things like whips, needles, cutting, scarification, etc. .
Can there be a happy ground where a masochist can have her needs met even though it's not something the Dominant would partake in?
I'm asking this because in my search, I have come across some that I have really enjoyed talking to, but when I go into detail concerning my interests. . . well, they seem to disappear rather quickly. I feel if I were to hide my interests, that I would be (in essense) lying to people.
I know I should find someone with like-interests and common ground, but I was only wondering what you've done or would do 'if'. . .

Respectfully,
enthralled



I think at its essence you have to decide how important the heavier SM activities are to you.  If its something that you definitely want as part of whatever type of relationship you are looking for, then I'd continue making it clear that you enjoy heavier SM type activities.  If you are willing to be flexible about what kind of SM you recieve, then you may not want to list those activities specifically as ones you want to do.  I mean you can always talk about things you have experienced in the past with the recognition that those aren't activities that you don't necessarily *have* to do again.

It all depends on how important it is to you, my owner and I have done needplay, cutting and other activities but neither of us see ourselves as being sadists or masochists, so a lot of this is about personal labels and also how flexible you are about your SM.

C~


_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to enthralled)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/17/2006 7:51:13 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		The nuts I was speaking of were originally issued two per man...

(in reply to Wildfleurs)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/17/2006 12:21:03 PM   
enthralled


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Nashville, Tn
Status: offline
quote:

I now add this disclaimer, all that was said is my opinion and two cents worth, which is probly two cents more than it is worth, I respect you dear lady and hope you did not find this insulting in any way as it was ment only as my thoughts on this subject. thank you


No offense taken Sir.. . . . it's making me realize how badly I need to work on my communication skills where verbalizing my thoughts are concerned. . . I always have had trouble in this area.

Respectfully,
enthralled

_____________________________

A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another's.-Jean Paul Richter

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/17/2006 12:37:04 PM   
enthralled


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Nashville, Tn
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL

enthralled...the things you have mentioned as 'darker' are, well, uncomfortable for some...as to how would I as a dominant respond to said hypothetical requests...situational. Depends on the request; lotus has brought up some things interested in which I have no personal experience in...and yet, I am not opposed to but they do require care in performing; as some have stated, when such a thing comes up, I will ask, seek, attempt to learn, if it's something which I am willing to experience, then we will...if it isn't. then we won't. Quite simple. To be honest, I may not approach this as quite a few; I am in the process of developing a relationship with her I want to remain with...so, this is not just finding roles per se...and I have no concept of what or who you are actually seeking...I do know that in some ways, my personal ways are more subtle than others, and though more 'give' may be allowed than those with stricter guidelines if you will, I do expect obedience...but because of our relationship as well as the D/s dynamics.
Then again as I stated in a previous post I am not a 'real' Dom, so what the hell do I know anyway :-)

Short finish, find what/who you need not what/who is available...my limited insight.
C




Thank you CERCKL
Perhaps your reply better addresses what I was asking/thinking. And, maybe the topic of my post was not appropriate in that I used the word 'limits' when in reality I was thinking more along the lines of 'experience' or lack of with certain 'play'. I also thought that perhaps the reason that many shy away from these types of play IS because they have no experience with them . . . ?

  Now see, if that ESP rule were in effect, everyone reading my post would've had the ability to read my mind and know what I actually meant when I made the post. <laughing>

Respectfully,
enthralled

_____________________________

A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another's.-Jean Paul Richter

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/17/2006 12:58:23 PM   
subwaylondon


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline 		Sorry, but this is above my head, what are you talking about?

(in reply to enthralled)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/17/2006 4:19:07 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

are you sure your a nut?  you always come across as a man with a  loose screw and not a nut.  *w*

It must of givin you the advantage in the fighting pits just the same.


Oh sure, call me nutless..... after all I've contributed to the forums here, this is the thanks I get *grins*
 
Level

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/17/2006 8:49:26 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		entralled,
I think that a lack of experience might be a stumbling block for some as you stated; I also think, that perhaps, some elements of play you inferred are, well frightening to some, they border very close to abusive or damaging (if done wrong) and that type of edgeplay isn't found exciting or erotic by some...certain things which I find intriguing, I hadn't had the proper individuals in my life to explore previously and so before I do , I would need to learn...also, they might lose their power of interest once actually done. I do know that in my own situation, a sense of heightened experience is realizing that the actions I am doing, besides being received by her because of me but also, when she is excited, then I find it enticing too...though, quite honestly some areas just hold no interest to me at all. Another thing which I keep in mind is that a lot of the individuals I have met who are submissive (and this is not meant to be a blanket stereotype, just observations from my own limited experience) tend to be people who have experienced a lot of abuse, especially from an early age, developmentally...and I am quite aware of that dynamic in a lot of what happens. Don't intend to just be an avenue for another to re-experience earlier abusive situations...
Again though, I know nothing, not being experienced <evil grin>

C


_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to enthralled)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/18/2006 5:07:13 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline 		For me it is not a matter of revulsion, but lack of interest. For instance, my pulse doesn't change over things like needle "play" or electrical "play". Further, I know that for me it's a considerable turn-off when a prospective centers herself around edgy fetishes and self-serving sensations; her head isn't in the right place for true servitude—she's humbling herself merely to get the next fix of pain and deviation, and I in turn become nothing more than a one-dimensional provider for that.

I like the psychology of "BDSM". I like having intercourse with the mind far more. For there is nothing more pleasing than a girl willing to do anything for your pleasure. The ideal religion is not the pinnacle of an outrageous act, but the devotion behind even the simplest ones.


(in reply to enthralled)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/18/2006 5:09:46 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

For me it is not a matter of revulsion, but lack of interest. For instance, my pulse doesn't change over things like needle "play" or electrical "play". Further, I know that for me it's a considerable turn-off when a prospective centers herself around edgy fetishes and self-serving sensations; her head isn't in the right place for true servitude—she's humbling herself merely to get the next fix of pain and deviation, and I in turn become nothing more than a one-dimensional provider for that.

I like the psychology of "BDSM". I like having intercourse with the mind far more. For there is nothing more pleasing than a girl willing to do anything for your pleasure. The ideal religion is not the pinnacle of an outrageous act, but the devotion behind even the simplest ones.




Well said, amayos.

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: A Dominant's limits - 4/18/2006 7:16:58 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Well said, amayos.


Indeed!


_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 40
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