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Andalusite -> RE: Do any of you identify as a masochist? (7/23/2010 7:00:57 PM)
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ORIGINAL: submissivemale22
1) do you get arousal strictly from pain inflicted by another person, or can it come from any source (ex: shutting finger in door)?
I can get all glowy and spacey from pain, or feel primal and animalistic from playfighting, or have my mind go blank from certain kinds of pain, but I usually only get sexually aroused/turned on in specific circumstances. There have been exceptions occasionally, though. In non-BDSM contexts, I use the same pain management techniques (breathing/etc.) as when I bottom to process the pain in a more pleasant way. This applies to getting shots/blood drawn, dental work, doing martial arts, and so forth. Usually a stubbed toe or a finger caught in a door hurts too suddenly to be prepared for it, so I can't process it as well. A healing bruise can feel nice, even if I just got it from being a klutz rather than from a cane or paddle or some such. I bonked my head once during a scene when I was already very floaty, and just giggled and the glow went up a few watts. I had a nasty goose-egg for a few days afterward, but it didn't hurt at all at the time.
quote:
ORIGINAL: submissivemale22
2) do you automatically get arousal from pain inflicted by another, or need it come from someone you have feelings for?
I usually only get sexually aroused by pain if it is done by someone who I have sexual chemistry with in the first place. When I played casually as a bottom in the past, I specifically negotiated that I would yellow if I got too turned on, and did so a couple of times. I don't want to get turned on by someone who I'm not romantically involved with, or seeking to develop that connection. I don't want them touching my pussy if we're not dating.
quote:
ORIGINAL: submissivemale22
3) were you physically abused (without consent) at any point in your life?
Yes, but I felt completely differently when that happened, and I don't think it's correlated at all. I started out with a fairly low pain tolerance when I first tried bottoming, and was able to take more as I experimented with breathing and other techniques. How the warmup is done, how I feel about the other person, and what kind of toy/tool/technique is used makes a big difference. If there's no warmup, or the strikes come so closely together that I can't process them, I'm kind of a wimp. I can handle thud better than sting in general, but there are some exceptions.
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