RE: Daddy dominants (Full Version)

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Aynne88 -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/23/2010 11:58:00 PM)

Interlocutor, it's not a hangup and really not a judgment, I just feel at 43 and being an equal partner to him, yes submissive, but still equal, that calling him Daddy is wierd. My vanilla Nanny called my Papa "Daddy" forever, but they have 3 children together. I don't have any and neither does John, so that in itself makes it not normal to say, coupled with the fact that we just don't have that kind of dynamic.

I will be honest and it isn't meant to incite flames. I have a hard time getting it, because the women I see most often using it are 40 and up, usually with their own kids, and seem to be seeking a save me fix it all for me man, their perfect "Daddy". I think that is partly why I have issues understanding it. But then some people, like DRH, she somehow carries it off to be healthy, loving, balanced and really not a big issue. I love their dynamic. I think it's the other, more prevelant ones like "my Daddy did this, my Daddy fixed me, My Daddy made me lose weight, My Daddy explained how I should think, feel, eat, sleep, balance my checkbook...argh.[;)]" Poor Daddy, isn't he tired?



juliaoceania -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/24/2010 7:43:33 AM)

quote:

I have a hard time getting it, because the women I see most often using it are 40 and up, usually with their own kids, and seem to be seeking a save me fix it all for me man, their perfect "Daddy"


I'm 40, used this in my past relationship, it was not really about sex or age play, and I never have looked to a man to fix anything for me in my life. I am sorry, but that is really very offensive, judgmental, and fairly nasty because, honey, it just isn't true



sexyred1 -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/24/2010 8:01:51 AM)

I have never called anyone Daddy other than my own father and I never intend to. It just would not work for me. I would not want to be called either Mommy or Little Girl. I actually dislike when men write me and say, how is the little girl today? I also would never call myself L'il anything.

I am not little nor am I a girl. I have girlish tendencies, but I am all woman, so age play is not for me and neither is little girl even as a term of affection. I would feel too actressy if I had to say that and it would not work because the feelings would not be there, therefore making such words inauthentic.

I have mostly been in D/s relationships with men younger than me so it never came up. Also my type of dynamic is more Master-ish, and I don't see Daddy Doms in that way.

As much as I want a well rounded relationship where caring, love, support, protection are part of things, I want that as an equal partner who happens to be submissive.

I only will ever have one Dad, and thankfully he is still very much with us.

Of course this is just my opinion of what is right for me and it's cool for everyone else to have whatever dynamic they desire.



Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/24/2010 8:15:07 AM)

Don'tcha know all smart little girls are taught not to take candy from strangers?  [:D]
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThundersCry

MAYBE thats why Im at the swimming pool a few days a week! -L- Come to Daddy...he has some candy!



Aynne88 -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/24/2010 8:25:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

I have a hard time getting it, because the women I see most often using it are 40 and up, usually with their own kids, and seem to be seeking a save me fix it all for me man, their perfect "Daddy"


I'm 40, used this in my past relationship, it was not really about sex or age play, and I never have looked to a man to fix anything for me in my life. I am sorry, but that is really very offensive, judgmental, and fairly nasty because, honey, it just isn't true


Julia tone down the defensiveness, *most* is not *all*. Come on, read these boards. It's fairly easy to see it. I am not the only one saying it, but as usual, I stand by what I say because it's what I see. I can't change my experiences or perceptions, they are based n things I have witnessed, and read, and experienced, blah blah blah.  Of course I don't think all women who use that term apply to those parameters, but enough do that it isn't hard to find it on a daily basis.

If I got pissed off everytime started a thread about an age difference (ours is 16 years) I would be angry all the time. I don't think women that don't want a man that much older than them are judgmental, nasty, or offensive.  

If you think that people on these boards don't judge, then what are we doing here, because there is nothing but judgment underneath these onions and debates we have here, right? It doesn't make me nasty or very offensive, any more than your strongly worded opinions make you. Honey. 



Aynne88 -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/24/2010 8:30:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I have never called anyone Daddy other than my own father and I never intend to. It just would not work for me. I would not want to be called either Mommy or Little Girl. I actually dislike when men write me and say, how is the little girl today? I also would never call myself L'il anything.

I am not little nor am I a girl. I have girlish tendencies, but I am all woman, so age play is not for me and neither is little girl even as a term of affection. I would feel too actressy if I had to say that and it would not work because the feelings would not be there, therefore making such words inauthentic.

I have mostly been in D/s relationships with men younger than me so it never came up. Also my type of dynamic is more Master-ish, and I don't see Daddy Doms in that way.

As much as I want a well rounded relationship where caring, love, support, protection are part of things, I want that as an equal partner who happens to be submissive.

I only will ever have one Dad, and thankfully he is still very much with us.

Of course this is just my opinion of what is right for me and it's cool for everyone else to have whatever dynamic they desire.


Hey SexyRed, that is exactly what I mean as well. I never really see a Daddy Dom type as being compatible with myself either, I need someone a bit more of a prick Dom.[;)].  One that loves me, but prickly none the less.



Daddysredhead -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/24/2010 11:06:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

But then some people, like DRH, she somehow carries it off to be healthy, loving, balanced and really not a big issue. I love their dynamic.


Thankies, Aynne.  [:)]  



interlocutor -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/24/2010 12:24:53 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

Interlocutor, it's not a hangup... I just feel ... that calling him Daddy is wierd. ... that in itself makes it not normal to say ...


Uh well, in my book that pretty much is the definition of "hang up"

quote:


I will be honest and it isn't meant to incite flames. I have a hard time getting it, because the women I see most often using it are 40 and up, usually with their own kids, and seem to be seeking a save me fix it all for me man, their perfect "Daddy". I think that is partly why I have issues understanding it. But then some people, like DRH, she somehow carries it off to be healthy, loving, balanced and really not a big issue. I love their dynamic. I think it's the other, more prevelant ones like "my Daddy did this, my Daddy fixed me, My Daddy made me lose weight, My Daddy explained how I should think, feel, eat, sleep, balance my checkbook...argh.[;)]" Poor Daddy, isn't he tired?


It seems to me you are projecting. If these women instead used the term "master" (which I'm sure has been used in every context you've mentioned probably more than "daddy") you wouldn't be fixating on the term "master", you'd be thinking about how pathetic the woman saying it was. You are allowing a narrow set of behaviors to define the word, when the word itself has a much broader context.



sweetsub1957 -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/24/2010 4:59:46 PM)

~FR~
I try not to worry about what other subs/slaves call their Dominants. I don't get into using the titles Master or Lord, but I don't uptighten when someone else uses them. I just feel that whatever works in a particular dynamic for the people involved, hey, that's cool. To each his/her own.

~sweetsub~



Aynne88 -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/24/2010 7:41:40 PM)




Interlocutor, Not that much of an issue to debate for me quite honestly. We are reading different books, that much is certain. Really, if being a Daddy rocks your world, have fun and enjoy.

DRH, you are welcome.[:)].



interlocutor -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/24/2010 7:57:20 PM)

Ok, but no one calls me daddy, and I have no particular desire to be called daddy, it just seems like a REALLY tame/vanilla thing for that a lot of people get squicked over. It is like, getting squicked over putting peanut butter on pancakes.



ranja -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/25/2010 7:33:14 AM)

Daddy as a name to call my lover (Husband) is just so extremely hot... it does indeed feel all wrong and incesteous and perverted and that is exactly why it is so very hot... sometimes anyway... othertimes maybe 'Master' or 'darling' or 'my love' will feel that way... naaah, Daddy daddy daddy is way hotter, i totally dig it...



Aynne88 -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/25/2010 9:12:10 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: interlocutor

Ok, but no one calls me daddy, and I have no particular desire to be called daddy, it just seems like a REALLY tame/vanilla thing for that a lot of people get squicked over. It is like, getting squicked over putting peanut butter on pancakes.


Yeah, I don't use the term "squicked", and that isn't an accururate assessment of what I clearly and intelligibly said. However, see the post from Ranja re: it's hot in part for the incestous implications, etc....perfect timing for why some women just don't dig it.



ranja -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/25/2010 12:13:40 PM)

different strokes for different folks,
some people do not dig anal sex because they can't get over the fact that it really is a poo hole... i just like my sex dirty and calling Him daddy at times makes me feel ever so dirty... luckily He is usually ok with it too at the right time... and i do not really care who else digs it or not....



DearJessicaD -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/25/2010 5:49:52 PM)

I can't do it. It skeeves me out. If it matters, I grew up without a father and like to consider myself to not have "daddy issues".

The one guy who kept telling me to call him daddy and referring to me as his little girl was always checking out underage girls, by the way. And I don't mean high school seniors who may have been 18 but also may not have. I'm talking about like 11 year olds.



SensualistOne -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/25/2010 6:36:03 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spartacus25

First, I dispute your comment that there is prevalence to males calling the female Dom mommy. Assuming this to be true though, Would you like it if your boyfriend called you mommy?


as for the vanilla "mommy" reference...obviously no one here has hung out around any hispanic people...even strangers in san antonio call me "mama" or "mamacita" (little mama)...as well as people I have known for years...to be honest, I haven't been with any hispanic people as far as relationships go so I can't give you any first hand knowledge, but I have heard guys call their girlfriends "mama"...

Now for the D/s aspect of it...I had one guy I was talking to that wanted to call me Mommy...things didn't work out but it was a very age play taboo thing for him...

As for the original topic, I call my Master, Daddy...unlike most others - I had daddy issues...however, I have worked through them, and that is not what attracted me to him...didn't even know he was a Daddy type when I got together with him...just knew things worked well...i have mpd and he is daddy to my littles and treats them the age they are, and there is nothing adult like in those relationships even though it is a 27 year old body...but when the bigs and him are having sex we so far haven't called him "Daddy"...not that there's a problem with it...just i go non verbal..[;)]



juliaoceania -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/25/2010 7:50:54 PM)

quote:

Julia tone down the defensiveness, *most* is not *all*. Come on, read these boards. It's fairly easy to see it. I am not the only one saying it, but as usual, I stand by what I say because it's what I see. I can't change my experiences or perceptions, they are based n things I have witnessed, and read, and experienced, blah blah blah.  Of course I don't think all women who use that term apply to those parameters, but enough do that it isn't hard to find it on a daily basis.


I see people that call their lovers "master" and speak of not having a thought outside of "master" and how "master" makes all of their decisions, and blah blah blah.

Daddy Doms in my experience do not do everything for a woman, the opposite it true, they expect growth from a submissive, a submissive to change under their direction in healthy ways, etc etc etc. I haven't seen daddy doms as a stunting thing, in fact just the opposite, it assumes the dynamic is in flux.

Now I could compare it to master/slave dynamics, which would never work for me because from what I have seen on these boards I am TOO independent for that. I am self directed, and I do not need someone to micromanage me or my movements. I do not do well with "strict" men either. I do not do well with "pricks" either. "He says it is so and I do it" ... how is this being a mature woman capable of directing her own life? I am not saying it is always that way, but if I were going to compare, I would say it often does.

I love Daddy Doms. I can't do men who stunt me, who do not seek to see me achieve great things in this world, and who think my primary role is to "serve" them. I have stuff to give the world, and someone who would try to stunt that isn't for me.


I think it is fine to be a slave and have a master, as long as all people are happy and fulfilled, but when you start comparing the dynamics, I can sincerely say, it isn't Daddy's Girls that have their entire world mapped out for them, just the opposite... Daddy must be willing to see his girl grow, or he isn't a "daddy"



Aynne88 -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/26/2010 8:11:57 AM)


Because I would walk all over most "Daddy Doms" I see. That is why I say prick. Lovingly of course.[;)].

I get what you are saying, but a few of the posts in between our exchange kind of reiterate why I posted what I did, if you saw them. Like I said, it's not an absolute, I have seen some of these relationships that are great, but I have seen a lot of women looking for a savior to do everything for their "little girl." I find that to be way more stifling and repressive than a prick that demands you to be the best you are, and make your own choices and decisions and to actually stand on your own two feet without the help of "Daddy." I don't dig micromanaging and I don't need head pats and constant encouragement to function. I know, it's not always that way....but you get my point I think. To each their own. I want a relationship exactly like I have, and I am sure you do too. I hope we are both happy for a long time in them. Agreeing to disagree on this one Julia. :)



thishereboi -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/26/2010 8:24:06 AM)

quote:

I have a hard time getting it, because the women I see most often using it are 40 and up, usually with their own kids, and seem to be seeking a save me fix it all for me man, their perfect "Daddy".


Well I am over 40, so you got that part right, but the rest....naw I don't think so.



AsmodaisSin -> RE: Daddy dominants (7/26/2010 8:36:02 AM)

I don't see the Daddy Dom dynamic as incestuous at all.  Daddy and I have been together for over two years, and he is supporting, loving, nurturing, and allows me to be me.  I'm also just about to hit 24.  I don't really hit into the 40+ group most of y'all see. 

I do understand why it makes people squirmish.  When I was first accepting who I was, it freaked me out, but once I accepted who I was, it didn't bother me.  There are some people who find my calling Daddy Daddy in public a little...unsettling, but I figure that it's our relationship, and if He wanted me to stop, He'd tell me to.  In fact, He's stated clearly and honestly that it's who we were, and no one can change that, so I need to be comfortable saying it in public all the time again. 



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