Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (Full Version)

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mistoferin -> Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 6:16:19 AM)

I've always wondered why, on a site geared for discussions of BDSM, there seems to be a lack of interest in threads that actually discuss it. The threads that talk about hands on, active BDSM techniques, tips, styles. Most especially anything that relates to safety. These threads tend to have low participation.

Yet threads such as "Men in my panties" go on for pages and pages, train wreck threads, fat threads, wanker threads...those threads thrive. I realize that those types of threads have an entertainment factor but gosh.

I posted a thread the other day regarding safety and cleanliness during blood play. I think two people have responded. Maybe because although it is definitely a BDSM issue, it got moved down to "Health and Safety". That section doesn't seem to get much traffic....unless of course there is a thread by some wanker who wants to talk about his asshole. A few weeks ago I posted a thread regarding the possible transmission of communicable diseases during microbranding. Same result...not much interest.

So do we really just want to be entertained and titillated here? Why the seeming disinterest in things that will give us knowledge in WIITWD or have the potential of making WIITWD safer?



Jeffff -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 6:23:18 AM)

These things seem to go up and down.

Add to that the fact that many people here have already delt with many topics.

I am sure it will cycle back around



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 6:27:00 AM)

There's been a lot of discussion on how the boards have changed in the last year. LOTS of regular posters that have actual real life BDSM experience have left the site, many for Fet, many for who knows where. The moderation has changed...let's just leave it at that!

Personally I adore the men in panties thread, but why isn't it in Polls and Random Stupidity? I dunno. Don't much care, either, categories schmattergories. Why are TROLL MORONS allowed to post endlessly? Well, if the rest of us are alllowed slack, they have to get the same consideration. So, the tone of the boards just isn't what it is... when threads started by folks that attack us real lifers for being---OMG!---PERVERTS fly freely, who wants to fight them?

I got nothing. We are possibly preaching to the choir.



DomImus -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 6:51:11 AM)

Maybe nobody else shares the same phobias that you have.



mistoferin -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 6:58:35 AM)

Well, I was gone from CM for the better part of a year so I can say that I do have to agree that things have changed a lot here. I also find a lot more active discussion pertaining to real life BDSM on Fet than I do here. I guess that I just almost feel like such discussions are almost discouraged here. It's a shame because I can certainly remember having many more than a little great discussions of such right here on these boards and I really hope that there will be many more in the future. So many new folks here, often it is their first glimpse into our world outside of the fantasy of it all.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 6:58:38 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

Maybe nobody else shares the same phobias that you have.


Dude, that is uncalled for snark. Having known Erin personally for years, I can tell you that she has very few phobias, just a lot of common sense.



LaTigresse -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 6:59:46 AM)

I think that if people are not actively DOING (for whatever reason...[:D]), they will not have an active interest in how.



mistoferin -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 7:10:28 AM)

quote:

Maybe nobody else shares the same phobias that you have.


I don't have phobias pertaining to bdsm. I do at least try though to keep myself educated on the latest information. I find it's helpful to make informed decisions regarding my participation and actions. See, I believe that ultimately I am personally responsible for myself. I don't have any interest in claiming ignorance after the fact or blaming others for any resulting consequences for the risks I take. But hey, thanks for the response.



mistoferin -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 7:12:10 AM)

quote:

I think that if people are not actively DOING (for whatever reason...), they will not have an active interest in how.


Well surely there MUST be a fairly large group of active DOERS here...at least I would have hoped!



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 7:14:45 AM)

I think that there WERE a lot of doers here. Now, there are a lot of young folks, because it's summer, and that is cool, but they are not really experienced and I think don't know WHAT to discuss some of the time. There are others who are just fucking clueless chat room fantasy players.

And then there are people like us! [:D]



mistoferin -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 7:17:53 AM)

Why bother coming to a bdsm forum if you have no interest in actually doing...or at the very least, discussing doing? I mean there are tons of porn sites and chat rooms out there if all one wants is to get turned on or find material to whack off to. Lots of them even have graphic pictures...LOL!



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 7:21:29 AM)

I have NO idea, Erin!! Why come here to tell us that we are a bunch of raving abusers and pervs? Because they can?

Or maybe they are hoping for wank material... little realizing that some of us can just wank to our memories! [:D]

I talk to people who have to GEAR THEMSELVES UP to go to a munch, let alone a CLUB. When I think of myself and how I just wandered in all alone, hooked up, learned all kinds of stuff without benefit of the internet... well it's just a miracle anyone leaves the house these days!



KyttynTheMynx -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 7:25:13 AM)

Me personally, I dont engage or really give much attention to the WIITWD threads due to the fact that there ends up being so many conflicting opinions of how to do this or that, the safety levels of a over b and things like that. I find it easier to just go out, research what I am curious about, and then talk to others. Maybe theres a person or two that feels the same way. Maybe not.

Me personally, yes. I want to be entertained. Why else would I continue to come back? Why else would I spend mind numbing hours of the morning giggling at Random Stupidity and Humor and reading the trainwrecks? If I want the real stuff, I will step out of my front door.



mistoferin -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 7:26:52 AM)

But....I KNOW you...and you are a raving perv! And speaking of doing....I have NOT seen your name on the sign up list for our Kinky Kamping/River Float trip. What's up with that???? Even if you don't do the tent thing...there are motels in the area with running water and real beds. You're gonna miss out on a good time I tell ya! Naked submissives hanging from trees, boat oar paddlings, JELLO WRESTLING!!! (Not to mention *I'M* cooking)



EbonyWood -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 7:27:37 AM)

erin,

Threads that have definitive, specified topics have a limited lifespan (and therefore participation) because they quite often deal with topics that are much more objective. A safety thread usually only ever consists of the experience, the advice and some conclusions. It's more black and white than those that consist of more abstract and perspective opinion.
 
Plus, the material can usually be searched, and is often recycled periodically. 'Difference between slave/submissive', 'Do you earn your collar?' type threads, plus the safety threads, do the rounds with monotonous regularity. I'm pretty sure there was a Collar Earning thread 6 months ago, and 6 months before that. Regulars slow down participation in those on a been there, done that basis.
 
I don't think you make an invalid point, I just think you shouldn't sweat it. There are always plenty of experienced people to give good safety advice if you ask around.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 7:31:53 AM)

Well yeah, Kyttyn, YOU ARE ONE OF US!!

And I have to agree, I ignore most of those threads myself, unless I have something cogent to add. I don't have it in me anymore to listen to some twatwaffle who thinks face slapping is edge play tell me what they learned from some chat room. Not that I ever DID have it in me, of course[:D]

I wish I had the solution to bringing back interested and interesting people. When I came here five years ago, it was for SOCIAL reasons, and new stuff I learned was just incidental coolness. I am still here for social reasons, but I still learn from the opinions and experiences of others. I get lots of laughs, too.

Today a person I know posted elsewhere that she came here briefly and thought we were all cliquey like. Okies. As a person who has her own Fabulous Clique, I won't argue with that. I can't say that we are more or less like ANY group of folks that are an unknown quanitity. The trolls don't seem to have any problem!

So I still got nothing. Are we "talking" in realtime about any issues? Aside from demos and stuff? I don't see it happening, but I haven't gotten out much lately.



DomImus -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 7:32:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
Dude, that is uncalled for snark. Having known Erin personally for years, I can tell you that she has very few phobias, just a lot of common sense.


I wasn't trying to be snarky. I was making a point. Had anyone shared her concerns, they would have joined in the discussion. They didn't. End of story. There are entire bdsm free forums within CM. Does she regularly carry her soapbox to the P&R forum and denounce those folks because they are not in the General BDSM forum discussing the dangers of blood borne pathogens where they should be because this is a fetish site? I don't care how much common sense she has nor do I care if the two of you are attached at the hip. I have common sense, too... enough of it to know not to chastise people for their forum habits just because they do not mirror mine.





LadyHibiscus -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 7:35:29 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
Dude, that is uncalled for snark. Having known Erin personally for years, I can tell you that she has very few phobias, just a lot of common sense.


I wasn't trying to be snarky. I was making a point. Had anyone shared her concerns, they would have joined in the discussion. They didn't. End of story. There are entire bdsm free forums within CM. Does she regularly carry her soapbox to the P&R forum and denounce those folks because they are not in the General BDSM forum discussing the dangers of blood borne pathogens where they should be because this is a fetish site? I don't care how much common sense she has nor do I care if the two of you are attached at the hip. I have common sense, too... enough of it to know not to chastise people for their forum habits just because they do not mirror mine.





Thanks for that clarification, DomImus, I totally misread your intent, and I apologize.

I also agree that we cannot drive the posting desires of others. Threads die if there is no interest in them. I have been observing that there is a lack of interest in MANY areas that used to be discussed. Now we have half a dozen threads on punishment---the HOW, not the psychogical or relationship aspects. Wankage. Any ideas, or do you just avoid beating the dead horses either.



mistoferin -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 7:36:52 AM)

quote:

Threads that have definitive, specified topics have a limited lifespan (and therefore participation) because they quite often deal with topics that are much more objective.


I will use as an example the thread that I posted the other day regarding cleanliness and safety in blood play. It detailed a few mistakes that I commonly see being made by experienced people. But they are things that would benefit anyone who engages in such play...or is even in attendance of such play...to consider. Limited lifespan? Two responders and 56 hits over the course of the last three days or so? Yes, that is pretty limited.



CreativeDominant -> RE: Lack of interest in threads pertaining to hands on, active BDSM (7/21/2010 7:39:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I've always wondered why, on a site geared for discussions of BDSM, there seems to be a lack of interest in threads that actually discuss it. The threads that talk about hands on, active BDSM techniques, tips, styles. Most especially anything that relates to safety. These threads tend to have low participation.

Yet threads such as "Men in my panties" go on for pages and pages, train wreck threads, fat threads, wanker threads...those threads thrive. I realize that those types of threads have an entertainment factor but gosh.

I posted a thread the other day regarding safety and cleanliness during blood play. I think two people have responded. Maybe because although it is definitely a BDSM issue, it got moved down to "Health and Safety". That section doesn't seem to get much traffic....unless of course there is a thread by some wanker who wants to talk about his asshole. A few weeks ago I posted a thread regarding the possible transmission of communicable diseases during microbranding. Same result...not much interest.

So do we really just want to be entertained and titillated here? Why the seeming disinterest in things that will give us knowledge in WIITWD or have the potential of making WIITWD safer?
It does seem rather interesting that a serious topic, such as the health and cleanliness during blood play, is not in the General BDSM section BUT as someone else has noted...the fact that it DOES contain material related to health and safety is probably why it got moved to health and safety. 

I think that if you are going to have a topic regarding WIITWD stay here in the General Section, it is going to have to be about the whys and hows and whats and ifs with more of an emphasis on that aspect rather than the health and safety.  Still, unless there is discussion about the emotional aspects...how it makes someone feel...you are right, mist, there DOES seem to be little interest in it right now.

I've heard people say that this occurs because the serious posters who used to post here got moderated to the point that they felt like they had to go elsewhere where they could express themselves without being modded to death...so they went to FetLife.  That may be true but in all honesty, the way the boards are moderated now leaves PLENTY of room for expression of your views.  However, the one thing that many of those people who moved to FetLife don't understand is that in leaving plenty of room for open expression of their point of view, there is plenty of room left for the open expression of the points of view that DISAGREE with them.  Some don't like that...

Personally, I like the format here wayyyy better than I do the format over in Fet.  ~shrugs~  My opinion only but I just find collarme easier to navigate.



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