SusanofO
Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline
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Useful but not definitive. Yes (thank you). My Club Hopping (and "non-bdsm" bar hopping days are over; I got that out of my system in my 20's (but - I would go to a club to learn more about a bdsm activity, or to "meet friends" IF another person considered it important (I think munches are a nice alternative for folks who feel the same way (my geographic area seems to have little in terms of munches or clubs), though (one munch group that meets very sporadically. Better than none I guess).
It all needs to be clarified with somone else via communication I guess, just what it is they really mean". I consider myself an EXPERT at Housework (I've done it for many years; I actually enjoy it. I am not going to check EXPERT next to "No Strings Housework" (ever) - unless I want that construed as wanting to be a "Service slave or submissive only - and I do understand people wanting that (I just don't right now).
Role-Playing I see as a milder form of Theatrical Scenes in a way (but have done it and liked it). It's all subjective I guess, whether someone is truly a Beginner, Average or Expert at something until you talk to them or watch what they write a lot about.
I am intuitive but also wise enough to not concoct another person in my head completely without knowing more about them. How people accomplish that is an individual deal, I think. It can (to me) get confusing reading profiles, and mine is definitely a work in progress. I do think this thread was worth posting and am glad I did and that people answered. If nothing else, it's helped me define more for myself just what I mean by checking certain things the way I do. Maybe it helped some others too (they helped me, just by responding).
I do believe there are folks who don't realize other people think about these things (one poster in this thread commented):
Why do Doms and-orMasters expect subs to list or know all of their preferences and not list any of their own at all, or tell much about themsleves? Familiar comment (yet maybe one worth hearing again). I know it might help Doms or Masters feel "in control" to be "secretive" etc. and getting to know people is a process but - it also might be viewed as presumptious, too by whomever they are trying to reach. Whatever works, I guess.
I think you just don't know unless people communicate (in writing or in person) how peope feel about these things. I read in a profile someone said:
"If you want to know something about me - Ask (not a bad way to put it and lets readers know they are "approachable"). I suppose they get a fair amount of e-mail stating one line like: "Tell me about yourself" just like other people do, too.
* And thanks for bringing up Asphyxiation-breath control. That is a "no-no" for me right now (maybe for ever). I think I need to note that somewhere. Nighty-night.
- SusanofO
< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/18/2006 12:03:13 AM >
_____________________________
"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson
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RE: Defining BDSM Interests and Hard Limits in profiles - 
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