How important is a femdom's arousal? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress



Message

AAkasha -> How important is a femdom's arousal? (7/22/2010 7:17:27 PM)

I wanted to pick subs' brains about their domme's arousal in a scene.

Not to simplify the issue, but for this topic I break down arousal into two
kinds: sexual arousal and non-sexual arousal.

When I play, it is apparent to my "victim" that I am very into what I
am doing to him. He can tell because I'm totally into it (not reluctant, not
confused, very direct), and depending on the "type" of domme mood I am in,
sometimes even smiling and teasing him (The "awww, poor baby" syndrome).

Obviously, this kind of attitude is probably enjoyed by a sub, versus a sort
of reluctant, "Am I doing this right?" or "I really am not into this" mood.

But then there is the other type of arousal in a scene - sexual arousal -
and often I communicate that to a sub as well. It's always there anyway (In
other threads about "is bdsm sexual" I know I commented that for me, sexual
arousal *definitely happens*, but I am not after the almighty orgasm, I'm
too wrapped up in the power rush), so often I will *show* my sub how much he
is getting me wet.  It's also a sinister little act in itself - there is
something so wonderfully devious about the suffering of a man who cares
about me resulting in a pair of very wet panties. 

I would assume that this kind of arousal is much more of a turn on to a sub,
and also more motivating for him to "take more" for his Mistress.  But is
the other type pretty satisfying as well?

In other words, do a lot of subs really need/want to know that their Mistress
is getting "turned on" sexually by their submission, or is it rewarding
enough that the Mistress is simply *really enjoying herself*?



Rochsub2009 -> RE: How important is a femdom's arousal? (7/22/2010 9:00:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

.....do a lot of subs really need/want to know that their Mistress
is getting "turned on" sexually by their submission, or is it rewarding
enough that the Mistress is simply *really enjoying herself*?



Both are great rewards.  But knowing that she is being turned on sexually is much more rewarding for me.  After all, Her enjoyment brings me sexual pleasure.  So I would hope that She is likewise receiving sexual pleasure from administering whatever might be happening in the session at hand.

Personally, I don't typically play with people that I am not in a relationship with.  So since I am in a relationship with Her anyway, it is always great when a play session leads to great sex afterwards.  But even if it doesn't lead to that, I love knowing that I made her wet.



seekingOwnertoo -> RE: How important is a femdom's arousal? (7/22/2010 10:33:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

In other words, do a lot of subs really need/want to know that their Mistress
is getting "turned on" sexually by their submission, or is it rewarding
enough that the Mistress is simply *really enjoying herself*?


Always most satisfying to me ... is when the Domme (Mistress) is sexually turned on.

Doesn't have to lead to ... well .. You know ... but it is the thought, that i turn You on sexually ... that makes it most exciting!

Then i feel ... like quite the stud! [:)]

And it is a nice feeling to feel, after suffering ...

But i have to sense it is a legitimate turn on ... even if You really can't go farther.

Knowing You are enjoying Yourself is always my goal ... but when You get turned on ... it is the icing on the cake!



wittynamehere -> RE: How important is a femdom's arousal? (7/22/2010 10:40:47 PM)

OP sounds a bit like a submissive, actually.



seekingOwnertoo -> RE: How important is a femdom's arousal? (7/22/2010 10:51:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: wittynamehere

OP sounds a bit like a submissive, actually.


ROFL ... apparently, you don't know who She is! ....

Sorry but ... I could not resist saying that! [:D]



rhpaw -> RE: How important is a femdom's arousal? (7/23/2010 7:57:18 AM)

it would be really boring for me if she did not push to take more by the means of showing me how wet it making her.



littlesarbonn -> RE: How important is a femdom's arousal? (7/23/2010 11:11:55 AM)

If it was sexually turning her on, that's great. If it was intellectually turning her on, that's almost as great. As long as she's enjoying herself and feeling that the moment is right, then I'm pretty happy.



Steponme73 -> RE: How important is a femdom's arousal? (7/23/2010 12:17:27 PM)

femdom arousal is always a rush. If she is sexually turned on then even the better. But there are times when exciting the mind is even more fun.
If she is getting a rush from a power trip and enjoying the inflicting of pain...that is the rush for me. Her turn on can be in any form as long as she is getting out of it what she wants.
If it is just ho hum...not good for anybody.



Andalusite -> RE: How important is a femdom's arousal? (7/23/2010 7:12:16 PM)

If I'm involved with someone romantically, I want both of us to get turned on by play, at least most of the time.  I don't want my arousal to be his motivation for service or for pleasing me, though, or for him to have it as a required aspect of a specific form of play.  It comes across as performance pressure.  I would have trouble feeling dominant toward someone if they required a specific reaction from me, rather than just seeing to please me.  That's one thing I really enjoy about my femsub playpartner - I can do things because I want to make her react a certain way, or because it amuses me, or because I feel like it.  We might choose to do a particular scene in a scripted, pre-planned way, but most of the time, it just flows with my whims.  When someone presents me with a detailed "You do this to me, then this, then this, and you will get turned on by my humiliation, or because I feel this is the most submissive thing I can do." it just sucks all the dominance and fun and joy out of it! I don't want him to only serve me when he has a hard-on, or because he thinks I'm sexy.  That's a wonderful aspect of the relationship, but if that's the only motivation, and his interest in pleasing me diminished or vanished after he came, then I'd feel like he was pretty self-centered, and didn't actually give a darn about my being happy or having my needs met.



Page: [1]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125