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Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 2:49:21 PM   
TwistedDaddy4u


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/19/2010
Status: offline 		Submission in real life.

 

                There are many games out there, many players, and many people looking for a fantasy, not for a reality. There are men pretending to be women, women pretending to be someone else, and just about every variation of liar imaginable. In this bedlam of chaos and lust, it is hard to find truth in the middle of the storm. Submission in real life is so much different than most people portray it, especially once you take children and life into account.

 

                Any thoughts on this are welcome, but in real life it is all about balance. For me it’s about filling three different needs. Mental, Emotional, and physical. When you find someone who wants to fill those, work hard to hold on to that, because it is a very rare thing. I am not speaking from only a Dom side; both sides have those needs for a real relationship. Every two people have a unique relationship, yes were all special unique snowflakes, but we all have needs, each with varying degrees.

 

                When it applies to real life, there is only so much you can do. It takes a lot more effort than letting someone tie you up, or putting your cock into a nice wet hole. It takes patience, understanding, support, care, and a hell of a lot of energy. The best slave in the world will still take effort to make it really work, and the strongest master , you still have to work on making it last.

 

                You have to be able to make little times, or ways to maintain the relationship even when life gets in the way. Time to be on your knees while the kids play around, knowing what it means to be there. Walking behind your owner, or seeing him give you that look and knowing you went too far. Seeing the lust and desire and passion in his eyes when he looks deep into your heart and soul.

 

                Above all it takes patience, no one is perfect, and no one will make everything better. Life isn’t a fairytale, and shit happens far too often to think that someone will be able to be exactly what you think it is you need. Be grateful for the things you do have, and appreciative for the sacrifices others make for you. Humility does all of us some good, Master, Dom, Mistress, Slave, Sub ... etc etc etc. Take a chance and try to find who you really are, it is worth it in the long run.

 

                Being someone who has had both online, fantasy, and real life, I have found that the real life (not play dates) means so much more than anything else. Nothing can compare to the real thing. I am curious of everyone else’s thoughts, so please feel free to disagree with me.

 

DS
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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 2:56:49 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		For me, and anyone in my life, it is about balance. It's usually far less kinky, less romantic, less a lot of things than most online seem to feel it should be. It's better. It's actual service, skin to skin contact, kinky fun, watching movies together, etc....... not just sitting in front of a computer screen with unrealistic, wishful thinking.

I am very protective of my family. Not many people, from the net, will soon learn where I live, let alone be able to access my family. For that reason I've been called a fake. Those same potentials lacked any common sense. If they'd had an ounce of it they would have realized that, had they had the substance to become part of 'my family' that protection would have included them also.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 2:58:10 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Can I get a general area?.... I do not want to have to moon all of Iowa.

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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 2:58:54 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Can I get a general area?.... I do not want to have to moon all of Iowa.


Day of the week and time?


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 2:59:41 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		l let you know.... it will be a few weeks.

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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 3:00:49 PM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline 		This is quite a first post!! Welcome to cm and the boards!

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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 3:26:07 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwistedDaddy4u

There are many games out there, many players, and many people looking for a fantasy, not for a reality. There are men pretending to be women, women pretending to be someone else, and just about every variation of liar imaginable.


Deceivers deceiver and liars lie. The Internet is a representation of the society we live within. The situations mentioned and others far worse are the stuff movies of the week and the Lifetime Network are made of. In the end all we can do is make a concerted effort in our decision-making. We can't foretell or control what the other party does. But we can determine our response and subsequent involvement. 

And no one could have my voice and be anything other than female. Seriously.

quote:

In this bedlam of chaos and lust, it is hard to find truth in the middle of the storm. Submission in real life is so much different than most people portray it, especially once you take children and life into account.


I agree that living in a 24/7 dynamic can be challenging when minors are in the household. Once again I feel it's a matter of personal preference and an understanding of the consequences our choices can bring. My daughter was never party to my dynamic or subject to his command. However, different opinions exist and I respect each individual's right to make the decision that's best for them. However, what you perceive as difficult could be a cakewalk for someone else. It's a matter of perspective and commitment from both sides.

Where my opinion diverges is in your belief that the information put forth is all fantastical and it's impossible to live according to the tenets the individual espouses. I am without dependents. If a gentleman wanted me to be a full-time live in slave that he had the liberty of enjoying throughout his day and was capable of supporting that lifestyle it's a possibility. I believe where problems arise is understanding where you are and how that balances with the reality you wish to create. While some can sustain M/s relations at a distance for a time, it is something I'm unwilling to do. Not because I cannot, but merely because I don't have to. The power of choice opens up a different path that may be seemingly closed for someone else.

quote:

Any thoughts on this are welcome, but in real life it is all about balance. For me it’s about filling three different needs. Mental, Emotional, and physical.


While I don't discount their importance, I recognize its interpretation is individually determined. For some, captivity is their life and they are happy to live in that manner. Other people require something different.

quote:

Being someone who has had both online, fantasy, and real life, I have found that the real life (not play dates) means so much more than anything else. Nothing can compare to the real thing. I am curious of everyone else’s thoughts, so please feel free to disagree with me.


I find that being tethered to the right man that embodies the things I need in a partner and owner will alleviate many of the concerns raised in this piece. Smart choices have the power of creating long lasting relationships.

~porcelaine

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His will; my fate.

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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 3:32:07 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

For me, and anyone in my life, it is about balance. It's usually far less kinky, less romantic, less a lot of things than most online seem to feel it should be. It's better. It's actual service, skin to skin contact, kinky fun, watching movies together, etc....... not just sitting in front of a computer screen with unrealistic, wishful thinking.

I am very protective of my family. Not many people, from the net, will soon learn where I live, let alone be able to access my family. For that reason I've been called a fake. Those same potentials lacked any common sense. If they'd had an ounce of it they would have realized that, had they had the substance to become part of 'my family' that protection would have included them also.



Sometimes, you really make me want to switch sides. 




_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 3:36:44 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I try not to over think this.  I just do it.  I know the why's of how I got into this inside and out and it isn't rocket science, it is just life.
I am sure nilla's have similar problems, how do you find time to fit in romance, keep the energy up, working around having family interfere, ect.  Things are so much easier if you don't over think and just do it, or learn to put it on a back burner for a while.

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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 4:05:27 PM   
TwistedDaddy4u


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/19/2010
Status: offline 		when family is involved it requires thinking for me. Abandon and doing what ever isnt a part of who I am, It never will be. When i am with the right person, I let go of most of my concerns, but I am always thinking about the impact it has on my children. It comes even more to bear when you are with someone who is playing a game and you are not.

I agree 100% that a full time slave even in a family life is possible, with hard work, effort, patience and understanding between both people. Like i said, no two relationships are identical, but it takes more then just going with the flow to make it really work. Submission can be seen in every aspect of someones life, from dinner, to work, to romantic evenings alone. Its a little hard to explain why mommy wears a ball gag though. lol

The hardest thing to do is to truly be open to someone, dom or sub. To expose your own flaws, your own failures, and let them see the good and bad in you. that is real courage and real strength.

Thank you for the welcome, I have been here before, but not posting. I just had things on my mind, and no one to share them with.

DS

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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 4:07:23 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I think that many people have unreal expectations of their relationships, and I think this is just as big of a reason that they fail as "communication". We expect far more than we used to from relationships, we expect people to complete us. No one can complete us, the best we can hope for is our compliment....

And I think this is a problem in our society at large, D/s just adds one more element to the mix of unreasonable expectations

_____________________________

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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 4:10:38 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I don't have young'uns, and never have. That's never been an issue.

I remain as invisible to neighbors as possible. That's just my way.

People at work know what I let them know. Rarely will I see someone from work outside of that environment, and usually not intentionally unless it's a purpose I derive. If I had the wherewithal, I wouldn't work at all and take most of real life out of the equation.

I truly call my domain 'mine', and can do in it what I want without too much of 'real life' getting in the way. If I want to live the fantasy, I can. In the future, I want to live more of the fantasy than I have had the opportunity in the past. Parts of me enjoy the kinkier aspects of the kink, where not too many want to go, and I want to explore that more.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 4:16:52 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Ya know i never have had these problems that everyone speaks about with having kids, a life, etc...having a child has never interfered in wiitwd. I just simply live my life like anyone else with one exception..he has the last say.

To anyone on the outside it just looks and feels like a traditional marriage....man as head of household.

My kid has never had some kind of problem with it except she thinks I'm "old fashioned" and she just rolls her eyes.

Then again I don't walk around calling him "Master" or acting really strange.

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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 4:22:03 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Not a bad first post. Not a great first post.

There is always a balance. for most it is not 24-7 on at all times. Maybe I am a shitty Dom but her walking behind me would do nothing to further the relationship...I would tell her to walk faster.....ketchup!!!

But there are times to take advantage of a situation. How you decide to interact is solely up to the participants.

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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 4:27:28 PM   
TwistedDaddy4u


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/19/2010
Status: offline 		the topic was supposed to be submission in real life, not unreal. Iphones arent the easiest to post on. lol. just so no one mistakes my view, I think it is very possible, and ultimately the only real way to be. I am just discussing the difficulties of it. I am a firm believer that anything is possible if we work hard at it. I have never been so happy as I was just being with my former girl, holding hands, walking though a store or watching the kids play.

anyone can do anything, and in a world like ours anything is possible. these are just my views and opinions, not looking for a good post, or a bad post, just conversation.

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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 6:00:24 PM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		When children are involved in the household, any sex is affected. This isn't just within our community. Heck look how many couples are on Dr. Phil or the equivalent complaining about a lack of time, energy, interest, etc because of trying to live their vanilla lives with children involved! Kids take time, energy, and have a tendency to be around the house until they are older. Even then you never quite know when the teens will change plans and come home once they start driving. I can't imagine adults in any situation wanting or needing to flaunt their sexual escapades in front of their children (who are generally grossed out even when just kissed in front of).

As for the D/s aspect, that really is up to the couple. There is no reason you can't live the essence of that lifestyle everyday. You just don't have to live in formal protocol every moment, and save the fetishwear for the special occasions, or for when your daughters gay friend wants to borrow your clothes to go out ...

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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 6:01:58 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

...I would tell her to walk faster.....ketchup!!!


Pulp Fiction


_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!


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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/23/2010 7:11:03 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

quote:

...I would tell her to walk faster.....ketchup!!!


Pulp Fiction



yep.

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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/24/2010 5:13:36 AM   
phoenixmoonn13


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline 		we have two kids between us one in his early twenties and one 12 yearold.. like someone said they see us as old fashioned but also loving and calm no arguments or rows my daugher even commented on how peaceful it is. when they are around i never call him master if i leave the room or need to get something etc i jsut say a very casual comment he knows the meaning of the words and will make a loving sort of comment back . i never wear underwear indoors, always serve his meals first etc. unless someone was also in teh lifestyle they probably wouldnt pick it up either. but to us we live it just some aspects sometimes are disguised. both kids are grossed out by kissing etc and we tent to keep to no more than cuddles. i tend to sit on teh floor or kneel but have always done so to my daughter that is not unusual and to his son he thinks i am jsut weird and a hippy

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RE: Submission unreal life, living around kids and life - 7/24/2010 12:31:49 PM   
TwistedDaddy4u


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/19/2010
Status: offline 		That sounds wonderful. It is great that you found the balance. It is what I hope for one day myself.

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