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LadyPact -> RE: You wanna know what? (7/24/2010 8:41:00 AM)
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This is going to be a long response, so hang in there with Me.
The eye rolling stuff. I'll try to be reasonable here. It probably won't look like it, but I really am trying.
* Topics that have been done to death. This includes stuff like "What is the difference between a sub and a slave?" or "Why are there so many pro dommes here?". I'm a huge fan of anybody typing a couple of key words into the search box to see just how much has already been written on a topic before reintroducing a question.
* Topics that could have been answered from a good reading of SM101 or any other published non fiction book on BDSM. The eyes go even further back in the head on this one if the poster just came from another thread where they were thumping their chest about how long they've been involved in wiitwd.
* Topics from one handed typists. This is an area that usually comes from those where you've never seen their screen name before, but they are under the impression that this is some kind of fuck fest or the females here are willing to have a sexual relationship with anybody with a dick. (I want to be fair about this, because some females do the same thing. I'm not gender bashing.)
* Topics that ask the forum to run the dynamic. This includes things like "How do I punish a slave?" or "What rules do I have to have in place?". If I have to tell you how to handle your submissive, exactly what are you needed for? All you're doing is being the middle man. The same thing applies to one of My personal favorites. "I am talking to a submissive, what do I do with her?"
* Topics that show exactly why you shouldn't be in the lifestyle. If the topic literally shows how mentally imbalanced or how mentally and/or emotionally immature you are, you probably need to rethink this whole thing.
* Topics that are created for attention whoring/drama purposes. I really shouldn't have to say much about that.
Your other question. What do yo consider to be experienced in the lifestyle.
I really base this on the conjugation of two different verbs. The first is "to read". The other is "to do". Let's go with the latter first.
I don't care what it is that you are doing, as long as you are actively doing it, I consider that experience. That can be anything from a full blown 24/7 M/s dynamic to somebody who just likes tying people (or being tied) up on the weekends. Even if you aren't playing, but you are actively going out of your house to munches and demos during certain times so you can learn more and hopefully find a play partner, I'm even good with that. If you are just quietly living your dynamic privately in your home, I'm all for it if that fits you. Actually experiencing something is how I define experience.
This is opposed to the verb "to read". In reading, you may be gathering research, but you're not really gathering experience. If the power supply going out on your computer dictates whether or not your involved in all of this, that's not experience. Feeling like that online Master has control over you isn't the same thing. If it's just fantasy because there's been no reality, that doesn't qualify in My book. Read and learn all you like. It's good for you. It just doesn't equal experience.
Sorry for the length, but I warned you.
*** All "you" statements are meant as a general "you" and not particularly directed to the OP.
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