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ownedblackbeauty -> only venting... (4/17/2006 7:14:48 PM)
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ive been involved with Master, Sir and spankingbeauty since about January. i do live a distance away from T/them. i went through sub fever... oh subfever!! T/they were all i thought about. still are all i think about. my training is slowly progressing. its like that song how does it go? like one step foward, two steps back... its frustrating! i live my life with Master, Sir in mind. but i do make mistakes. sometimes they are HUGE mistakes. Master, Sir will get disappointed and will ignore me or punish me... ignoring is punishing, but i just get sooo hurt! i hate that feeling of knowing that ive disappointed Him. i wish there were a way for me to not make mistakes even though i know that mistakes are ok and are part of the learning process, but it hurts so much. it really does. after Master Sir gets on me about something ive done wrong i feel like 2 inches tall. its so hard i just want to be His ultimate slave. His ultimate pleasure giver. W/we have some hills and valleys ahead of U/us. thanks for reading. i just didnt know where else to say what i hd on my mind.
slave ty
property of Master, Sir and spankingbeauty (cm.com)
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