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HayaSierra -> RE: No Limits ??? (4/19/2006 12:05:26 PM)
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Greetings everyone,
This is something that always seems to bring up discussion, and an area where I would like to comment. No limits to me means no limits within reason and within the frame of the Law. This means, that even though I am a Dominant, I am still bound by my Spiritual ground rules and by Human/Mainstream Law in my behavior and orders towards my slaves and those who completely put themselves into my hands. But it also means, anything that does not break these things, no matter how uncomfortable the thought for a slave, they are required to carry out any action I order. Silly stuff. Stupid stuff, useless stuff, tedious stuff, things that they just don't want to do for whatever reason. I never break health issues -- such as make one who is allergic to milk drink milk -- but if a slave simply does not like something -- it is fair game. Not for everyday use mind you, but there can be occasions when there will be tests.
It is also about trust. There was the time right after Rokarr begged for my Collar, and within about an hour of it, that I took out the following: a bag of cat-treats, and a small piece of chocolate that he did not see. He was kneeling, and thus not able to see my actions -- I was very obvious about the cat-treats, opened them, took one out, told him to close his eyes. Then I let him smell it again, before putting it aside and inserting the small piece of chocolate into his mouth. No protest. No hesitation. That is what I was trying to see. That to me is a sign of no limits. He knows his place in comparison to me, and he knows I will not harm him willfully, and that is all I need to know on an occasional level. Does this mean I will never make him eat a Cat-treat? No. It just means that when I tested his willingness he didn't do anything that would have been considered anything less than complete obedience.
This level of obedience and trust is also not something that I would expect from anyone right from the beginning, but something that would be worked towards slowly and with training. It basically to me means that when I say something that you simply don't want to do (but which is safe and not illegal) you would obey and do so without protesting or whining. These things should never be as bad as to cut off a body part, or to break the law, they could be as simple as -- hold still in this pose while I tease you after 37 days of chastity and no noises of whimpering even! Or about keeping to strict protocol of behavior even if you don't like it, or even about simply eating your food with a little dog-food sprinkled on top, something many would find distasteful. It is not only about willingness to do things you would otherwise not do -- but also about having the discipline to follow through on harder items that before your training might have been impossible for you to do. That is where Hanian discipline comes into play. As for the teasing in the pose, Rokarr did that as well. No noises, no movement. Perrfect!
In life it gets a lot harder than random tests of obedience. A slave of mine has to prove that they are truly mine as time goes on, and this touches into various aspects of life -- not just things such as following protocols and minding their duties -- it meants that they live by protocol and their laws even when not at my house, also that they are required to get along with others within my house even if they don't like them, to respect the Authority of those I appoint above them as Overseers and supervisors, to treat free people with a certain amount of respect even if those are ones that they don't like, and otherwise place their whole lives and everything thereof before my feet. I don't have to tell any of them to get a surgery or anything else silly or useless -- but I might tell them that they will cross train into another profession, or will form bonds of friendship with another of my household, or even the most common form -- to adopt the culture and traditions of my house into their own lives. It may come in the form of chastity, it may come in the form of quitting a bad habit, it may even come in the form of taking something seriously in study that one would have never considered before. This does not even scratch the surface, but that is where true no-limits come in handy, because I can use that willingness as a tool not only to increase trust between us, and the slave's trust in the "system" pe say, but also to enable him or her to find an avenue for growth and eventual happiness.
As for limits, I'm sure many would consider it a hard limit to truly give up your freedom. No only in words, but in actions and in thoughts -- and move out to the middle of nowhere Kansas. To change what you wear, what you eat, how you sleep, the language you speak, the festivals you celebrate, perhaps even changes in professions and how you treat others around you. It is a big step, and unless I aim for no-limits in many of mine, these steps cannot be taken in confidence in due time.
Will those in my household have a safeword after a while? No. Does my Beloved have a safeword? No. Is he to tell me when he feels pain, discomfort, or if there is any chance something might not be planned result -- yes. Do I push him in his Growth? You bet!
Would one of them do something bad/immoral/etc for me? Likely. Would I ask or order it of them? NEVER, because I am myself held to higher standards. Would one willingly suffer for me, even long term? Yes. Does this willingness make one of my household crazy, ill, or a bad person? No, it just means that they truly have given up their freedom.
Haya Sierra ---
PS: Yes, I have YET to meet one slave of mine that does not have a slight degree of fear in their hearts when they realize just how lifechanging and serious the prospect of real Ownership is and when they realize that being owned by me is different from most modern expectations. That is why I go slow, and proove myself over time. Then that little initial fear and nervousness turns into fierce loyalty and a level of discipline and obedience that I do not seen in many places.
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