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cjenny -> RE: All complaints go here! (6/2/2007 8:18:43 AM)
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Complaint.
Rant.
Whine.
Whatever you wanna call it. I just have to get this off my mind and out of my heart.
Someone that I took in for a year, never paid rent, never got a job but i let her stay cuz she was a Katrina 'victim' and I felt really badly for her situation.
She knows where I journal. She has one there too filled with snarky and really mean crap about how fucked up I am for expecting the back rent.
Stuff Im not used to having ppl say about me, much less write it in public.
It freakin hurts. Nasty stuff like 'since she has memory issues she wouldnt even remember that i paid her' 'she is so sick, that its fucked her brain up and she is useless'. Hurts. This isnt an internet spat, it has just been taken to the internet. She grabs stuff from my journal and posts it in her own making it seem like Im discussing her when Im not.
Yeah I can leave the site but the journal is important to me. It is a place where a very few folks can read n see how Im doing. Stuff I want to say to my dom I often write there. Stuff about my health. My family.
It just hurts so so much.
Im naive and trusting and apparently an easy target.
Not a hateful person. Not.
[:(]
I paid her rent in her apt a couple of months ago cuz she was struggling. She doesnt post that stuff tho lol.
I write without indicating who im writing about there. No names, No way to ID them, No real details. And very rarely do I bring her up.
It was a post about all the ppl that owe me money at a time when I need that money pretty badly. No names.
She was a friend. Let her into my home n life. Asked very little cept house cleaning and groceries. In one yr she vaccuumed once.
I know this was an incoherent post but I dont care cuz I simply needed to try and dunno..
I will never grow thicker skin at this stage in my life.
Sometimes I really fucking hate myself for being so fucking stupid and fucking unable to really see what ppl are like.
If I like someone I see them as good ppl.
Rant over. Tears not yet over. Ugh I hate crying.
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