Relationships and BDSM (Full Version)

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brokenmaleslave -> Relationships and BDSM (4/17/2006 11:14:12 PM)

Please excuse the long windedness of this question. As a male submissive/slave i am finding it increasingly harder to find Mistresses who are interested in the person rather than the size of wallet. A problem that has increased over the 6 or 7 years i have been in the lifestyle that W/we share. i am at the point now where i wonder if it is possible at all for a male submissive to have a relationship with a Domme, rather than just the paid session scenario, or if the modern taste for money has overtaken us all?



MochaMistress -> RE: Relationships and BDSM (4/17/2006 11:21:14 PM)

I find that is hard to find a submissive that isnt only looking for a session. Im actually in search of a submissive male to have a relationship with. A one on one long termed relationship. So there are those of us that arent looking for the wallets. Some of us are actually looking for someone to bring their submissive quality into ourlives. So dont get discouraged.



RiotGirl -> RE: Relationships and BDSM (4/17/2006 11:30:24 PM)

i think this should be moved to the complaint thread where i will be complaining that you didnt have this in the right thread



UtopianRanger -> RE: Relationships and BDSM (4/18/2006 12:03:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: brokenmaleslave

Please excuse the long windedness of this question. As a male submissive/slave i am finding it increasingly harder to find Mistresses who are interested in the person rather than the size of wallet. A problem that has increased over the 6 or 7 years i have been in the lifestyle that W/we share. i am at the point now where i wonder if it is possible at all for a male submissive to have a relationship with a Domme, rather than just the paid session scenario, or if the modern taste for money has overtaken us all?


      I highly suggest you either search the archives or resort to personal contact with a fellow by the name of MCWhips. He's in your neck of the woods and seems to be an authority on this subject. No offense, but continuing to peruse this subject matter will only result in ridicule [8|]


 - R




MHOO314 -> RE: Relationships and BDSM (4/18/2006 5:39:38 AM)

There are many of us who are not "Pro's" nor are we interested in the size of a wallet---it all takes time and patience. Keep searching.



ladysixty9 -> RE: Relationships and BDSM (4/18/2006 5:49:54 AM)

I have also been into the scene for 8 years and am a lifestyle Mistress but also a Pro Domme.
I think that you can find those out there that you seek.
What has increased is the guys out surfing asking to be personal subs and say they are looking for a long term relationship. When all they are looking to do is play games. It gets to where you don't want to chat with people.
My personal did start off as a client and we had the right chemistry so he became a personal sub.  I do have others  that if I had the time would take on as personals and do from time to time, but the games out there really keep my guards up.
So it makes it harder for the real people to meet up.
So we are out there it is just that many have their guards up do to so many out there playing games.
Mistress Lynn



Proprietrix -> RE: Relationships and BDSM (4/18/2006 5:50:59 AM)

I'm not interested in the size of a sub's wallet. (Or the size of his 'anything else' for that matter.) I wouldn't want some leachy bum laying on the sofa all day months after his unemployment ran out, but then, I wouldn't accept that in even a vanilla or roommate scenario.
You know, I actually find the *opposite* to be true at times. I have subs message me, and once they find out I'm not some affluent lady in a mansion on the hill, where they can dust my knick-knacks perched on marble mantles, that they might actually be expected to contribute to the household, and continue to work their menial part-time job, ... the correspondence kind of fizzles.



Lashra -> RE: Relationships and BDSM (4/18/2006 5:58:24 AM)

I make a six figure income, I'm not interested in my sub's wallet. What I am interested in is what's between his ears and other places [;)].

I don't understand what is with all the "down on the Domme's" threads lately. Do we have a bunch of spurned subs who are looking for some message board retailation? or just some whiners looking for attention?

Yes Pro's want to be paid thats how they make their living, the rest of us are just looking for sincere subs who want to serve as they claim they do. I see alot of *do me* boys running around who claim they want to serve as long as they can tell the Domme how to do it. It doesn't work that way boys and the sooner you learn that lesson the better.

~Lashra



artglfr -> RE: Relationships and BDSM (4/18/2006 6:12:02 AM)

reading your profile you start off being pretty negative practically calling the local Ladies $$$ grabbers, then you state that you TOLERATE local BDSM groups and Munches...problem solved! The Lifestylers you seek WILL be at the local Group and the Munches.

Go to munches, try being polite, do not push it but ask and Ladies you are interested in if you may refill their glass, or look to see what you could do to help them. Do they need something carried to their car? Open doors for ALL the Ladies and treat them all like the Goddess you say you are seeking. It may take a while but I would imagine if you do this AND actually get involved with the group...you are in the UK after all, at a Play Party there will be a Lady there that Will play with you. She may not be the one you were hoping for BUT treat Her like She is and before you know you will have Ladies playing with you that you can negotiate with.

From the profile you posted I get the impression you are looking for a Mistress in magazines or papers and lets face it most Ladies who are spending $$$ are probably going to be Pros!

I would remove ALL negativity in the profile, read a few other submissives profiles and when you see some that are kind of what you are feeling and what to say "Paraphrase" them, do not just copy them, and make your own personal profile.

I expect your next post to be positive, telling you are swamped by all the UK Goddesses you have been serving, how sore you are and how clean all their houses are due to your excellent cleaning skills.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Relationships and BDSM (4/18/2006 10:25:59 AM)

This is one of the times that I see the online "hookinatrix" or "Bitch Goddess" personas have done a real disservice to those in our community who do make a living at fantasy fulfillment. Pro Doms aren't hookers with whips, nor are they usually seeking 20 different atm pigs...or at least they shouldn't be, in my opinion. If you do not care to go to a Pro Dom, of course, that's your decision...and, obviously you aren't wired towards the hookinatrix or being a money pig. The best advice I can offer is to actually start looking offline, in real time. Most women you will meet at a real time social will not be Pro Doms. Even if they are, you at least get to meet and, perhaps get to know, a real person before you make a judgement.

Finding what you seek can be hard. Keep looking...a match is out there for you.

Fire




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