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The Man Rules - 7/27/2010 11:27:50 AM

SolomonKane

Posts: 13
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

The Man Rules
We always hear 'the rules' from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side :

Please note... they are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail, and witchcraft.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. ; We have NO idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Post #: 1

RE: The Man Rules - 7/27/2010 11:43:14 AM

realwhiteknight

Posts: 428
Joined: 7/13/2010
Status: offline

Men are pigs.

Welcome.

_____________________________

I carry a log - yes. Is it funny to you? It is not to me.

Behind all things are reasons. Reasons can even explain the absurd. Do we have the time to learn the reasons behind the human being's varied behavior? I think not. Some take the time.

(in reply to SolomonKane)

Post #: 2

RE: The Man Rules - 7/27/2010 11:49:26 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

Sorry for being serious in a humor thread, but Daddy does indeed mind what I wear when we go out lol. I love this baggy blue night gown I converted into a dress since I do n't sleep in clothing, and it passes well for a dress but he hates me wearing it out.

So Daddy would throw out that rule.

And Daddy absolutely does mind sleeping on the couch. It's not comfortable, and he doesn't like not being in the bed next to me, and even goes so far as to say he don't sleep as well as when he's next to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SolomonKane

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

(in reply to SolomonKane)

Post #: 3

RE: The Man Rules - 7/27/2010 9:18:56 PM

Chrisincuffs

Posts: 602
Joined: 12/7/2009
Status: offline

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or golf.

What about hockey? I can put every man I know to shame with my useless knowledge of hockey stats

_____________________________

No kind of sensation is keener and more active than pain it's impressions are unmistakable. -Marquis DeSade

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Post #: 4

RE: The Man Rules - 7/27/2010 10:09:58 PM

MissAsylum

Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline

my boyfriend and i are in tears over how funny this is. but the man "rule" that he said cannot be broken is when it comes to man-to-man(heterosexual) contact: in close areas, such as stalls, seats in the theatre, and urinals, you keep an empty space in between.

_____________________________

I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

(in reply to Chrisincuffs)

Post #: 5

RE: The Man Rules - 7/27/2010 10:17:53 PM

Maculate

Posts: 35
Joined: 7/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

1. Crying is blackmail, and witchcraft.

I love this one.

quote:

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. ; We have NO idea what mauve is.

I laughed really hard on this one also!

quote:

1. You have too many shoes.

NEVAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

_____________________________

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars." ~Oscar Wilde

(in reply to SolomonKane)

Post #: 6

RE: The Man Rules - 7/27/2010 10:55:03 PM

MissAsylum

Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline

i (heart) you. a shoe lover like me! my boyfriend INSISTS that 3 pairs of louboutins are enough. blasphemy i do declare!

_____________________________

I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

(in reply to Maculate)

Post #: 7

RE: The Man Rules - 7/27/2010 11:25:16 PM

Zevar

Posts: 801
Status: offline

Let's see, Blue Collar Comedy Show practice run. Right? You know, git er done stand up comedy material??

(in reply to SolomonKane)

Post #: 8

RE: The Man Rules - 7/27/2010 11:37:35 PM

SaintAllie

Posts: 158
Joined: 3/23/2006
Status: offline

I had to edit my response because men are not pigs.

Allie

< Message edited by SaintAllie -- 7/27/2010 11:43:02 PM >

_____________________________

........"I am determined to press onward through my fears. When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." ---Audre Lorde

Keep NZ nuclear free..

(in reply to realwhiteknight)

Post #: 9

RE: The Man Rules - 7/27/2010 11:51:10 PM

Maculate

Posts: 35
Joined: 7/8/2010
Status: offline

This should be a sacrilegious comment! :O I think I will never be satisfied with the amount of shoes I have. There is NO such thing as a limit, especially to Louboutin. Dastardly.

_____________________________

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars." ~Oscar Wilde

(in reply to MissAsylum)

Post #: 10

RE: The Man Rules - 7/28/2010 5:26:27 AM

MissAsylum

Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline

he has no right to say anything, so i pay him no mind. this man owns(and i'm NOT telling porkies about this)80 pairs of sneakers and 28 pairs of casual/dressy shoes. Maths aren't my best subject, but i do believe that comes to 108 pairs. i have 60 pairs of all types of shoes that i was able to afford while being responsible with my money. however, he never complains when i wear my Gressimo Louboutin's in bed. (google them, you'll see why i almost orgasmed from the sight of them)

_____________________________

I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

(in reply to Maculate)

Post #: 11

RE: The Man Rules - 7/28/2010 5:33:26 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

The Man Rules
We always hear 'the rules' from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side :

About time!

Welcome to the boards. lol

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to SolomonKane)

Post #: 12

RE: The Man Rules - 7/28/2010 11:03:13 AM

MercTech

Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

The only GOOD reason for always keeping the toilet seat down is to keep the lid on so the hound dog doesn't throw up from drinking the blue water.

And I'm thoroughly convinced that women's shoes are all designed by misogynistic aging queens that want to cripple the distaff sex.

Stefan

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 13

RE: The Man Rules - 7/29/2010 5:02:42 AM

MissAsylum

Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline

which is the exact reason why high heel shoe inserts were invented.

_____________________________

I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

(in reply to MercTech)

Post #: 14

RE: The Man Rules - 7/29/2010 12:05:07 PM

TwistedHeart74

Posts: 722
Joined: 9/17/2009
Status: offline

Wait..too many shoes? How is this possible? There is no such thing as TOO many!! You just need more closet space...like a room the size of Macy's

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Sir D's brat

I have a condition...it's called uncunteditis. Ask Porcelaine for details.

Member Lance's Fag Hags

(in reply to MissAsylum)

Post #: 15

RE: The Man Rules - 8/1/2010 12:14:26 PM

MercTech

Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwistedHeart74

Wait..too many shoes? How is this possible? There is no such thing as TOO many!! You just need more closet space...like a room the size of Macy's

Ok... flashback to the Imelda Marcos shoe museum in Manila....

Stefan

(in reply to TwistedHeart74)

Post #: 16

RE: The Man Rules - 8/1/2010 2:21:10 PM

MissAsylum

Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline

well being to good boyfriend that he is, he is trying to learn how to build me a custom shoe shelf/rack...thingy. my shoes has no place underneath my bed!

_____________________________

I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

(in reply to TwistedHeart74)

Post #: 17

RE: The Man Rules - 8/1/2010 4:16:51 PM

YourLovelyAngel

Posts: 59
Joined: 7/30/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SolomonKane
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

Shoot I can't even remember what I said three days ago

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum
however, he never complains when i wear my Gressimo Louboutin's in bed. (google them, you'll see why i almost orgasmed from the sight of them)

Oh god I have to have a pair!

(in reply to MissAsylum)

Post #: 18

RE: The Man Rules - 8/1/2010 5:45:53 PM

MissAsylum

Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline

please treat yourself! those are my favourite ones hands down! mine were around 800, but i've worn them almost 3 times a week since i've had them, so they pay themselves off in no time.

_____________________________

I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

(in reply to YourLovelyAngel)

Post #: 19

RE: The Man Rules - 8/2/2010 8:51:18 AM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

please treat yourself! those are my favourite ones hands down! mine were around 800, but i've worn them almost 3 times a week since i've had them, so they pay themselves off in no time.

$800 for SHOES? You can get a custom flyrod (OK, gra[hite, not bamboo) for that. Where ARE your priorities woman?

(in reply to MissAsylum)

Post #: 20

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