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Yeth, Mathster! - 7/31/2010 6:51:25 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		This is a thread about compliance. I'm really not interested in the gory details of what you may order or be ordered, inspired etc. to do, but rather how it makes you feel when you comply or when your partner complies with such an order.

S-types: If it's something that you like, does it elate you, feed you, nurture you, make you happy, silly.. something else? Do you need to process those kinds of feelings or just embrace them with gratitude and move on to the next thing. Something else?

What about doing things which you neither like nor dislike? Does it leave you feeling ambivalent since you neither like nor dislike a given instruction or direction with which to comply? Are those the sorts of feelings which you need to process or do they just wash over you without lasting impact? Do you have feelings at all on these things that you are to do for your dom which are more in the *eh* category. (Hoping this makes sense!)

And last, how about those things which are very hard for you or you specifically do not like to do but have agreed to do for whatever reason? Do you get physical reactions from the feelings? Upset stomach, headaches or something which a strong adverse feeling to compliance may bring on you? Perhaps you don't really feel anything but go into auto mode to get the job done which is expected of you? Something very different?

D-types: Sort of the same sorts of questions but obviously exactly the opposite. What feelings go through you when you see your commands carried out in a happy manner as opposed to one where your s-type is obviously struggling. What about commands which don't appear to cause any reaction at all? Does it matter what is felt, internally, by the s or does the reaction of the s not matter as long as the directive is obeyed? Do you take pride when your s carries out a difficult task even if they had to struggle or do you get annoyed or irritated they had to struggle at all? Something else?



To answer for myself; if I carry out a directive which makes me happy because I like doing X, I just enjoy the happy feelings for what they are and I do appreciate being given that opportunity for those times. An example would be if Himself had me cook him a specific meal because he really likes the way I cook that meal. That makes me very, very happy since I love to cook and cooking is not just for his pleasure.. it brings me a great deal of pleasure as well. When I am cooking something that I am assured he's going to enjoy, you will actually hear me humming as I putter around the kitchen and I'll have a big grin on my face when I set it before him.

When I carry out a directive in which I am not invested one way or the other, especially if it is something which I don't need to put any brain power into or it's just some sort of robotic action like ironing shirts for a business trip, my mind will tend to wander while my body complies and completes the action. The thing is, even in those times my mind will tend to wander in his direction since I am doing something for him as opposed to doing something which just needs to be done anyway. So, ironing shirts because he told me.. I think about him. Doing laundry just because laundry needs to be done and not because he told me, the field is wide open as to what I may think about.. sometimes I think about starting threads on compliance when I'm in the middle of scrubbing toilets.

Carrying out commands when they are things I don't like is generally going to be the hardest. I am a good slave to Himself (would probably be lousy for someone else!) but I am not perfect. My service is not always whistling a happy tune and skippity do dah so when he has me do things for him that I do not like, yes, I do them and no, I wouldn't grumble under my breath or anything like that but I can get physical reactions from the discomfort of the feelings that are evoked by those kinds of commands. I know he doesn't want to hear it.. when it's hard for me because 99 times out of 100 he's having me do something for him which is unhealthy for him so that sucks and I do react and I do remind (once) that X or Y shouldn't be combined with his medications or that we are doing (________ <-- fill in the blank) and his command may effect that activity etc., he may or may not give further thought to the command but in any event, I am allowed to remind (two heads being better than one) and then his final decision is carried out regardless of how it makes me feel. If I need to process at all, it's going to be with the few negatives not the joyful or even the mundane.

Most of the time I feel wonderful in service to him.. once in a great while, I feel rotten.

How about you all?



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 7/31/2010 7:05:47 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Being obeyed makes me feel loved and cared for.  And if it's in bed, that makes it hot as hell.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 7/31/2010 7:14:13 AM   
txurinal


Posts: 209
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		MASTERS sometimes make odd requests. Maybe just to see if YOU will obey or maybe because it amuses THEM. This week at my MASTER"S door was a note to remove all my clothes before knocking and to wait til HE opened the door. So there is a naked slave waiting outside on the porch hoping the neighbors won't call the cops before it gets inside

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 7/31/2010 7:15:48 AM   
MHAP


Posts: 58
Joined: 9/17/2009
Status: offline 		D (type)
I wound say i feel, "Right" when my sub. obeys happily. its not just the "control" its the connection i feel with her, she will do as i wish because she "really" wants to please me... not because of any theat on punishment. (I can make her do anything, and she will if it pleases me.)

I can explore any sexual desire, and she will enjoy it, totaly without shame..because she believes it pleases me.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 7/31/2010 7:17:52 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		with the right person, compliance makes me feel content, safe, calm, and at peace.

In day to day life, stuff I like doing, it makes me very happy. Stuff I'm ambivalent about, I feel calm and peaceful and content (those words again!)

Stuff I don't like doing is possibly the best - I may not like doing it, but I like the feeling that he would be happy that I'd done it.

In bed - compliance is just hot. Doesn't matter whether I love something or hate something, it's HOT!!

All I need to do now is find the guy to do this stuff for! lol

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 7/31/2010 7:20:37 AM   
pwnerandpwned


Posts: 83
Joined: 4/13/2010
Status: offline 		I've never been asked this...so...I wanna reply (mainly to think about the answer, and if someone reads it and finds it interesting, double points!)

From my (dominant) perspective, it makes me feel loved, proud, touched, and other words depending on the specific action. I feel in every relationship (d/s or not), the partners should be looking to do things for each other. In this dynamic, though, there is just so much contentment with knowing you've made the agreement that you're going to be honest and forthright with your needs/desires and the other has agreed to fulfill those...there's no bickering or trying to trick. So...besides the mooshy love/proud/humbled/etc, it just makes me feel content. As for the reaction of the submissive, yes that has a lot to do with how I feel. Happy to do it for me - great! Suffering through something, not enjoying the act, but it's okay because it's for me - great! Being irritated and pissy about the specific directive - everything but great. There was a lot of talk about this in the early stages of our relationship. For me, following direction with a bad attitude is like the kid who was forced to apologize to his siblings, and growls it out in an angry snotty voice and walks off -- worthless; no sorry at all is better.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 7/31/2010 7:59:50 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
D-types: Sort of the same sorts of questions but obviously exactly the opposite. What feelings go through you when you see your commands carried out in a happy manner as opposed to one where your s-type is obviously struggling. What about commands which don't appear to cause any reaction at all? Does it matter what is felt, internally, by the s or does the reaction of the s not matter as long as the directive is obeyed? Do you take pride when your s carries out a difficult task even if they had to struggle or do you get annoyed or irritated they had to struggle at all? Something else?

One thing that I have always said about clip in particular is that I have never had to remind him that he is to be pleasing or joyful in service.  Overall, the boy has a wonderful positive attitude that is downright infectious.  That covers the things that he likes to do as well as the things that he is indifferent about.  I'm not especially concerned if his mind wanders during that mundane tasks that I expect him to do.  I don't see his service to Me as some type of mental vacuum where the only thought in his head is Me.  As long as his primary focus is the completion of the task at hand and it is being accomplished, I'm good with that.

Being as someone who believes that submission doesn't necessarily mean that a person is going to like or feel happy about absolutely every command that is given, I understand that there are times that there is going to be a struggle.  It's always easier to do the things we want to do as opposed to the things we don't want to do.  To Me, these are shining moments in a D/s or M/s dynamic.  The fact that the struggle can be overcome and obedience reigns.  I am always proud of anyone who can get past a hurdle and is doing so specifically for Me.

In those cases where there is some inner turmoil but I know that no real harm is going to come of a situation, I happen to find that particularly delicious.  Somebody trying a new type of play that they have always had a hesitation about or pushing in an area that is more than they have done before is a real treat.  Who wouldn't be proud of something like that? 

My particular playtime favorites are first time needle bottoms and straight male dildo or cock virgins.  The latter especially if it does feel unnatural to them.  I think that's why I get off so much on watching males suck a strap on.  Not only is it hot to watch, but I'm enjoying their discomfort in something they wouldn't normally do. 

I'd better stop there.  It's probably more than you wanted to know and this train of thought could very easily lead to Me being horny the rest of the day.

Edited because being aroused seems to increase My number of spelling mistakes. 


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 7/31/2010 8:02:06 AM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 7/31/2010 8:05:55 AM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

with the right person, compliance makes me feel content, safe, calm, and at peace.

In day to day life, stuff I like doing, it makes me very happy. Stuff I'm ambivalent about, I feel calm and peaceful and content (those words again!)

Stuff I don't like doing is possibly the best - I may not like doing it, but I like the feeling that he would be happy that I'd done it.

In bed - compliance is just hot. Doesn't matter whether I love something or hate something, it's HOT!!

All I need to do now is find the guy to do this stuff for! lol



You said it perfectly

It's almost a no brainer to comply with the things I like doing. It's the things I don't like that are the challenge. Although it's never an issue as to whether I will comply. it's the end result of knowing that I've made him happy that makes it worthwhile.


(in reply to myotherself)
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RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 7/31/2010 8:24:14 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

straight male dildo or cock virgins.  The latter especially if it does feel unnatural to them.  I think that's why I get off so much on watching males suck a strap on.  Not only is it hot to watch, but I'm enjoying their discomfort in something they wouldn't normally do. 

I'd better stop there.  It's probably more than you wanted to know and this train of thought could very easily lead to Me being horny the rest of the day.

Edited because being aroused seems to increase My number of spelling mistakes. 
[/color]


Uh...yeah me too....damn you that girl!


Celeste,

Other than one relationship, I don't usually have orders outside the bedroom. Whether it is something I love or hate, my focus is on him and I don't really stop to think about it either way. It's all hot to me and it's all emotionally fulfilling because it makes him happy.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 7/31/2010 8:45:38 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		(besides my normal duties) it helps enormously when He can be bothered to order me to do something i do not like doing, if i have to do things i dislike totally on my own steam i often try to 'forget' or delay... usually it takes twice as long

also things i enjoy doing but are of absolutely no use to anybody, like being on here, when He orders me to shut down the computer i will immediately without trouble, if He leaves it up to me i just waste away in cyber space

i suppose for Him it is quite a power rush to bark an order and see me jump, but He can not always be bothered.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 7/31/2010 9:09:47 AM   
attendedone


Posts: 12
Joined: 4/24/2010
Status: offline 		I feel a great deal of love, comfort and warmth when my requests are honored. How nice to have your lead followed--no griping or hesitation--a true sense of compliance and surrender. I would agree that when this happens in the bedroom, it is hot beyond words and outside the bedroom, it carries an even deeper sense of respect and love.

(in reply to ranja)
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RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 7/31/2010 9:47:45 AM   
Chrisincuffs


Posts: 602
Joined: 12/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

S-types: If it's something that you like, does it elate you, feed you, nurture you, make you happy, silly.. something else? Do you need to process those kinds of feelings or just embrace them with gratitude and move on to the next thing. Something else?

I would have to say if it's something I like I go to great lengths to please and then feel proud and motivated to accomplish more.

quote:

What about doing things which you neither like nor dislike

I see them as a something to be done in order to move on to bigger and better things.

quote:

And last, how about those things which are very hard for you or you specifically do not like to do but have agreed to do for whatever reason? Do you get physical reactions from the feelings? Upset stomach, headaches or something which a strong adverse feeling to compliance may bring on you? Perhaps you don't really feel anything but go into auto mode to get the job done which is expected of you? Something very different?

I often experience physical reactions towards some less than liked demands. Generally these are punishments that warrant these feelings. Stomach aches and mild anxiety attacks are the most common for me. I try not to put these demands off and get them over as quickly as possible. After accomplishing them, usually Master and I talk about them. We talk about his reasoning in choosing the task and allows me to process everything. This is where sympathy and praise means the most to me and gives me reinforcement in following Him.
This was a great thread OP thank you for posting it. The way I see it can't be all fun and games, then it wouldn't be real



_____________________________

No kind of sensation is keener and more active than pain it's impressions are unmistakable. -Marquis DeSade

(in reply to attendedone)
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RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 7/31/2010 9:55:29 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I have never been in a dynamic where orders were done outside of the bedroom. Inside, I love to be ordered around of course.

Outside, if I am in a relationship, I just do whatever I can to help my partner, which I would expect would be reciprocated as part of a loving, giving, supportive relationship. To me, that is just normal.

(in reply to Chrisincuffs)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 7/31/2010 10:13:35 AM   
WestBaySlave


Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline 		For me, I can split it into four main categories...

Things I'm ordered to do that I enjoy doing.

The fun stuff! The ideal situation for both, I feel. Not much explanation necessary, this part of things has always worked itself out well for me and any dominant partner. It's the kind of stuff that makes me search out a long-term D/s.

Things I'm ordered to do that I'm indifferent to.

This has often been surprisingly tricky, especially when it comes to sexual interests. From my side it's simple - I enjoy pleasing my dom, so pleasing him even in ways I'm ho-hum about can be enjoyable and at worst just a part of everyday life. The conflict tends to come when there's something that's really important to the dom that, on its own, is something I'm indifferent to.

A great example is the leather fetishists I've ran into. From my side, I started out with an apparently naive idea that being happy to wear whatever a dominant with a particular clothing or outfit paraphilia liked would be enough - time and time again, this has proven to be wrong. A number of leather-identified men have been almost devastated when I've told them it doesn't particularly matter to me what they're wearing, a few even getting mad at me for "not respecting their sexuality" or similar ( a comment that still kind of confuses me ). It seems dominants with these paraphilias need subs with matching paraphilias, rather than subs just happy to please their needs.

Things I'm ordered to do that I don't like, but will do.

These things are things that will come up and I'll get through, but I find there is an unspoken game of percentages where the more of this there is the more unwelcome tension there is in a relationship. If it's more than, say, 50% of the time, I find myself getting increasingly depressed even if I like the man, and begin to enjoy time away from him more than time together.

In small amounts these things can make my dom happy and me feel accomplished, in large amounts it wears me out and erodes our bond.

Things I'm ordered to do that I won't do.

Deal-breakers - either we talk about it and resolve it one way or another, or we go our separate ways.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 7/31/2010 10:14:24 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		If it's something I like or I'm indifferent about I do it and that's it. I don't feel anything one way or another except happy to be doing something that makes him happy. I like pleasing him.

If it's something I don't like I may hesitate to do it quickly because I need to process it and get myself in the right headspace to complete the task but in the end I still do it. After I'm done though and he knows I struggled with it we will usually talk about it and he will tell me how pleased he is with me knowing it was difficult for me which is what makes all the difference...knowing he understands how difficult it was and how happy he is with me. At that point I'm happy and grateful to have someone like him in my life.




(in reply to sexyred1)
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RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 8/1/2010 7:51:59 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I loved the way WestBaySlave broke it down!

The tasks I've done within my relationship have led to a wide range of emotions - sometimes very positive, sometimes extremely negative, and sometimes totally ambivalent. Some I even roll my eyes over. No matter what the case, I get the job done, and typically take it a step farther than I was asked to. I show the best attitude that I possibly can.

However, I am very much a task driven person. As a rule the harder the task the better. I like something I can really sink my teeth into. I am not micromanaged but am allowed a lot of leeway for creativity, so I do my best to shine. The pride that I feel when going through a task that is very difficult for me emotionally, and the knowledge that I kept my integrity, are reward in and of themselves. If the Master chooses to reward me in some way on top of that, even with a simple show of appreciation, I am in seventh heaven.

_____________________________



(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 8/1/2010 8:35:43 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He doesn't want me to fail. Or have to refuse because of the magnitude of the difficulty. Causing anxiety attacks here is not permitted. He won't do it to me and I'm not allowed to do things that might cause one.

If it's that difficult, he'll stop it. He'll give me time to process it, and learn about it, and bring it back up for discussion when I'm ready. And then he tries it again six months later when he doesn't think it will get the same reaction.

And some things just require him to explain it and walk me through it until I can do it.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 8/1/2010 9:13:00 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
D-types: Sort of the same sorts of questions but obviously exactly the opposite. What feelings go through you when you see your commands carried out in a happy manner as opposed to one where your s-type is obviously struggling. What about commands which don't appear to cause any reaction at all? Does it matter what is felt, internally, by the s or does the reaction of the s not matter as long as the directive is obeyed? Do you take pride when your s carries out a difficult task even if they had to struggle or do you get annoyed or irritated they had to struggle at all? Something else?

I'm a pretty straight-forward guy... I like what I say I like which is Carol's obedience. Sometimes the commands I give are a struggle for her, other times they are a joy. What floats my boat is the feeling that Carol's obedience to my command is assured no matter what that command is.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 8/1/2010 10:11:46 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

One thing that I have always said about clip in particular is that I have never had to remind him that he is to be pleasing or joyful in service.  Overall, the boy has a wonderful positive attitude that is downright infectious.  That covers the things that he likes to do as well as the things that he is indifferent about.  I'm not especially concerned if his mind wanders during that mundane tasks that I expect him to do.  I don't see his service to Me as some type of mental vacuum where the only thought in his head is Me.  As long as his primary focus is the completion of the task at hand and it is being accomplished, I'm good with that.

Being as someone who believes that submission doesn't necessarily mean that a person is going to like or feel happy about absolutely every command that is given, I understand that there are times that there is going to be a struggle.  It's always easier to do the things we want to do as opposed to the things we don't want to do.  To Me, these are shining moments in a D/s or M/s dynamic.  The fact that the struggle can be overcome and obedience reigns.  I am always proud of anyone who can get past a hurdle and is doing so specifically for Me.


You summed up my thoughts perfectly.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Yeth, Mathster! - 8/1/2010 11:44:35 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I have been known to do things that were ..... distasteful, because the consequences for me of refusing were worse than doing the task.  To put myself into conflict with my dom causes anxiety and nausea, and if it goes on for too long, diarrhea.   I'm very visceral - lol.  I like peace and harmony and coke - so being pleasing is a great way for me to stay happy and healthy.

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 20
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