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Accepting a Mistress...? - 7/31/2010 11:01:06 AM   
Sassette


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/23/2010
Status: offline 		Hi there, my problem is accepting the notion of another female dominating me. All through my life I've found myself naturally being the dominant force around other females, whether friends or in the bedroom, and haven't really thought much of it. I'm a submissive to males (who earn it of course), and now only really to my Master (and husband). But ever since a chance online encounter on another site with a Domme, I've been intrigued. I don't easily submit in any situation (though Master has definitely been working on that... *wince*) but I think the hardest part will be finding the right Domme who could take me in hand along side Master. But looking through some profiles and such, I just can't picture it. I see faces that look like all the other pretty girls who've melted against me, instead of the other way around... I don't really know what I'm asking, just general comments and advice would be awesome I guess ^^

~Sass
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RE: Accepting a Mistress...? - 7/31/2010 11:07:07 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		If you don't feel submissive to women, then you don't feel submissive to women. Or maybe, submissive AT ALL. It's not something that can be forced, or coerced.

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RE: Accepting a Mistress...? - 7/31/2010 11:09:35 AM   
Sassette


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/23/2010
Status: offline 		That's my problem, I'm a bit of a contradiction. I am interested in being dominated by a female, physically, I just guess the brain side of things is having more trouble accepting the idea just because it's not the norm. It was probably a useless post to put up, I just felt the need to get some outside input I guess >.<

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RE: Accepting a Mistress...? - 7/31/2010 11:16:22 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Bottoming is an option, right? Who says you have to be all submissive? Just go out and play.

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RE: Accepting a Mistress...? - 7/31/2010 11:20:27 AM   
Sassette


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/23/2010
Status: offline 		Very true. And I am actively searching for someone to play with in that sense, and for someone to play with, with me as the dominant. I also don't think I could have that as the same person, I feel like my dominant streak is to prominent for me to ever submit to someone who has submitted to me... if that makes sense? Haha, I think I'm just starved for conversation on subjects like this.

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RE: Accepting a Mistress...? - 7/31/2010 11:22:42 AM   
FelineFae


Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline 		Have you ever had a good old vanilla platonic friendship with a woman, that you would say had a more dominant role in the friendship ?
When you'd go shopping, did you ever buy something for yourself because she told you that you looked great in it ?
Perhaps looking at your situation from this perspective can give you the insight you're looking for.

e2a
Lady H has wise !

< Message edited by FelineFae -- 7/31/2010 11:24:15 AM >

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RE: Accepting a Mistress...? - 7/31/2010 11:28:16 AM   
Sassette


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/23/2010
Status: offline 		Hmmm... I see what you're getting at. Maybe that would help. I guess in that sense then I'd need to be looking at the girl/woman as a friend first, then seeing what potential is from there on in. But all this said and done, I'm sure when I'm finally in the situation if the Domme is comfortable enough with her position all my nitpicking will come to naught. I just feel it has to be a careful selection, because if at any point I turn the tables on her... her chance is lost. I am a Switch, who yes prefers submission, but if my dominant streak is wakened... it can cause quite a sting! hehe.

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RE: Accepting a Mistress...? - 7/31/2010 12:53:16 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I don't understand the complexity of the question.

Join your local munch group so that you can attend play parties.  Once at the party, see if there is a female who is interested in topping you.  If you like it, maybe she will be agreeable to playing more.  If you don't, then it's not a big deal.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Most Dommes that I know aren't all that concerned about switches 'turning the tables' on them.  It's either a case of you want to bottom or you don't.  Try it, and some Dommes will head for play times that don't involve the little power game.


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RE: Accepting a Mistress...? - 7/31/2010 1:06:23 PM   
Sassette


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/23/2010
Status: offline 		I have to work it in with my Master. We're more looking for a third then just for me to explore by myself. So I'm not sure if such play parties will work for us. But I will look into it. Thankyou for your input.

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RE: Accepting a Mistress...? - 7/31/2010 4:38:48 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sassette

I guess in that sense then I'd need to be looking at the girl/woman as a friend first, then seeing what potential is from there on in.


This.

When you find someone who likes and values you for who you are, you may be more willing submit to her.

True story:
I have a friend who is a switch male and a hardcore fetishist. We've recently started playing together and I've gone to some lengths to incorporate his fetishes into our play in a way that appeals to both of us. During our last play date, he told me the fact that I love his mind and care about him as a person makes it easy for him to submit.

So look for someone you like and respect and who feels the same way about you. You'll be less likely to feel like "turning the tables" on her because you already respect her. And even if you do, she'll like you and respect you enough not to take offense.

Good luck and have fun!

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