RE: the single most important trait

RE: the single most important trait (Full Version)

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HisEvelyn -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 12:46:52 AM)
I need a Master who is intensely trustworthy and compassionate. I can handle doing some amazingly kinky things and really enjoy them, but I need to know that on the occasions my past abuse and trauma catches up to me, I am safe to cry and be held and not made to feel guilty for having a moment of not being able to handle everything. A Master who is empathetic enough to know that there are times I will be afraid, not because of him or anything he has done, but simply because there are parts of me I am still working to fix. I'm an ongoing project. :)

ranja -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 4:57:29 AM)
Yes, sense of humour is at the top of the list ... and then there was this very important need that i wanted a man who would want to care for me, He was the first and the one and only person ever to offer me that... it totally bowled me over.

lally2 -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 5:02:35 AM)
- have to say the whole chickpea thing - youd have ended up wearing the fecking thing! - and im not a Domme either [&:] idiosyncratic, off the wall, eccentric and someone who doesnt follow the herd are all traits i find really interesting - since im a bit that way too, anyone who is conservative, dogmatic and 'set in their ways' is a complete no - no. i like un-predicatibility, spontaneity and a challenging attitude, someone who challenges my ideas and concepts and makes me think about them. if they can turn me around and help me to see something in a different way im fascinated. and of course a sense of humour - if we dont laugh we wont bond.

sexyred1 -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 7:24:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy You need to gel. You need to have desire to be in each other's presence as if the dynamic were not present. Meaning you have to enjoy that person for everything that they are and be able to accept them for what they are not. It is not enough for the majority to rely on bdsm to be the cornerstone of the relationship. Deep man, real deep. Agreed. For me, the most important quality is honesty, both to one's self and to each other. I do agree with domi in that you really have to like a person as they are and not have expectations that they will change. D/s isn't going to get you past serious compatibility issues, ever. This totally. Even if you have major compatibility in D/s, having it nowhere else is a death knell to the relationship. Things I look for: honesty, loyality, empathy, compassion, humor, positive outlook, consistency, that whole actions speak louder than words thing. Common vanilla interests are good as well, but they don't have to be the same. I would say the most important thing is that we like each other outside of the bedroom.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 7:39:26 AM)
Definitely a good sense of humor and a kind nature. I don't wanna date Ghandi or Mother Theresa, but there has to be more to the sense of humor than just a quick wit and stinging sarcasm. Let's face it. He's gonna have to have a good sense of humor and a small degree of sarcasm just to relate to me at all. But, it would have to be tempered with kindness. It would also be nice if he liked me. That's pretty much numero uno on my list. If he likes me, most of his other faults and lack of judgement pales in comparison. WinD

poise -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 8:02:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dreamless But in all seriousness, my required trait is a love of life. I cannot be with someone gloomy, depressive and mournful who can't enjoy little things and do silly things on occasion. My best moments have been spent sprawled out on a bed with someone counting sparkles on the roof, and this sort of enjoyment of life. [image]http://i685.photobucket.com/albums/vv215/ice_0/ththyeahthat.gif[/image] ...............and good hygiene!

DesFIP -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 8:37:40 AM)
He can't take out his bad days on me. I don't care if someone cut you off while driving, don't yell at me as a result. If you need to rant, then say so. I'm not interested in being his scapegoat. Tell your boss off, go for a run, meditate. Don't take your moods out on me.

KatyLied -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 8:49:32 AM)
quote: particular single most important trait in your potential master, due to some quirk of your personality or situation? Intelligence. Because I am intelligent and can't stand dumb guys.

LadyPact -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 9:03:49 AM)
OP, you are absolutely right. It must take somebody very special to deal with you. I wouldn't have tolerated the story that you told coming from My submissive at all. At some point during that conversation, I'd have said that I told you no and that would have been the end of it. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I actually expect to be the person in authority in the dynamic. I'll echo the honesty and integrity comment that was made earlier as My answer regarding the question.

DarkSteven -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 9:10:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact OP, you are absolutely right. It must take somebody very special to deal with you. I wouldn't have tolerated the story that you told coming from My submissive at all. At some point during that conversation, I'd have said that I told you no and that would have been the end of it. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I actually expect to be the person in authority in the dynamic. Agreed. Not only was OP topping from the bottom and trying to push him, but it was lasting at least half an hour. I don't like being pushed around, and certainly not for any length of time, by my sub.

sublizzie -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 9:18:31 AM)
The chickpea story makes me wonder what's going to happen the next time she's in restraints... Then who'll be getting the last laugh?

ranja -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 9:30:34 AM)
And i just remembered that i had decided before i met Him that my man should be confident with tools... and although smart definitely not the studenty type

RealSub58 -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 10:00:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laineyjade I didn't mean to ask about the general traits one would normally want in any dominant, such as "authenticity" or "honesty" and so forth. Anyone would want those. I meant to ask about possibly quirky or unusual traits that you personally need in a dominant (or submissive) because you, yourself, have some unusual facet to your personality or living situation. a particular interest in a certain baseball team.............. ...the gods must be crazy.... !!

RealSub58 -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 10:03:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact OP, you are absolutely right. It must take somebody very special to deal with you. I wouldn't have tolerated the story that you told coming from My submissive at all. At some point during that conversation, I'd have said that I told you no and that would have been the end of it. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I actually expect to be the person in authority in the dynamic. Agreed. Not only was OP topping from the bottom and trying to push him, but it was lasting at least half an hour. I don't like being pushed around, and certainly not for any length of time, by my sub. There was a lengthy and uncomfortable silence on the phone the 2 times I attempted to joke....... "what's up" he asked "the sky" I responded never again

porcelaine -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 10:06:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP He can't take out his bad days on me. I don't care if someone cut you off while driving, don't yell at me as a result. If you need to rant, then say so. I'm not interested in being his scapegoat. Tell your boss off, go for a run, meditate. Don't take your moods out on me. Ditto. ~porcelaine

junecleaver -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 12:15:01 PM)
Someone who can see all of my crazy and creepy and be okay with it. I find there are not many men that can accept this. I burn out very easily if I have to pretend that I'm not crazy and creepy. I hate playing games of not showing someone how much you like them or wondering if they are going to think you are weird and be turned off by you. I need to be able to say at least 75%-80% of what passes through my head and still be accepted explicitly. I would totally have been annoyed in your scenario. Definitely an issue of compatibility.

MercTech -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 12:27:50 PM)
I had to grin aobut the chickpeas.... What I was dealing with was a friend that, "Don't eat that raghead crap!" Hummus with chipotle peppers, fresh tomato, avacado, and wasabi. He told his girl to get the recipe cause he really loved that dip. Now, when he found out it wasn't manicoti for dinner but stuffed calimari..... I think he killed a whole bottle of scotch trying to flush the imaginary cooties off his palate. Food predjudice if fun to f*$k with, but please, no balut. Stefan

porcelaine -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 12:45:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: junecleaver I hate playing games of not showing someone how much you like them or wondering if they are going to think you are weird and be turned off by you. I need to be able to say at least 75%-80% of what passes through my head and still be accepted explicitly. Ditto. And those that try to backdoor through friendship. [:D] ~porcelaine

littlewonder -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 1:20:03 PM)
ok so after some thought on this...a man who could handle the fact that I'm a young widow with a child and I'm a single parent and isn't going to be "gentle" with me because he feels sorry for me and isn't constantly going to feel like he has to handle me with kid gloves. It's a huge problem I had when starting to date again. and someone that wasn't going to run away as soon as they realized that my kid has some mental issues.

colosub -> RE: the single most important trait (8/1/2010 1:43:46 PM)
He must have a beautiful cock and saggy balls......Mmmmm [;)]

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