RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (Full Version)

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PeanutTigerinBox -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 3:03:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

You would at least respect the hours they said you couldn't call because of being asleep though right?

Cause I know for me, if we  were considering each other, even though I am a female and you're seeking males only most likely, if you called me say at 1 in the morning randomly as some kind of test, and I had told you, do not call after 10:30 I will be sleeping since I go to bed at 10:30 to be getting enough sleep for work, and you called me at 1 am randomly to just test to see who answered I'd be pissed lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia

I call at random times to see if another female answers,



Lol, that actually happened on my first trip to Canada to meet Master M 2 years ago, where all of a sudden his phone rang in the middle of the night [8|]




WyldHrt -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 3:44:43 PM)

Sigh, where to start...
quote:

I'm assuming that they don't troll the message forums, so here are some of the telltale signs:

The good ones, and the bosses that run scammer gangs do, in fact peruse the message boards of sites they are 'working'. Most low level scammers know nothing at all about WIITWD, and out themselves early on. The better ones come to the forums to learn enough about it to sound credible, at least to someone who does not suspect that they are being 'worked'.

This is why I do not like to see lists like this (sorry, Steven) or information on email services that strip IPs posted on open forums. Not all scammers are stupid, and some will learn how to 'improve' their profiles and/or skills from posts such as these. Personally, I prefer to let the scammers keep making the mistakes that make them easy to spot.

Information on tracking IPs is valuable, although it can be misused. I will suggest that anyone concerned about being tracked by IP go here:
http://www.whatismyip.com
and click the IP address lookup tool on the left side of the page. Mine tracks to a town about 20 miles away. The biggest danger is to those who send emails from work, as most private internet access uses dynamic rather than static IP addresses. Companies, particularly large ones, tend to have a static IP address, meaning that the IP does not change and is often easily traced. Send an email using yahoo from your office at lunch, and the person you sent it to could know where you work in about 5 minutes if the company has a dedicated IP.

On photos, yes, they can be faked. I've seen both truly hilarious attempts, and ones that were so good it was almost impossible to tell. Keep in mind that scammers usually ask their victims for things like passport scans, driver's license scans, and yes, pictures of themselves, sometimes holding a paper with something written on it. This usually happens with 419 scams, as those victims are more willing to send such things.

All of these items are kept, shared (or sold) and used to convince other victims that the scammer is 'real'. I had one poor booger's passport scan sent to me by at least 5 different scammers, and I know of a cancer victim whose blog (photos included) detailing his battle was stolen and is still being used by scammers running 'dying of cancer' 419 scams, years after his death. I personally dealt with a love scam victim who was fooled by a driver's license scan and photos that turned out to belong to someone the scammer had victimized in a 419 the year before. All of this is why sending a photo of yourself holding a paper or any such thing to someone you aren't very sure of is a bad idea. I hope I don't even have to mention that sending a passport or driver's license scan to anyone over the internet is just nuts.

quote:

Dragon, I agree, Collarme should charge $10 or $15 per month just to keep out a lot of the phoneys and tv's on the trol.
That way I wouldn't be getting 6-8 messages per week from "Ghana" from women wanting to "be your slave for life if you'll only send me $1,000 to relocate" and tv's who want me to tell them "what I'll do to them if they're naughty."
A monthly fee would keep out a lot of those assholes.

I've said this before and will say it again. The result of things like this is often that you wind up attracting better quality scammers. The more successful ones actually prefer pay sites, as many of the people on those sites believe that the fees keep the scammers out. It's often easier to hook a victim that thinks they are on a 'safe' site.

As for why the scammers don't mind spending the money for a pay site, they aren't using their money at all. The same gangs that run internet scams also run mass phishing operations, stealing credit card numbers and paypal account logins from anyone gullible enough to fall for it. Those credit cards and paypal accounts are used for many things, including memberships to dating sites. They are also used by love scammers to purchase things like small gifts and flowers, another common technique used to make a victim feel safe and convince them that the scammer is 'real'. If a pay site profile is shut down, the scammer is out nothing at all. As on a free site, they just make a new one.

In the end, the only thing that will keep you (general) from being scammed is you.
Internet scamming is a huge business that involves billions (yes, billions) of dollars per year. The way the money is moved around is often very sophisticated, and something I have written about here before. Some scams are easy to spot, while others are much more difficult.

A good love scammer will sometimes spend months cultivating a relationship with his (yes, scammers are overwhelmingly male) victim before going for the pay out. Others won't ever ask for money directly, preferring to either run a check scam or use their victims as mules for fake checks and stolen goods purchased with phished credit cards.

Anyone who thinks that scamming begins and ends with the guy pecking away at a keyboard in a Nigerian internet cafe is seriously mistaken. There are some excellent websites on the net that go into great detail about the extent of the problem, and how to spot some of the more sophisticated scams.
[/end Scammer 101]









sexyred1 -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 3:48:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

If people were reasonable and did not over-invest before getting to know people, much less before meeting them, there would not be such an issue of hope being ruined.  If someone sends me messages that do not meet my predetermined parameters, I simply choose to ignore it.


You are totally right Katy, but sometimes, even when you do that, the person does end up being a lying fake. I am the most cynical and reasonable person and recently I was conversing for about a week (which is my limit before meeting in person or I discard communication) with someone from a vanilla site.

He was slightly over the top in his enthusiasm, but we were hitting it off on every level so I was cool about it.

He called me all the time, texted all the time, always replied back whatever time of day I contacted him, etc. So I had no real reason to be concerned other than my innate cynicism.

The day we were supposed to have our first date, he never got in touch, never replied to my contacting him and he was logged into the site we met on all day that day so I knew he was not lying in a ditch dead. And I never found out what happened to make him change his behavior and not meet.

So, while I was not invested in him emotionally at all, I was still pretty pissed that I wasted a week of my life talking to someone who seemed normal and who I was going to meet in person.

Of course in retrospect, I am happy to have found this out BEFORE we met, but even when you think you have a great bullshit-o-meter, you can be fooled. And you know me, I am not the idealistic type. :)




KatyLied -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 4:03:32 PM)

Oh, there are all kinds.  I accept the fact that people can flake at any time, you never really know anyone.  It may be cynical, but it is the truth.




PeanutTigerinBox -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 4:05:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
As for why the scammers don't mind spending the money for a pay site, they aren't using their money at all. The same gangs that run internet scams also run mass phishing operations, stealing credit card numbers and paypal account logins from anyone gullible enough to fall for it. Those credit cards and paypal accounts are used for many things, including memberships to dating sites. They are also used by love scammers to purchase things like small gifts and flowers, another common technique used to make a victim feel safe and convince them that the scammer is 'real'. If a pay site profile is shut down, the scammer is out nothing at all. As on a free site, they just make a new one.


Very well said. Over here I learned the importance of checking my outgoings from my finances on a fairly regular basis online per internet banking (I don't do that on a paranoid level, but simply as I am rather short of money anyway and so I keep an eye on it to see which bills are paid by now and which ones still have to get through) where it happened that 2 years ago I realised 30 pound were gone to O2 (mobile phone provider)....I was puzzled but left it for that moment as I still was considering what it could be from my spendings....thinking about where did I use the card....another 2 weeks later I had it again on my account, another 30 pound gone, by then I knew for sure that this has to do with that phone company and quite frankly as my phones aren't with O2 I shouldn't have any bills from them....so I called my bank, got my money back and signed that I don't know who that money took. For security reasons they also provided me with a new card.

If I would not have checked my cards on a regular basis I would not have realised it...just 30 pound (about 45 dollar) here and another 30 pound there...

soon later a person was in the news who had countless faked credit cards in use where I wondered if she (they talked about a woman in that case) was the one who had access to my details as well....[8|]




CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 4:09:55 PM)

JoJohannsson, eventually I will figure out what you typed and attempt to do this myself.  It would be nice to eliminate someone obviously lying about what country or state they are in.  But first...
quote:

:-D Thanks. But is really no fancy stuff, simply knowing a command (or web service):
* Use an email client for email, not a web interface! ;-)
* Open the email in question. Usually you will find an option like "View email source" or similar in the "View" menu or "Message" menu or somewhere similar. Click it. See the emails source.
* At the top of the message, before the text you can usually read are the email headers. Information added by the stations that handled the email and by the sending mail server. One line will be something like

Received: from [123.123.123.123] by web123456.mail.gq1.yahoo.com via HTTP; Sat, 31 Jul 2010 05:28:14 PDT

...but first, I will have to figure out things like..."command" "web service" "email client" vs "web interface."  I do know what an enter key is though...and I finally learned I can use refresh by pushing that pesky F5 button instead of using the mouse as I've been doing for over ten years.
[sm=rofl.gif]
Yes, I paid for some college.  Took a class on computers, and surprise surprise it didn't actually involve puting my fingers on a single keyboard...I passed with a B, lol.  American educational systems, gotta love them.  Yes, I am almost completely computer illiterate.  If computers were cars, I'd be the one who knows how to use her key to open the door and turn the ignition...and is overwhelmed if someone wants to talk me through changing the oil.  <laughing>

I have some computer books I can't read, and will try to get definitions for that stuff.  If all I have to do is go into a received Yahoo letter and find some button to push then I will be lucky.  What if I have been in Yahoo chat with someone but haven't exchanged yahoo emails?  Can I do that through YIM?  My computer is an old thing, and the only way I can access YIM is through something called Meebo.  Since we are derailing your thread, feel free to send more info into my mailbox.  Explain as one would...to a very young child, lol.
 
Back on topic...
 
quote:

That's really good :-) Especially the part with the answering machine.
Can you tell me the lines you use? Will they work spoken by a MALE voice, too? :-D

It's all in the tone of voice, actually.  That intimate, new girlfriend voice.  I don't do this during the second week, when I give my Trak phone number and we hear each other's voice for the first time.  I save this for after the first meetup, when I phone and wait for that answering machine.  Most married men wouldn't have the brass to give me their home phone though. 
 
I don't specifically ask for their home phone number right away, but by the first scene if nothing goes hinky I give my home phone number to him.  This is just my way with subs, not with bottoms.  Bottoms do not get my home phone, just the Trak.  I only play with friendly bottoms between subs.
 
For the first few times someone is scening with you, mark them.  Some cologne on their clothing, some of your hairs on their clothing (mine is long and blonde), when they're spacing and out of it use a permanent marker to write your name or something on their body.  If you have been tickling them with this with the cap on, while they are blindfolded, as well as doing something else with your other hand like spanking, they won't think anything of it.  If a hubby sees your initials on her butt or shoulder, she's in trouble. 
 
Some will leave a telltale welt or bruising as a mark, but I usually don't choose to mark people.
 
This is my way, not everyone's one twue way. [;)] 




thornhappy -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 4:20:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix

Tis Dragon again.

Let’s see...... Where to begin? Hmm...

I have suggested to collarme to make it a pay site FREQUENTLY just for that reason and YES I would PONY up for it unlike you obviously!

Go try Alt.com, and see how many fakes are there.  There be plenty!




Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 4:20:45 PM)

My X used to call me sometimes at  1 am and stuff, and my Mom was NOT pleased,  because my room was next to  her but she put up with it.

I bet my mom never was so glad to have us move to another part of the house, as when Daddy and I moved , because he'd get home late at night an it'd bother her when we accidentally talked to loud or had the tv up to loud.


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeanutTigerinBox



Lol, that actually happened on my first trip to Canada to meet Master M 2 years ago, where all of a sudden his phone rang in the middle of the night [8|]




MstrPBK -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 4:35:38 PM)

1) they insist on having me put them on my messenger before we have even chatted.
2) they avoid questions that were asked, and then change the subject
3) they don't keep track of past conversations, and how they interrelate.
4) they attempt to control the goals of the proposed relationship.
5a) they talk
5b) in fragments
5c) in each conversation
5d) without making
5e) reference to what
5f) they are talking about
5g) as a whole.
6) they take information in and never respond to what is being said (this is different than a doormat slave)
7) they come and go as they wish without warning.
8) their stories change over time ...

do I need to go on?

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA





Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 4:37:09 PM)

I personally don't trust or believe or rely on refernces as far as I can spit.

Who would give out the name of someone who would give anything but flattering replies? Not very many.

I certainly wouldn't give you a way to contact my x dom, even if I was still in contact with him, or knew how to get ahold of him, knowing he may dish all the shitty reasons our relationship ended, if I am looking to make a good impression. Because who I was then, isn't who I am now, for one, and for two, I wouldn't want him telling people all the things I did wrong that ended our relationship. That's between him and I. And if that's something a potential new person wanted to know, they could ask me and I would tell them.

My X  even though I haven't talked to him in years, would not be happy I am willing to bed to have someone popping up and asking him questions about me. I am sure I am an experince he'd rather just forget lol.


I'm not new to the lifestyle, but I am not in contact with any of my x's any more, or those who I have played with in the past, plus like I said who I was when I was with them, isn't who I am now, and I don't play publicly, so other than the person I am playing with now, or dating now, if I was poly, and you were seeking to get involved with a poly person, just who's going to be a reference?

And of course, if I did play publicly, and you asked the community about me, how do you know what they're saying is real or accurate, or if the person in question doesn't like me and is just malicious?

It happens, I have had people tell other people on forrums I was on,  they don't think I am mentally capable of consenting to bdsm activities, and I am rude, and stupid, and socially in adept,  and annoying and they can't stand me, blah blah blah, She'll say anything rude or hurtful about me she can, and she has even gone so far as to say  they think my Daddy is weird and has mental issues, and is creepy, She has said all this not really knowing my Daddy, She's seen him a few times at the kinky convention we both attend.

A few moments of a snap shot is really not enough time to make a proper judgment on knowing someone.





quote:

ORIGINAL: JoJohannsson

* asking for a reference: I like that one much. A mentor or fellow BDSM follower/fellow sub to should be possible to find - except where the aquaintance has previously stated (may be even in the profile) that he/she is new to the lifestyle and has no experience yet.


Jo





angelikaJ -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 4:38:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JoJohannsson

Hi everyone.


Now my questions to YOU:
* Do you have any technical things or verification methods or tricks to find out if your new online aquaintance is real?
* Do you know of any sources on the internet that help you by providing technical help or info or other stuff to find out if you are talking to a real person, not a fake?
* What if you found out (for sure) that your aquaintance is obviously sailing under a false flag? Do you report the profile?

Cheers, Jo






I was a bit of a collarme anomally I think because I actually answered each and every piece of cmail that came into my box.

I did not spend time rooting out fakes, nor did I worry about them.

Now one would think that I would have been tasty prey for all of the bad people that swarm the halls of collarme... right?

Amazingly, I was not really hit up by scammers, because the things they offered evidently weren't what I wanted, and my polite responses did not engage them for long.

My polite responses didn't engage the people who wanted wanking off material either.

I wrote about my profound and barely consolable grief at having missed the "fakes" experience here:
http://www.collarchat.com/m_2774994/mpage_1/key_Fakes/tm.htm#2774994

I am still recovering from the disappointment.





mnottertail -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 4:38:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thornhappy

quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix

Tis Dragon again.

Let’s see...... Where to begin? Hmm...

I have suggested to collarme to make it a pay site FREQUENTLY just for that reason and YES I would PONY up for it unlike you obviously!

Go try Alt.com, and see how many fakes are there.  There be plenty!



There is an advert on the mail page for alt.  Do you know how many hotties there are in Perham, right in my area? A town of around 2600, and you don't think I would notice californiacocksucker right here in Perham, and be up on her right quick?  




CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 5:31:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

You would at least respect the hours they said you couldn't call because of being asleep though right?

Cause I know for me, if we  were considering each other, even though I am a female and you're seeking males only most likely, if you called me say at 1 in the morning randomly as some kind of test, and I had told you, do not call after 10:30 I will be sleeping since I go to bed at 10:30 to be getting enough sleep for work, and you called me at 1 am randomly to just test to see who answered I'd be pissed lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia

I call at random times to see if another female answers,



No, I'm not that big of an ass. [;)]  I call on one day in what happens to be "their" morning, on another within their afternoon, at their night, and at sometime during the weekend.  As I would expect to be able to do with any single person.  I do not interrupt someone's sleep cycle...on the other hand, they are free to call me at any time, 24/7.  I don't mind waking up from a dead sleep for someone who is important to me.
 
Men I am with are usually workaholics, and sometimes also work the hoot owl shift, getting off work early in the morning.  I enjoy being the last voice they hear before going to sleep as well as the first voice heard upon waking up...with someone I have serious intentions toward. 




popeye1250 -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 5:44:58 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: thornhappy

quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix

Tis Dragon again.

Let’s see...... Where to begin? Hmm...

I have suggested to collarme to make it a pay site FREQUENTLY just for that reason and YES I would PONY up for it unlike you obviously!

Go try Alt.com, and see how many fakes are there.  There be plenty!



There is an advert on the mail page for alt.  Do you know how many hotties there are in Perham, right in my area? A town of around 2600, and you don't think I would notice californiacocksucker right here in Perham, and be up on her right quick?  



Ha! You noticed that too!
PLENTY of "Hot Chicks" here in Myrtle Beach" in their twenties who want to "Hook Up" with guys like ME who are in their late 50's , according to Alt!
Years ago I started counting in their site and there was a ratio of like 17 to 1 Men to Women there! Not very good odds!
Anytime *I* "hook up" with a chick in her 20's it usually involves a credit card or "$150 cash for an hour."
Who'da thought, a cluster of goreous nymphomaniac women in their twenties in a small town in Minnesotta looking for "older" guys!
I wonder if the U. of Minn. will do a sociological "study" on it?
Wow, you're a lucky guy Ron!




reynardfox -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 6:13:49 PM)

Aw! did somebody get left feeling all left out then?
Real the profiles properly, then start communicating.
Hate all these posts whining about fakers, do yourself a favour and try not to show the the whole BDSM world how pathetically needy you are.




Aileen1968 -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 6:16:03 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: reynardfox

Aw! did somebody get left feeling all left out then?
Real the profiles properly, then start communicating.
Hate all these posts whining about fakers, do yourself a favour and try not to show the the whole BDSM world how pathetically needy you are.



And your words show, once again, how pathetically nasty you are.




DragonNphoenix -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 6:52:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: thornhappy

quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix

Tis Dragon again.

Let’s see...... Where to begin? Hmm...

I have suggested to collarme to make it a pay site FREQUENTLY just for that reason and YES I would PONY up for it unlike you obviously!

Go try Alt.com, and see how many fakes are there.  There be plenty!



There is an advert on the mail page for alt.  Do you know how many hotties there are in Perham, right in my area? A town of around 2600, and you don't think I would notice californiacocksucker right here in Perham, and be up on her right quick?  



ALT.com is a disgrace all the way around but I see you speak from experience so I will leave this one at that!

Dragon

"I feel the need the need for (A Metal gauntlet full of 9 inch needle spikes) Speed!!"




DragonNphoenix -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 6:59:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: thornhappy

quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix

Tis Dragon again.

Let’s see...... Where to begin? Hmm...

I have suggested to collarme to make it a pay site FREQUENTLY just for that reason and YES I would PONY up for it unlike you obviously!

Go try Alt.com, and see how many fakes are there.  There be plenty!



There is an advert on the mail page for alt.  Do you know how many hotties there are in Perham, right in my area? A town of around 2600, and you don't think I would notice californiacocksucker right here in Perham, and be up on her right quick?  



Ha! You noticed that too!
PLENTY of "Hot Chicks" here in Myrtle Beach" in their twenties who want to "Hook Up" with guys like ME who are in their late 50's , according to Alt!
Years ago I started counting in their site and there was a ratio of like 17 to 1 Men to Women there! Not very good odds!
Anytime *I* "hook up" with a chick in her 20's it usually involves a credit card or "$150 cash for an hour."
Who'da thought, a cluster of goreous nymphomaniac women in their twenties in a small town in Minnesotta looking for "older" guys!
I wonder if the U. of Minn. will do a sociological "study" on it?
Wow, you're a lucky guy Ron!



mnottertail is the sky in your world purple and fuzzy? If so crawl out from under the mattress and turn on some lights!

SHEEPLE! Err SHEESH!

Dragon

“I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner”, Hannibal Lecter




DragonNphoenix -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 7:01:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: reynardfox

Aw! did somebody get left feeling all left out then?
Real the profiles properly, then start communicating.
Hate all these posts whining about fakers, do yourself a favour and try not to show the the whole BDSM world how pathetically needy you are.



Umm... hmmm.. MEH?

Dragon

“You’re just jealous ’cause I’m a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask”




thornhappy -> RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real (8/1/2010 7:40:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail
quote:

ORIGINAL: thornhappy
quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix
Tis Dragon again.
Let’s see...... Where to begin? Hmm...

I have suggested to collarme to make it a pay site FREQUENTLY just for that reason and YES I would PONY up for it unlike you obviously!

Go try Alt.com, and see how many fakes are there.  There be plenty!


There is an advert on the mail page for alt.  Do you know how many hotties there are in Perham, right in my area? A town of around 2600, and you don't think I would notice californiacocksucker right here in Perham, and be up on her right quick?  

Heh, that did make me laugh.  I don't see a lot of studmuffins on the guys' side!

BTW Dragon, Ron's the last guy you'd need to tell to get out from under the mattress.




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