sunshinemiss
Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Aynne88
Oh my, I was married to a Korean man for 22 years, and my Korean mother in law was like a blitzkrieg. So we my sister-in-laws. They ran the families with iron fists. I always get a laugh when Western men extol the virtues of delicate Korean flowers when my extended family members were anything but submissive. Yes, they were lovely, and wonderful women, but submissive isn't the word that comes into my mind. And yes, they were from Korea, not raised here. Maybe Sunshine can speak n this too, since she is living in Korea.
OP, welcome to the boards. :)
You called?
You now, I saw wanders' name and wondered what she was writing about ... and lo and behold here's the topic, and my own Sweet Aynne calling for me.
Ahhhh serendipity.
About the food:
Korean food is an amazing cuisine. It is healthy and is based on the concept of balance. Hot food, cold food, spicy food, bland food. While I don't always know what it is when I look at it, I have found that with few exceptions, Korean food is wonderful! Vegetarians can easily live on a traditional Korean diet - it's full of soy protein, yogurt, eggs, and fish (for those who are flexible with their vegetarianism). Anybody who doesn't like Korean food hasn't had decent Korean food. It's fabulous - runs the gamut from beef / pork and rice / potatoes to dried squid and seaweed soup. As to their bodies - their metabolism is different. They eat (I swear) twice what I eat and are half my size. Some people are just built this way.
Same Same but Different (saying on a t-shirt)
Korean culture here (in South Korea) tends to have something of an innocence that we don't see elsewhere. At least on the surface, that is how it is. Once you get to know the people, they are like everyone else. They let down their reserve, and they are passionate, funny, kind... or just as readily assholes and idiots.
Looksism / Materialism
The culture tends to be very materialistic in some ways (response to the war?). They are incredibly efficient in some ways and woefully nitpicky to the point that their fussiness gets in the way of progress. There is a looksism here that is worse than the USA. Many a young woman leaves high school and has plastic surgery before she goes to uni so that she will be more beautiful and get a second chance. They do everything they can to have pale skin since only the laborers have suntanned skin. I find it a little creepy how materialistic and looksist they can be. But it is what it is.
The women dress like they are going to a wedding even if they are just going to the supermarket. Their bodies tend to be really small and they wear a lot of poofy, airy clothes. That makes them seem overly feminine (or childlike). It's rather Stepford wife-y on the surface. However, again, beneath the surface, they are tough as nails. They run their families and their homes like drill sargeants.
Belonging
There is a presumption of group involvement that we don't see in Western society - or at least I don't. I have a few folks I'm friendly with... I can't really say I have "friends" here since I'm building friendships, but a couple people are getting there. When I was sick recently, my western friends all said "let me know if there's anything I can do." They were willing to help. My Korean friends said things like, "can I meet you at the hospital and translate?" or "I want to come to your place and get you water / juice / broth" or "I'm free on Saturday, can I bring you something? A newspaper or book?" My being ill swept like wildfire through the Korean groups that I'm involved in and EVERY ONE OF THEM wrote me and offered to help. The difference in the way they view their interactions with me is what makes them "seem" more submissive. It is NOT submissiveness though. It is a belongingness. They saw me as belonging to their group or clan or tribe... I was one of them in some way. It is their responsibiltiy to take care of their friend just as it is MY responsibility to take care of them if something happens to them. From the westerners, it was on me to ask for help. At a time when I could barely utter a simple yes or no answer and definitely couldn't think up a full question or dial a phone number, the response from the Koreans was ever so welcome. I would have felt weird making a phone call to ask my friends to come over and bring me a bottle of water. But Koreans offered. On the flip side, when one of them was applying for a new job, I wrote her a letter of recommendation without being asked and gave it to her... because I also must take care of her. She is a part of my tribe.
Conclusion
Please don't make the mistake of thinking Korean women are submissive, delicate, sweet things. They are some of the toughest people I've ever met.
That's my take on it - for what it's worth - from living here a year and a half.
Best,
sunshine
*look at that - I wrote an essay!
< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 8/2/2010 5:51:12 AM >
_____________________________
Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14
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RE: What do you think about korea women? - 
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) through to the much darker shades. This partly depends on where they are originally from. 
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