RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE

RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (Full Version)

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sabswife -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/6/2006 6:43:59 AM)
For me becoming a sub wasn't about giving anything up, it was about having a need fulfilled inside myself. Anything i "gave up" to my Dom is something i didn't want in the first place. i love and trust my Dom and know that He will always ensure that my needs are always met. Thats what a true Dom does. So how is that giving something up?

understud -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/6/2006 7:13:46 AM)
MistressSophia: I never deleted but did block several people who came across as totally unbalanced . I sought out Cm to help me , ran scared, swallowed my pride and then took a step of faith...now i find my lack of experience may drown me altogether. But i'm going to try there is no doubt i would rather be somewhere else, but i feel this is right...hell yes it scares me, it would scare anyone who had limited exposure to the BDSM lifestyle...Well thanks to help from those here and posting i am groping my way forward...would i have deleted ...i don't know, some of the e-m i received were pretty far out, devoid of any humanity at all...then i got a phone call, that changed everything...well i'm still here, scared beyond words at time and determined to do my best. i know i don't make good decisions...i need someone who does, i may have found her. if i quit, then what..if i stay then what. One person told me no guarantees, but you must make the decision. so i shall and if all works out; it will probable the best decision i ever made. it wasn't easy and it still isn't; but what is worthwhile in life that is easy....i hope this helps you in the research, the gods know i have asked for and received more than my fair share..so maybe i can give something back...the unknown is often terrifying if these boards didn't exist i probably wouldn't still be here either. That says a lot about the caliber of people at Cm, or at least i think so.....respectfully understud...

spankmepink11 -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/6/2006 7:19:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sabswife For me becoming a sub wasn't about giving anything up, it was about having a need fulfilled inside myself. Anything i "gave up" to my Dom is something i didn't want in the first place. i love and trust my Dom and know that He will always ensure that my needs are always met. Thats what a true Dom does. So how is that giving something up? *That was expressed excellently sabswife*

aleshaDreams -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/6/2006 9:26:24 AM)
I am guilty of profile deletion and have done it due to fear, due to being right pissed at someone that was pursuing me and ripped my a new *sshole because I felt it would not work, due to demands from Doms demanding acknowledgement, and due to fustration from said ignorant Doms and subs looking for Dommes that can not read a profile properly. The major reason of those given though is just the shear fustration of pursuit and those that have tried that new darn well my profile did not match their desires but felt they could change my thinking aka turn submissive into their personal slave. And one tries to be nice but sometimes being nice just does not get the message across. It is survival on the internet, now i am just plain rude and don't respond if their profile and desires don't match to any degree, and if their writing stinks and or the content is questionable (aka married, discretion, matritial status unknown not stated), and/or if they are involved with someone (I am just not prepared to go into a relationship with more than one at this time). Hope my take helps you, although i am not a boy. edit: I concur with the last paragraph that anthrosub stated also. These are quite serious considerations and the extent to which they go unanswered by a Dominant the easier it is to walk away.

KnightofMists -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/6/2006 2:14:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressSophia is it just fear, self doubt .a need to reflect. and is the fight as great over the loss? Thank you, Mistress Sophia it also maybe an Integrity issue.... not all that close up profiles and disappear are actually authentic in their submissive desires.... some are just playing a game of deception and after the game gets boring they move on.

littleone35 -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/6/2006 2:20:21 PM)
I think that is just pain rude. I can understand being scared i was very well maybe not scared but nervous when i met my Master. Even though i knew after our meeting i was going to be his i had made a plan to meet another dom before Master and i met. So even though i had the Dom i wanted i went through with the meeting and tod him. he was pretty annoyed but he was glad i told him and did not disapper. I find that rude cause it happend to me also before i met Master. Matt's littleone

KnightofMists -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/6/2006 2:23:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams welcome to edmonton and the collarme boards... hope to run into you soon at one of the events... maybe even a coffee. take care

texasbutterfly -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/6/2006 2:38:33 PM)
i must admit i have deleted a profile here and there. for me it was more for self preservation. i was not so smart and gave out too much information. it became a safety issue. hence, the stark bareness of my profile now. when i learn how to sensor myself and can be smart about what i share and when i share it...then i will add to my profile. i am not a player at this new lifestyle i have set myself up for. i need to be here. but i need to learn how to be smart at it too. again, as in other posts, this is just my humble opinion based on me and what little i know.

aleshaDreams -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/6/2006 2:47:50 PM)
littleone you are absolutely right it is rude, but a person can only explain their position so many times and enough is enough. And, sometimes 'out of sight out of mind' is the only alternative. I had one that continually viewed my profile after he gave me an earful of how rude I was to him. Thats his take, I have my take on the soapbox too, but not the intent of the original posters information request. But yes you are right, it is rude to delete, but to save my soul I don't care (no offense to you though) cause each of the negative encounters rips alittle more spirit from me.

aleshaDreams -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/6/2006 2:50:48 PM)
Knight of Mists, thank You very much. I am a week into the city, laying alittle low now and begin work Monday. I am still debating tonights event, and have not made a decision as of yet. I certainly do look forward to meeting You as well. Enjoy the weekend, and if our paths cross that would be nice. ad.

KnightofMists -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/6/2006 3:14:42 PM)
I assume you talking about Buddies... I urge you to go... I myself have other commitments and don't expect to be there. But, I do believe denika and her husband plan to go... as I am sure alot of others will be there as well. take care

aleshaDreams -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/6/2006 3:30:18 PM)
Knight of Mists, thank You and will take Your recommendation to heart.

denika -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/6/2006 3:49:40 PM)
Hi aleshaDreams. Rob and I will more than likely be going so please don't be shy to say hello to us.. (My hair is a lot longer than in the pic of me s but the bat tattoo is hard to miss ) Buddies is always fun and it's for a good charity. Hope to see you there. denika

slavejali -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/6/2006 4:20:17 PM)
I think in regards to people disappearing on the internet, deleting bios's etc, is due to the fact they had never any real intentions to begin with a lot of the time...and I dont mean any offense at all with what I say next.....but....with the stories I hear, it really makes me wonder about peoples general discernment capabilities when they get seduced into someones fantasy under the guise of reality online. Saying that.... When Master was arriving here and his plane was late, it took all my effort to stay there waiting, I was so terrified...not of him...but I just knew this signified a massive change in my life, one I wanted dearly...but...god I was scared, I cant describe it. I didnt run cause my faith that everthing was going to be alright counteracted my scaredness....interesting thing was....when Master's plane finally got there....and we met...he was shaking as much as me grin So insight into the mind of a slave/submissive? Fear of the unknown is the highest known fear of mankind and is across the board...I guess everyone just has to learn to ride it whether Dom or sub.

littleone35 -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/6/2006 4:46:49 PM)
alesha I am sorry i was not talking about you in particular i am sorry you took i meant you. I am talking about the people who just say well i don't like that person i am not gonna talk to them anymore and disapper. I had that happen to me. You had a good reason for doing what you did. I was basically talking about the players who seem to haunt sites like this. You i can tell are not a player. Good luck to you in your search. Matt's littleone

aleshaDreams -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/6/2006 5:49:40 PM)
littleone, no worries no offense taken :) and I just wanted to paint a picture for my reason for being rude and the reason for such. Just clarification. Alls good, be well and thank you. denika well I shall keep my eyes open for you and the bat, Look forward to meeting with you, I will look like the girl that does not belong at this type of gathering aka I am sure I will stick out like a sore thumb lol not that I have one but you know......... giggles

PAVANE -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/7/2006 12:55:43 AM)
Its something which has always baffled me. How people just go with saying goodbye or leaving any explanation. By this I mean people one has chatted with on the phone or a IM for a few weeks and got on well with. And have seemed to be genuine.

GreyEagle -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/7/2006 7:42:49 AM)
A sub/slave cannot truely be a sub/slave without submitting to a dominate force. Part of this submission is surrendering control to a Master/Mistress. The greater the surrender, the better the relationship. This surrender comes with an element of fear on the sub/slaves part and can be overwhelming. If this fear comes from within then they will likely change profiles many times and eventually give up entirely unless they find a patient Master/Mistress and develop enough trust to overcome their fear. I hope this helps you Grey Eagle

littlechameleon -> RE: THE MINDS OF A SUB/SLAVE (5/7/2006 1:13:00 PM)
I’m not sure when the world became so cynical – when someone deleting a profile instantly meant they were posers or wannabes or fakers but overall I disagree with that whole opinion. Personally, when I first logged onto collarme – I had an account but not a profile. I guess that makes me a lurker. LoL. Why? Fear. A lot of what I saw here scared the hell out of me. I prefer a side of bdsm with my submission. I had no bdsm experience and wasn’t sure I could find a Master who I was compatible with. Some want any Master – I did not. I was patient and I did find the Master of my dreams. The profile I have now is the first I’ve ever had here. Anyway, as far as disappearing…. It my opinion that a true submissive/slave is a pleaser by nature – someone who doesn’t want to ever say “no” or disappoint. Personally for me, there was a time when I thought the whole worlds happiness rode on my shoulders and was dependent on my being everything to everyone. I think disappearing is the easy way out verse having to say out loud, “no, we are not compatible, we are not going to work”….they would rather look bad then disappoint you even this early in the game. Why do they often resurface? I would imagine it’s because they still have an undeniable need to serve. They, too, are searching for something – for someone that fits THEIR needs. Lets not also forget, although many of you are in denial that while we are submissives/slaves – we are also multi-faceted, complex human beings. I’m willing to admit that part of my fear was in trying to fulfill that part of me – I would lose all the traits I liked about myself. For example, I love to laugh, I love to talk….what if I had to obtain permission every time I wanted to speak. Could i? Small things perhaps but real fears nonetheless. For some, yes, at that moment in time, the fear does outweigh everything else. Fear you aren’t ready, fear you will fail, fear you wont be taken seriously. My wee rant wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t also mention the slaves/subs who announce in their profile they are happily owned on Monday only to be searching again by Thursday. I only search certain areas so I see this often. How many times can this happen before you have to delete your profile and resurface again at a later date once everyone has forgotten you’ve been owned 3 times last month. Its my opinion that these are the people that can’t distinguish fantasy and real. They just want to be owned and tend to forget that even M/s relationships are built on compatibility and connection.

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