RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (Full Version)

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MistressDREAD -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/20/2006 4:58:44 PM)


quote:

Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies?

Yep



MochaMistress -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/20/2006 5:57:14 PM)

Doesnt work for me. My dominance doesnt switch off. And I dont want to share my sub with someone that he can go sub. If I was only in to playing instead of looking for a LTR it would work but personally it doesnt fit in what I'm looking for.



MizSuz -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/20/2006 6:06:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: talmar

Dommes does it turn you off if a sub or slave has switch tendencies...& expressed a desire to top (not you but other subs) occasionally?


It depends on the relationship I have with the sub/slave.  I don't mind if my primary partner tops other people, but I wouldn't remain involved (as a primary partner) with a sub who was someone else's dominant.  If we're friends then I say "you get yours" and wish you the best with it!

It's not that it's a turn off, per say, just that my experience is that it makes finding the power balance in the primary relationship more difficult.  It's not the kind of difficulties I want to engage in.



crouchingtigress -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/20/2006 6:42:02 PM)

Same for me[:)]


quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: talmar

Dommes does it turn you off if a sub or slave has switch tendencies...& expressed a desire to top (not you but other subs) occasionally?


Nope.

In fact, my best slaves and submissives have been switches.

I consider it an honor to hear that he/she desires to serve me when they could in fact be topping another person. Its even better when they still consider themselves my slave when they top others.

I do think it is important to make room for those toppish desires to get expressed though because it shows I value the entire person I own, not just those parts I can use or which are focused on me.

This just happens to be my experience.



chainedphoenix -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/20/2006 7:07:58 PM)

As a switch, I will be Domme to some of the people I experiment with, but sub to my (long-term) Master. My attitude (Domme/sub) is dependent on the reactions each person provokes in me, and I can't change them once set - hence I'm Domme to one of my on-off female partners, but will always be sub to Master.

It never turns me off - rather, it's a challenge to make them obey me when they have that tendency themselves. It's also extremely gratifying, as tammyjo says, to know that they could be dominant, and yet choose to submit to you.



Goddesshesykhia -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/22/2006 10:25:05 AM)

I really do not think that it bothers Me to have a submissive with "switch" qualities.  Although I must say that I am a one person Gal so he would not be switching much.  Now... if I wanted my hair pulled or have it rough perhaps! Grins




MsCynical -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/22/2006 12:55:36 PM)

I don't consider a submissive who enjoys topping occasionally to be a switch.  Topping is taking the lead in sexual or play activities, it has nothing to do with servitude or the everyday power exchange.  I am a mistress who would appreciate a sub who could top in the bedroom on demand to be a gem.  This community has gotten hung up on titles and dominants are afraid to admit that floggings can be relaxing.  I'll be the first to admit, I am quite the pro at topping from the bottom, when it suits me.
MsC



talmar -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/22/2006 2:45:06 PM)

Thanks.  My former Domme always got a kick out of watching me top.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

You post good questions talmar.  I enjoy the switch dynamic because co-topping
can be such a blast!  Also, most switches enjoy learning new techniques and
watching them learn and practice is a pleasurable experience for Me.
 
Regards,
 
-Vendaval-
 
 
 



LadyHugs -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/22/2006 3:11:44 PM)


Dear Mr. Talmar; Ladies and Gentlemen;
Good topic. In the question if I am turned off by “Switches” I would have to reply to two things--I do enjoy using switches on bottoms but, knowing that it refers to individuals that switch roles I would have to say, that it depends on the individual themselves.
 
I have worked with Switches, mentoring and teaching. However, I Switches have difficulty in that transformation from each role, when in a dungeon setting, playing and such. However, in a teaching, mentoring capacity, I find them more submissive as they are willing to hush up and learn. I have had a few Masters submit for a few months but, they did not switch back and forth daily. They were solid in one role or the other. Once these Masters switched back into a dominant role, they didn’t Switch.
 
As a side note, I have often heard from male submissive/slave types that it really bothered them to see their owners submit to another. I think I can understand how it would be difficult to watch or understand. Switches are a breed apart from strictly dominant and or submissive. But, I still stand by my thoughts that it really is an individual and case-by-case experience and interaction. In my day “Switching” was not permitted except for a brief phase from slave to Master/Mistress; having one year to make one’s mind up of what role one preferred to pursue and commit to.  So, you will have to excuse my old school logic.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs
 



Proprietrix -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/22/2006 3:50:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs
...So, you will have to excuse my old school logic.
 Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs
 


Lady Hugs,
I love your old school logic and feel I could learn a lot from you. I've found all of your posts thus far informative and insightful. I look forward to reading more of what you have to say.
Welcome to the boards.
I hope you stay a while.
~Miss P



MistressDREAD -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/22/2006 6:31:15 PM)

waves to Hugs and hands Her a new switch. [===/~~~~~~~~~~~<
Welcome to Collarme.



LadyMorgynn -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/22/2006 6:40:19 PM)

Absolutely!  I want a SLAVE.  I would consider a switch to be too conflicted to be able to submit as a slave (at least, My slave) for 24/7.  Unless I was owning a stable of slaves and had alpha/beta slaves, but I'm not, and even if I did have more than 1 slave, both would be equal, neither would be an alpha. 

In fact, this alpha bitch is going to be the ONLY alpha anything in My household! 

So there[sm=whip.gif]





talmar -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/22/2006 7:32:47 PM)

I have switched roles in the middle of three or four hour sessions before when I was playing with a female switch. I never had a problem doing it. 
The Primary Domme I served however never switched she is strictly Dominate.  Welcome to the board. I like Your posts!



LadyHugs -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/22/2006 7:59:50 PM)

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I hope to be of value to anyone who needs it.  I have been fortunate to have been in the times of the early scene to present.  But, I must also mention that Masters, Mistresses, slaves have all been teachers be it direct or indirect.  Sometimes, I have been the original source of things.
 
Everybody has value and no matter if new or old, in my case so ancient that my bags have their own luggage--I hope the best of days past can be kept and the torch passed to the new generation.
 
I do thank you all for your warm welcome, to which I will stay most interested in such intelligent exchanges to which respect is most refreshing.

Warm respects,
Lady Hugs
 
 



TexasMaam -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/22/2006 10:14:49 PM)

Hmm. If My sub, who is a switch, expressed a desire to top someone else? 

...................hmmmmmmmmmm...........................

It'd be Pretty Ballsy of My sub to express that thought............

...................hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....................[X(]

TexasMaam



thetammyjo -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/23/2006 7:28:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: talmar

I have switched roles in the middle of three or four hour sessions before when I was playing with a female switch. I never had a problem doing it.
The Primary Domme I served however never switched she is strictly Dominate. Welcome to the board. I like Your posts!


I think that there are a lot of misunderstandings about switches.

A switch need not be both dom and sub -- he can be a sub who loves to top because it makes other people happy or a dom who happens to get off on being flogged.

A switch usually choses a role or is triggered by an individual -- its probably rarer to find folks who only switch roles with each other especially if the Ds dynamics are high because it would indeed be a big mental shift.

I think most of us are complex individuals. I don't someone having switch desires or needs equals them being less of a good slave or a good submissive.



FLsubmalecd -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/23/2006 8:37:11 AM)

This is a very good topic. But it made me think of something that came up between myself and a friend discussing the D/s roles. If we have to label ourselves, I am a sub, That;s the way it is. However with that said, if my Mistress wanted me to spank her, flog her or otherwise do something that would be considered something done by a Top/Dom/me would I then be considered a switch? In my mind NO! For me to ever want to flog, paddle, spank or otherwide top anyone, it would have to be becasue my Domme wanted me to do it. She either asked me or ordered me to do it. So to me,I'd just be doing what i was told to do. Following her orders.
Once,I was asked to spank a female friend of mine and my past Domme's. She wanted to have her bottom very red and have me take pictures of it to post in her spanking group. My Mistress gave me permission to do the spankning and to take the pictures. This was a first for me. OK, I did it! Now a little confusion set in for me. I acually got excited while spanking her! This came as a surprise to me. That I would get an erection from doing a spanking!   So yes, I had to wonder if I was now a full blown switch! lol  I did not like to even think of myself that way. So I wrote it off as just a close encounter wiht a nice shaped naked female tush that got me excited. lol  I told my Mistress what happened to me when I did the spanking. She laughed and said, "nope, you are still a sub..my sub."
So I thik we are all capable of doing what can be considered a bottom or submissive ting to do and yet remain being a sub. I know I am.



thetammyjo -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/24/2006 6:28:26 AM)

One's motivations area almost always the defining factor in what label you have for yourself.

Fox tops because he enjoys topping but that's the physical stuff only, he doesn't have much dominance in him outself of what he's had to do as assistant supervisor or RA in his past.

I've known folks on all sides of the BDSM equation.

Its not a matter of better or worse but more of would these two people click.




MsRachelxxx -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/27/2006 4:11:17 PM)

I'm totally a sub to my Mistress, but i also outside train subs for $'s. it certainly works for me in that i never would even dream of topping my Mistress, yet i do enjoy my subs once or twice a week. LOL



talmar -> RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendencies? (4/28/2006 7:06:38 PM)

I sometimes get my self in trobule being to brash.;)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

Hmm. If My sub, who is a switch, expressed a desire to top someone else? 

...................hmmmmmmmmmm...........................

It'd be Pretty Ballsy of My sub to express that thought............

...................hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....................[X(]

TexasMaam



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